Most of us have ranted over national sparks for various things over the years and on the whole I consider most rangers and employees of the organisation pretty fair, hard working and just trying to do their job.
the hierachy however, well thats been debated and ranted at length..............
The time has come now to concede. They are right..
To set the scene - I went along to Newnes in the Wolgan Valley for the weekend. Just me, another family and 75,000 other campers doing the obligatory long weekend thing.........
Yes I know I shouldn't go on a long weekend etc etc, but the jayco was getting itchy wheels, and I needed some fresh air.
Off we trundled over the mountains and set up camp across the river on the ruins side.
National parks have kept this historic area open and lo and behold you can even drive really close to the ruins and don't have to back pack bare foot through weeds for 4 days to see it.
A clean toilet with good quality paper was provided and signs and information was abundant.
Good large campgrounds with designated fire pits etc.
Wow. close to Sydney, good facilities, well maintained, abundant historic and cultural value in one of the prettiest valleys in the world. And national parks let us use it, look at it and enjoy it.
Of course this leads to Numpty number 1:
Just because its raining, muddy and you have a big engine, does it means you have to do a burnout everywhere you go?
I realise it must justify your inadequate apendage to be able to do a burnout in mud with a V8 ( go you hero!!!) but did Darwin just miss you or something? You're a tool. Get a life.
Then of course we met numpty number 2:
Yes I realise you spent $2200 on your free flowing mandrel bent 3" exhaust, and it may be fully sick in a maccas car park, but you're in a national park where people have gone for relaxation and peace. Where in any magazine, camp book or DVD does it suggest that revving your crappy little diesel 3.0l to 3500rpm is in any way enjoyable by the surrounding people?
Even once or twice to impress and show off, only serves to show your a w@nk3r, but consistenly and every time you drove the 45 metres to the toilet was it necessary to use half the gulf oil reserves to tell everyone you've got a big one??? You knob.
Numpty number 3:
Well they came in the form of the village idiots who liked to dress in camo and drag half a tree through the bush past the numerous signs indicating to stick to the tracks. I guess it was only flora you were destroying and you've probably got plenty of that back in the swamp!!!! Them there city folk with only one head and five fingers, just don't understand how it is in the swamp........
In your defence, I suppose you needed a raging bushfire you keep both your brain cells warm.
Numpty number 4:
Oh I didn't realise you were supposed to drive across the creek - not up it.....
If national parks didn't want you driving along the creek bed, they should have signposted every metre along the creek.
Thankfully you probably don't have job so it's not your tax money that would be used to erect said signs.... Numbskull.
Numpty number 5:
Just because the sign says no collecting firewood or chainsaws in NP's doesn't actually mean it.
What it means, is that other people can't do that, but I'm allowed. Cos I'm special!!!
No you're just an id1ot. You keep going brother, rules are only for other people. Perhaps someday someone will ignore the no shooting sign and use your dumb @5s as a target.
Then of course my favourite - the numpty family:
After the kids had buried the entry to the wombat hole my kids asked them not to as it was a wombats home. Of course that was met the displeasurable remarks one could expect from the offspring of parents who also happen to be brother and sister!
I then stepped in and asked the kids not to do that as it was both destructive and harmful to the wombat. I probably should have explained it to my left boot as I believe it has a higher IQ.
We dug open the entrance again and went to explore the ruins that National Parks have let us view and enjoy. What an experience. A great walk, and a great day.
We returned back to camp to see the hillbilly clan closing up the same damn wombat hole as before. Mum and dad watching while they did it.
Thankfully for all, my wife was there to stop me putting a set of BFG's across their fat little backsides and burying them......Oh how I wanted to though
In my weak as VB defence I did take photos of them doing it and their rego which I will duly forward to national parks.
Now after meeting all these darwinian candidates I accept the fact that they are a small minority of the good people there enjoying the place, but now I accept National Parks decision to close these places. Its idiot factor at work, and how much is enough?
I concede they are fighting a losing battle.
The gene pool needs some serious chlorination!!!!
In absolute embarrising disgust,
Brian
