Love my kids to bits, they're both sons, 31 & 29. The youngest & I sadly don't have a very good relationship, this might change when he loses the chips on his shoulders.
I recall when they were teenagers, the old bloke in the house next door, a day or so after we moved in, telling me that my boys were pouring petrol in the gutter and setting it alight.
The little angels looked angelically at me as they shook their heads, and I told the old fellah, I didn't think MY boys would do something like THAT. Only to find out half an hour later that they had!
Then another time, mother in bed not feeling well, boys (12 & 10) & I watching Bill Cosby's Ghost Dad, and Mstr 12 says midway through, "hey dad, how come some penises look different to others?"