Fair call mate, just having a giggle.
I've used an external HD for years, connected to my router so all devices can be backed up and stuff can be accessed as long as I have internet connection.
When it comes to the Tablet and Phone(Samsung) they are set to backup automatically to My website and cloud.
It's a bugger of a lesson to learn, I lost a ton of stuff a few years back, even back up my website every month.
Hope you get it all sorted.