Parenting Question

[Mik01]

Well, for my 20c worth.
1.  Relax.  Baby will sense if you are anxious, tense or whatever and will react the same.
2.  Routine.  Babies take a while to get into a routine but its better for everyone in the long run.  I always bathed mine just before their last feed of the day to relax them.
3.  If he has reflux raise the end of the bed a little.  Not sure if it actually helps but have heard thats what you do.
4.  Listen to the advice that I and others may give you and select what you think might apply to you.  Every baby is different, just as every person is.  I am big on cuddles for babies and little kids.  I don't think they can have to many.

In time your baby will get better at sleeping.  I had one that was 10 months old before he slept any longer than an hour and then I think he only slept because thats when he started walking.  He would sleep for an hour, scream for an hour 24/7.

He is now 31 and we both survived.  I even had 2 more kids so he didn't even put me off.

It will get better.  Your baby will grow up way to fast.  Enjoy every moment. 

Vicki

On the subject of relaxing, wife and I used a technique to calm ourselves and baby - when putting to bed, control your breathing, as apparently baby imitates (or senses if you are anxious, like Vicki says).
Concentrate on the breathing, slow and steady, rhythmic, while touching/cuddling baby - dunno if it worked by itself, but it was a calming technique for all of us!
But it must be said that it's the worst time for all when you have limited sleep - I would probably say 'whatever works' right now, just so you and your wife can function. But it will pass mate. Good luck

[fishfinder]

do you jump up and check on the baby as soon as it starts crying if so try letting it cry for a while they wear them selves out and fall to sleep eventually - not saying all babies are the same as that is far from correct but that is what we did with our 14 children - and do not take advice from the inlaws they just tend to take over

[D4D]

... but that is what we did with our 14 children

 

I know it gets cold in Tassie, but 14 kids

[fishfinder]

I know it gets cold in Tassie, but 14 kids

stand corrected that is the head count

[gronk]

stand corrected that is the head count

Even so....7 kids is pretty good mate !!!   

[dazzler]

Does anyone have any tips for getting their children to sleep? I'm not holding out much hope and feel we'll just have to tough it out but maybe there's something we haven't tried.

We have four and our first was similar to yours.

These are our tips that worked for the next three.

1. Punch anyone in the head who says "breast is best".  Hit those fundamentalist loonies right between the eyes (or just say thank you and move on).  If bub is attached to the breast as well as dad is then life is great.  If not it is the greatest cause of distress in mothers and bubs there is.  If the little fella is not getting enough milk get him on the bottle asap.  Plus you can share the feeding!.  Mum will get crap from every other mother around as its their prehistoric urge to prove they are the best mother in the clan but she needs to tell em to butt out.  This truly brings out the bitch in most women.  "Oh, I loved it when my nipples dripped blood, don't you"

2. When they are born don't let anyone but mum hold him till you get him settled at home.  No grandparents, no friends or family.  Get the nurse to put up a sign saying only 'mother to hold baby" and make up some bs as to why - low blood sats, needs rest etc.  I never really believed that babies needed to bond with mum but bloody hell it made our life so much easier with the next three.  Once we were home if the little fella was upset I would hand him to mum and instantly they would calm down.  This is a hard one as every tom dick and mary thinks its their right to have their 'little cuddle" and sadly that selfish desire does nothing for the littlie and makes your life a misery when you get home.

3. Wrap or swaddle them tight.  Real tight.  I always felt like I was going to crush the little fella but heck it works.  They feel nice and snug and safe.

4. Look at a natures nest style of baby hammock to sleep in.  They are on a big spring so if they stir you can 'bounce' them and they tend to go back to sleep.  Once they get a bit bigger the actually bounce themselves back to sleep.  Here is a link;
http://www.babyhammocks.com/baby-hammocks 
I think they are good for sids as well.

And finally;

5. Dont creep around quietly.  Whatever noise normally goes on, unless you live in a foundry, keep it up.  They get used to and actually know everything is okay because nothing changes.

At least these are what we found worked. Our last two slept through all night at two weeks.

(Remember to punch those 'breast is best" bitches hard in the head.     )

Congrats!

[Murph]

I could have written your post 27 yrs ago !!!  Our second boy was just the same . He was lactose intolerant and was much better when we switched to prosobe soy powder but by that stage the bad habits had been learned ! Then the colic kicked in ! Was a handful till he was able to crawl

[fishfinder]

Even so....7 kids is pretty good mate !!!   

having 7 kids would drive a man to drink so maybe my vision is compromised 

[fishfinder]

We have four and our first was similar to yours.

These are our tips that worked for the next three.

1. Punch anyone in the head who says "breast is best".  Hit those fundamentalist loonies right between the eyes (or just say thank you and move on).  If bub is attached to the breast as well as dad is then life is great.  If not it is the greatest cause of distress in mothers and bubs there is.  If the little fella is not getting enough milk get him on the bottle asap.  Plus you can share the feeding!.  Mum will get crap from every other mother around as its their prehistoric urge to prove they are the best mother in the clan but she needs to tell em to butt out.  This truly brings out the bitch in most women.  "Oh, I loved it when my nipples dripped blood, don't you"

2. When they are born don't let anyone but mum hold him till you get him settled at home.  No grandparents, no friends or family.  Get the nurse to put up a sign saying only 'mother to hold baby" and make up some bs as to why - low blood sats, needs rest etc.  I never really believed that babies needed to bond with mum but bloody hell it made our life so much easier with the next three.  Once we were home if the little fella was upset I would hand him to mum and instantly they would calm down.  This is a hard one as every tom dick and mary thinks its their right to have their 'little cuddle" and sadly that selfish desire does nothing for the littlie and makes your life a misery when you get home.

3. Wrap or swaddle them tight.  Real tight.  I always felt like I was going to crush the little fella but heck it works.  They feel nice and snug and safe.

4. Look at a natures nest style of baby hammock to sleep in.  They are on a big spring so if they stir you can 'bounce' them and they tend to go back to sleep.  Once they get a bit bigger the actually bounce themselves back to sleep.  Here is a link;
http://www.babyhammocks.com/baby-hammocks 
I think they are good for sids as well.

And finally;

5. Dont creep around quietly.  Whatever noise normally goes on, unless you live in a foundry, keep it up.  They get used to and actually know everything is okay because nothing changes.

At least these are what we found worked. Our last two slept through all night at two weeks.

(Remember to punch those 'breast is best" bitches hard in the head.     )

Congrats!

me thinks a can of worms may be opened - me thinks a big can of worms may have been opened
but the rest I think you kept those cans sealed

[dazzler]

Granted it was three years ago but at that time no child had reportedly been lost to sids using the hammock style of bed.  Has there been a change to this advice?

Not sure why everyone being stopped from playing pass the parcel with a newborn would open a can of worms.  Unless of course there are people out there that value their wants over that of a mother.  Its a big world so I suppose there are all sorts of views.   Mine is just one so if it's not what you like then ignore it.

Simple. 

[firefox]

i think everyone's comments here are valid. I can only share with you "our" experiences with our two. Which was a while ago, (currently 10 and 12).

Our two were bottle feed from the start. Sorry but i'm a risk person and after seeking so much advice and information there was nothing that could push us to not! (and ten years later get told they are both well behaved etc, and pretty smart)..

Both our children had what they called silent reflux. This is a huge issue (over normal reflux) as normally the bub will chuck! (and you can tell) but with silent reflux as soon as you put them down (couple of minutes) and they just have it come up a little and burn the throat.

As per some suggestions we used to put a pillow under one end of the cot. (creates an angle) this helped but didn't solve the problem. Mrs Firefox even took the first one to sleep school (the entire controlled crying etc, which i believe does work, but not with silent reflux)..

Anyhow i've given this TIP to many people and they have tried it and it does work (especially if the bub has reflux).. We spent $$$$$$ money seeing a specialist, he took one look and said as soon as the feeding is finished (and i mean immediately) give the bub 2ml of Mylanta (yes the green bottle stuff) it does exactly what it does for adults. You can only give a small amount but thats all the need. (we used to have syringe with 2ml in it) as they got older increased to 5ml (when my son was drinking about 200ml in a feed). OMG! what a difference after 2 sleep cycles the kids were sleeping through the night! What a difference it made to our life.

Anyhow i don't know if thats the problems with your's, but it certainly doesn't hurt to try. Stick with it, alot of doctors (and nurses and other people) will tell you to "just deal with it" or thats a baby. It's not really true. I am sure if you sit down and think and try different things something you will find will work specifically for your case. Take all the advise onboard and try different things.

Hopefully someone will give some advice that works..


BTW, after 10 years it goes the other way! I can't get my daughter out of bed before 9AM! Drives me nuts.

[fishfinder]

from experience of knowing some people that practiced not passing the bundle of joy around in the hospital suffered from social etiquette but that was just from my personal experience - sorry from drifting slightly off topic

[fridayman]

I feel your pain. Our son had some health issues at birth which caused lots of screaming and no sleep for the first 3 months. If the baby isn't sleeping try and take turns to get some sleep - lack of sleep is the enemy, not each other (or the baby).

On the whole routine thing I would add that lots of people told us to get into a routine asap, so for a few weeks we were trying our hardest to set a routine for the little chap. We had zero success and lots of frustration and even anger (we had a silent agreement that either of us could just walk away for a little while if it got too much). The mistake that we made at first was trying to impose a routine on him, rather than figuring out what his routine was and then sticking to it. Once we did the latter our lives changed. The routine then changed every 6 or so months afterward, but we would soon figure out the new routine and everything would be golden again.

[V8CRSA]

Dazzler makes some good points above, if it's on the tit make sure there is enough milk coming through.
When brought our sone home for the 1st 3 days he wouldn't sleep just scream and cry, the child health nurse dropped in and suggested we give him a bottle of formula and after a good drink he started to sleep normally, maybe just something to check ?

And like others have said, make plenty of noise around them, routine and don't drop everything to run to them when they wake they will learn to get back to sleep.

Good luck,

[Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback]

Thanks for all the valued advice.

We had a better night last night. He slept for 2 hours at a time between feeds. Unfortunately it was on a pillow on the lounge. Not very safe but we slept on the floor next to keep an eye on him.

We found the Save our Sleep book today and we are starting to put the plan in action. So far he's been asleep in his bassinet for over and hour. Now for us that's almost unheard of. My wife Mandy wrote all the tips and schedule on the mirror so I can do the same as her.

Fingers crossed for some steady improvement :-)

[The punter]

Wire coat hangars on carpet, roll pram back an forth over them, slight rumble sends them off, worked every time

[Gunsrunner]

Congratulations 
Look after each other! It's amazing how much work(and Joy) it is for anyone to create a human.
Don't stress, relax and work as a team, listen and react to the signs, you will work out what to do.
Make sure you are both working together and help each other(Time share).
Yes try all this stuff and more, but do it together.
Most of all, watch them grow and enjoy it. It only happens once. Or 7 times lol
OH and Go Camping hahaha.

[noel_w]

Our first would sleep through a WW1 battle.
Our second suffered from extreme reflux and colic. This was 19 yrs ago so things may have changed.


Reflux: Best thing we did was put the top end of his cot up on a stand so it was at 45 degrees tilting downwards. We bought a sleeping bag doovey thing that supported him while he slept. It had some belts attached to it that tied up to the top of the cot. On top of that we used huge amounts of Zantac, peppermint oil and other concoctions I can't remember. Putting his bed up so he has head up while sleeping worked wonders and we suffered when he slept on a flat surface as the reflux would come up burning his throat. He also had projectile vomiting which was interesting having a dark blue carpet


Colic: Halfway between the bellybutton and the pointy bit of the hipbone (RHS) there is a point in the belly where for the want of a better word is a valve. I found if I gently massaged that point (in clockwise) circular motion it would release the gas buildup and 10 mins later a huge fart and instant sleep (for both of us). Worked 9 out of 10 times with our young fella.


Just saying though as every kid will be different. It took us a long time to work all that out. If I can help any new parent out I will be happy.

[DannyG]

I found locking them in the laundry with some water and putting ear plugs in my ears worked best for me

[poidda]

X 2,000

It worked for us too. I only read the first 1/3rd of the book but that was enough..

Yep, another vote for this book as well.  We had plenty of friends who put us onto this style of routine and it worked perfectly for our two kids.  It's not for everyone and the first week can pull at the heart strings when you just have to let them cry in bed, but in the long run when you know you'll get some sleep at night it's well worth it.

Good luck!

[tk421]

I feel for you.  #1 was a bad sleeper for the first months weeks. I thought I would die. I have never been so tired and was ready to kill anyone who even said hello to me.

You've had lots of advice here - Kids are all different best thing to do is find what works for you.... Try something, stick at it for a week, then try something else. You'll get it eventually. But you'll have lots of trip ups along the way. 

Our 3 kids have all been different but the common theme has been consistency. What works for us: All were swaddled for a few months . General rule for us  before long night sleep bath, bottle, bed at about 7pm, and we didn't try and enforce sleeping until about 2 months old.  From then one we left them to cry for 4 minutes, then pat/resettle. After 3 attempts get them up if not asleep.  We've never been the ones for the 'dream feed' for all of ours, but works for some. Try not to be too quiet whilst sleeping so they get used to noise. My cousins insisted on absolute quiet for his first. Worked well until second came along and wasn't quiet

#1 was a bad sleeper for the first couple of weeks. Then Mid wife pointed out that we weren't burping them correctly. They became a great sleeper  for a month and then went through a period of not sleeping more than an hour for 1.5 months. He was breast fed, but it turns out he wasn't getting enough as he wasn't putting on weight. So we started supplementing the night feed with a bottle  - bang he slept right through.  Then we discovered the lactose intolerance... He is a very heavy sleeper now is, but doesn't' like going to sleep.

#2 - lasted longer on mum's milk, slept like a log from the day he was born. Went straight to onto soy milk formula. No issues but was a lighter sleeper than #1 . He did sleep through from a young age 3 mths or so. Still loves his sleep.

#3 - from the day she was born has refused to fall asleep on her back. Third day at home we put her to sleep on her front unswaddled- bang she slept like a baby  . Yes its against SIDS advice but its the only way she would sleep. Went to mixed feeding after 4 weeks. At 11mths still wakes up once or twice a night 3 days a week. Goes back to bed after a half or full bottle. Last night - 1.5 bottles.

Good luck!

[Vitara_JaycoSwift_Outback]

Thanks again for all the words of advice and encouragement. We had our first night using the Save our Sleep techniques. It made a massive difference. Today has been stress free and we have had some time to ourselves while he's been sleeping. Last night when we he would cry it went to hysterical cries but we left him the 4 mins and with a quick nurse he calmed down and went back in the bassinet. Today when he has stired after the 4mins we go in, quick pat on the tummy and pop his dummy in (spits it after a couple of minutes) and he drifts back off.

Hoping this will continue.

Can't thank everyone enough :-)

[MDS69]

Thanks again for all the words of advice and encouragement. We had our first night using the Save our Sleep techniques. It made a massive difference. Today has been stress free and we have had some time to ourselves while he's been sleeping. Last night when we he would cry it went to hysterical cries but we left him the 4 mins and with a quick nurse he calmed down and went back in the bassinet. Today when he has stired after the 4mins we go in, quick pat on the tummy and pop his dummy in (spits it after a couple of minutes) and he drifts back off.

Hoping this will continue.

Can't thank everyone enough :-)

Great news. All this is baby steps pardon the pun

[fishfinder]

I found locking them in the laundry with some water and putting ear plugs in my ears worked best for me

lol do you put them in for the full cycle ?

[whatsa]

One thing that's good to figure out early is their crying
theres "I want" crying and bloody murder crying.
The first should be mostly ignored especially at bedtime.

They are far smarter than you think and will easily have you running in and out all night long as a bit of company is, well, nice.
It may take a week but they figure it out and just go to sleep.