Author Topic: Parenting Question (Read 15655 times)

Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback · « **on:** January 17, 2015, 05:43:36 PM »

SWMBO and I welcomed our first child in early December and we are currently struggling big time with getting him to sleep.

He's 6 weeks old now and his sleeping habits are getting worse by the day :-( For example yesterday he slept roughly 2 hours. Today he's been a little better but generally just spends his time wide awake or screaming his head off. I managed to get him to sleep at 4pm and tried to have a nap as well and he was awake again in 20mins.

Does anyone have any tips for getting their children to sleep? I'm not holding out much hope and feel we'll just have to tough it out but maybe there's something we haven't tried.

Hoping things get a little easier soon

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evolution · « **Reply #1 on:** January 17, 2015, 05:49:50 PM »

There is no set answer obviously.
How many hours a day/night do you think he is getting?
Both our kids were polar opposites, one slept nearly every spare moment. The other was always screaming and never sleeping.
Although we worked out hers was due to a heart condition. Although it could be anything including excess wind.
Lol really you can only do the best you can do. After that if you are concerned a trip to the local doctor could be worth a try. Trust me when I say you cant ask them a silly question about a child they haven't heard before.

Cheers
Evo

Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback · « **Reply #2 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:00:32 PM »

Yeah i understand. Just getting frustrated.

Been to the doctor and he diagnosed him with reflux which we got under control with some new formula. The screaming back then seemed to be like he was in pain now it just seems like screaming for the sake of screaming :-( wife recons its colic now

Max sleeping over the past few days would be 5 hours a day but yesterday was particularly bad with broken sleep totalling 2hours. Tried in his bassinet, cot, swing, couch beside you, on the bed in between us with no luck.

D4D · « **Reply #3 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:01:49 PM »

Have a read of the book 'Save our Sleep' it worked a treat for us. You basically need to be surgical with routine.

Sometimes they just won't sleep. Worse thing you can do is sleep with them or have them in your own bed.

McGirr · « **Reply #4 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:06:32 PM »

There is no simple answer. Every new born will have their challenges especially your first. Their immunity system has to kick in etc.

I would suggest changing your post to ask myswag members wife's to assist as as much as us male members think we know things and can assist, we really don't have the expertise.

Now drinking we can assist their.

Mark

Tim - Stratford · « **Reply #5 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:24:05 PM »

I'm definitely not an expert but with our 2 who were both not great sleepers. A drive in the car along a dirt road always got good results or a walk in the pram was pretty good also & you get some time out of the house. I hope this helps you & good luck!

Sarah

Jakster1 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:27:20 PM »

Here are a few tips which may help.. it did for us.
Set a daily routine and stick to it if possible, same time, bed, bottle/tit beforehand, dark room with a dim nightlight, a/c set to 25 day and night in the bedroom and a bit of background white noise to drown out the rest of the sounds in the house.
As has been said, every kid is different and what works for one may not for another
Good luck! Is not easy mate but one way or another we all seem to get through it. It is all worth it in the long run

hainess · « **Reply #7 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:28:34 PM »

Don Williams.
Nice and quiet and slept with a smile.

Rod
.

paceman · « **Reply #8 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:31:43 PM »

Quote from: D4D on January 17, 2015, 06:01:49 PM

Have a read of the book 'Save our Sleep' it worked a treat for us. You basically need to be surgical with routine.

Sometimes they just won't sleep. Worse thing you can do is sleep with them or have them in your own bed.

+1000 for this.

this book is excellent.

Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback · « **Reply #9 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:39:09 PM »

Quote from: Tim - Stratford on January 17, 2015, 06:24:05 PM

I'm definitely not an expert but with our 2 who were both not great sleepers. A drive in the car along a dirt road always got good results or a walk in the pram was pretty good also & you get some time out of the house. I hope this helps you & good luck!

Sarah

Car and pram work well untill we stop :-) plus I'm worried I'll fall asleep while I'm driving

Rumpig · « **Reply #10 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:54:52 PM »

Been a few years for us now with little ones, but I used to tell friends the first 7 weeks of a new bub is the hardest, especially when it's your first child.... you really have very little idea what your doing. It'll take time to work out what works best for you and your child, so don't get too down on yourselves. I don't miss those sleepless nights walking laps up and down our hallway trying to get our baby back to sleep, but eventually we worked out what was best for our child and they became great sleepers. Sorry can't be of any real help for you though

xcvator · « **Reply #11 on:** January 17, 2015, 06:55:54 PM »

Fenergan on the dummy or 1/2 teaspoon of brandy in a warm bottle of milk

Mik01 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 17, 2015, 07:18:31 PM »

Quote from: Rumpig on January 17, 2015, 06:54:52 PM

Been a few years for us now with little ones, but I used to tell friends the first 7 weeks of a new bub is the hardest, especially when it's your first child.... you really have very little idea what your doing. It'll take time to work out what works best for you and your child, so don't get too down on yourselves. I don't miss those sleepless nights walking laps up and down our hallway trying to get our baby back to sleep, but eventually we worked out what was best for our child and they became great sleepers. Sorry can't be of any real help for you though

This is good advice.
We have 3 kids,thankfully now out of that stage, but there will always be something they won't do which will drive you nuts (youngest still wets her pants rather than go to toilet!).

You have no idea when it's your first, as rum pig says. It will work itself out mate.
Routine, routine, routine is the best advice we ever got, and it works. In this situation, you just tough it out if there's no medial issues, or wind etc. sure you're burping it properly after a feed?

There is a forum called bub hub - my wife used it a lot. Lots of women with lots of advice. Worth checking out. Welcome to parenting!!!

gronk · « **Reply #13 on:** January 17, 2015, 07:37:09 PM »

Quote from: Mik01 on January 17, 2015, 07:18:31 PM

There is a forum called bub hub - my wife used it a lot. Lots of women with lots of advice. Worth checking out. Welcome to parenting!!!

This sort of thing can be priceless for baby problems....

Both of our kids were sleeping 11 hrs a night after only 2 weeks old......but don't ask me for a sure fire solution...just a bit of luck I think ?

Only thing I suggested we do was to not feed bubs during the night.....don't ask me why, just thought it was a good idea at the time....maybe if they didn't get a feed, they wouldn't wake up ??...worked after a week of trying !!......now this solution was me /us being selfish and wanting our sleep, but it worked and to this day they are both heavy/long sleepers ( 30 and 27 yrs old )

We...like heaps of others didn't have a clue about parenting, but at least these days there is the internet and the above help groups etc !!

lyn4680 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 17, 2015, 08:14:14 PM »

+10 for bubhub. As with anywhere else tho, you will need to filter our some of the crap.

To be honest, at his age, I wouldn't be too anti sleep aid. There was a 2 month period where my little one would only sleep during the day if he was snuggled into me. I held out doing it as long as I could because I didn't want to start bad habits but once I caved I found it led to better night sleeping too, I wish I'd started doing it earlier (plus I got to catch up on a whole heap of TV shows

)

When I felt it was time for him to sleep on his own I was more rested and mentally prepared to deal with it then when he was 2mths old and it all went quite smoothly. After this I fully believe in the 4th trimester - makes a lot of sense to me.

I know I haven't offered much advice, (un)fortunately each Bub's different and what works for one may not work for the other.

I hope he settles for you shortly and you get to enjoy your time with the little man

lyn4680 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 17, 2015, 08:17:14 PM »

Oh, and I should have started off with congratulations on your little man...

Pog · « **Reply #16 on:** January 17, 2015, 08:21:53 PM »

Quote from: D4D on January 17, 2015, 06:01:49 PM

Have a read of the book 'Save our Sleep' it worked a treat for us.

X 2,000

It worked for us too. I only read the first 1/3rd of the book but that was enough..

Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback · « **Reply #17 on:** January 17, 2015, 08:38:31 PM »

Thanks for all the replies. Things that stick out are the routine. We've been trying something different almost every night.

Put wife onto the sleep book and she downloaded a sample copy of it. Will find a copy of it tomorrow.

Hoping for a better night tonight.

heath74 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 17, 2015, 09:11:30 PM »

Number 1 thing is hang in there, we had worlds worst sleeper first followed by worlds best sleeper second, for no apparent reason.

Best advice I can give is don't worry about what any book, expert, parent, grand parent or self appointed guru says. I remember the sleep school nurse saying to my wife, "I'm not sure we can help you, but you've got a very strong willed little person there." I was wondering what to do with my hysterically crying wife at this point.

However at some point we threw out all of the techniques, at about 17 months of age, we gave up, as my wife was now 7 months pregnant, and took him in with us. SHOCK HORROR we slept with our child. ( as mankind has done for thousands of years) suddenly we all slept well. " but you'll never break that" said all of the experts, at age 4 by chance we put our boys in the same room, and 6 years latter all is well. We have had them on their own now for 12 months.
So my point, mate, is hang in there, there is no rule that works for every child. Do what you need, it will be ok. Ignore the parents bragging about their kids sleeping 23 hours a day, and how this somehow makes them super parents.
Hang in there, and obviously have all of the medical checks for reflux and the like.

vicandug · « **Reply #19 on:** January 17, 2015, 09:22:33 PM »

Well, for my 20c worth.
1. Relax. Baby will sense if you are anxious, tense or whatever and will react the same.
2. Routine. Babies take a while to get into a routine but its better for everyone in the long run. I always bathed mine just before their last feed of the day to relax them.
3. If he has reflux raise the end of the bed a little. Not sure if it actually helps but have heard thats what you do.
4. Listen to the advice that I and others may give you and select what you think might apply to you. Every baby is different, just as every person is. I am big on cuddles for babies and little kids. I don't think they can have to many.

In time your baby will get better at sleeping. I had one that was 10 months old before he slept any longer than an hour and then I think he only slept because thats when he started walking. He would sleep for an hour, scream for an hour 24/7.

He is now 31 and we both survived. I even had 2 more kids so he didn't even put me off.

It will get better. Your baby will grow up way to fast. Enjoy every moment.

Vicki

steppenwolf · « **Reply #20 on:** January 17, 2015, 10:48:08 PM »

Quote from: vicandug on January 17, 2015, 09:22:33 PM

Well, for my 20c worth.
1. Relax. Baby will sense if you are anxious, tense or whatever and will react the same.
2. Routine. Babies take a while to get into a routine but its better for everyone in the long run. I always bathed mine just before their last feed of the day to relax them.
3. If he has reflux raise the end of the bed a little. Not sure if it actually helps but have heard thats what you do.
4. Listen to the advice that I and others may give you and select what you think might apply to you. Every baby is different, just as every person is. I am big on cuddles for babies and little kids. I don't think they can have to many.

In time your baby will get better at sleeping. I had one that was 10 months old before he slept any longer than an hour and then I think he only slept because thats when he started walking. He would sleep for an hour, scream for an hour 24/7.

He is now 31 and we both survived. I even had 2 more kids so he didn't even put me off.

It will get better. Your baby will grow up way to fast. Enjoy every moment.

Vicki

Absolutely spot on. My, doesn't their fragility and helplessness freak you out?

Not to mention all those "helpers" whose comments are subtexted "Now, you're making a hopeless mess of this, just blah blah blah ..."

Vicki had the order totally correct.

Number one is RELAX
Number two is ROUTINE
Reflux? My six-foot-four great ox of a nephew had reflux for a little while. Now he's in the Obelix class as far as intake.
Choose what suits. Don't forget that lots of parenting advice has been varnished with Miraculous Transformatory Hindsight Spray.

My kids? Born in '78, '80 and '83.

Our worries over them? About the same .... Huge, but NOTHING like the joys.

steppenwolf · « **Reply #21 on:** January 17, 2015, 10:56:01 PM »

Oh, and one bit of Camping With The Little Lord advice:

IF you have a caravan, AND he's at the potty training stage, take it from one who knows that it's NOT a good idea to let him sit on the potty in the open caravan door with his back to the outside.

The results when he leans back in triumph after a job well done are dismal over a remarkably wide area. I believe there's a bit of the camping area at Girraween still roped off ......

MDS69 · « **Reply #22 on:** January 17, 2015, 11:11:58 PM »

All of us know what you are going through but then none of us do because we aren't there with your child right now.
There is alot of good advise and suggestions above but that is all it is and unfortunately you will need a little trial and error to find what works for you and your child. We had a reflux baby and as mentioned above raising the head end of the bed around 3" may help.
If it all gets too much put the baby down somewhere safe like in its bed and walk away. It won't go anywhere.
Tressillians and Karatani (spelling) are great organisations you can call anytime of the day or night. Google them.

bergersau · « **Reply #23 on:** January 17, 2015, 11:44:50 PM »

We found one of our kids had trouble sleeping st that age also.
I saw a theory that they are coming to terms with the extra stimulation that they get being out on the world so to speak.
The suggestion was to remove as much external stimulation from baby as possible when it was time to sleep. No talking, dim light, no mobiles, off shy other distractions, face them to wards the wall if necessary. Then stay quite, if baby is getting upset, a gentle touch to reassure, but minimal stimulation.
They need to learn how to tune out in order to sleep.

Worked for us.

Also, for your sanity.
View http://vimeo.com/27019462
CAUTION NSFW CONTAINS PROFANITY.

nab · « **Reply #24 on:** January 17, 2015, 11:51:08 PM »

My first 2 slept like logs from about 2 months but the third was a bugger!! Tried all the same stuff but no luck. Then about 6-7? months old something changed(if we knew what it was we would tell ya haha) and a week later she was sleeping through most of the night.

My point is as everyone else says is who knows what will work. Someone gave me great advice which was, ironically, don't listen to anyone's advice. Unless they have YOUR baby in YOUR situation they have no idea what you are going through. By all means try different things but don't get down if things don't go the way people say they should.

Always remember, when people tell you the average baby sleeps x hours a night, it is just an average. Averages are made up from extremes at either end of the scale and your bub could be at the extreme end! You just won't know it until they grow out of it haha

Congrats and good luck!!!

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Author Topic: Parenting Question (Read 15655 times)