I think the first thing you need to accept is that it takes a little time to set up, when you have accepted it, it will go up faster each time.
I think the key to gettting it set up quicker is a little refinement to the process each time you do it, until you have a process worked out for you and your wife to rip thru it.
Ive just done 7 odd weeks on the road with my 2 kids, 7, and 3, and other swaggers on the cape trip, we had occasions were wouldn't get into camp until late arvo and the race would be on, so you can imagine 8 odd CT going for it.
Don't rush the set up initially take your time and develop a procedure that works, and while it might sound corney to develop a procedure, if you stop and think about it that's what we are doing while setting up.
The other area to refine is what you need for the overnight stop, but also were it is in your CT, I went with minimal gear for an overnighter, sometimes we would compromise on tables and chairs for the kids to a seat for them, maybe bugger all lighting gets set up etc, also for us we wouldn't set up the awning, just to much extra stuffing about for an overnight stop, think about how your CT is set up, have it set up in such a way that you have the overnight stuff at your finger tips, which is really no different to setting up for an extended stay, again this needs to be developed by going camping and seeing what works.
The other thing is get the kids involved if you can, it serves 2 purposes, 1 keeps them busy and gives them a focus, which gets them from under your feet, 2 whilst they maybe little and not able to set up larger items, anything they can do is a help to you and your wife, which helps set up a touch quicker.
You'll be right in any event, have fun.
Swanny