MySwag.org The Off-road Camper Trailer Forum
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Jeepers Creepers on October 10, 2012, 04:39:24 PM
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Its our 14 year wedding anniversary today.
I jumped outta bed at 5am this mornin, bellowed to her..... happy anniversary and the bitch burst into tears.
yeah, i got her a present. when we were on Fraser last month, she was saying how quiet it was, peaceful, relaxing etc.
I knew then, the perfect gift, so i got her an extra ironing board to use for when we are away. She didn't like that... :-[
So, i surprised her with 2 hours in a beauty salon and all she got for her two hours was a quote.
Just tried to ring the Marina Bar and Grille for a feed, but they're shut tonight.
I asked her to knock out some grub, she didn't like that idea, so now i have to put on my big boy pants and take her out to the local Country Club.
Lucky for me, its the cheap roast night tonight and I've booked us in for the 5;30 early sitting, because if they have pork, all the oldies can't eat the crackling with the false teeth, so we score an extra bit on the plate.
Two cheaper roasts, a jug of water and two straws and when we get home, she'll get ice cream and cottee's topping.
Nothings too good for my special girl.
If she's a really good girl, there might be some loving between the sheets later on too.
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Good luck with your plan Jeepers...let us know how it all works out for you!
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What hospital do you expect to be in so we can visit????
;D ;D ;D
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You clearly have a way with the ladies........... ;D ;D
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Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em...
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Thought this thread may have been about Juliar Gillard
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If she's a really good girl, there might be some loving between the sheets later on too.
:worthles: :P
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Are the single life. The only decision is really what I want for tea, what I want to drink, what I want to watch on tv, where I want to go for holidays, when I want to make the bed, etc
Life could not be better ;D
Mark
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Good on you Jeepers.. mate does your wife see your posts..... ;D
My wife thinks I am having an affair.... i take the bin out more than her....
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Don't spoil her to much JC she might expect it next year :)
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Ahh Jeepers, you old smoothie you!! Don't forget to splash on a bit of Blue Stratos or some Faberge, it may help to mask the odour of freshly cut grass >:D ;D ;D Oh, and congratulations too mate :cup:
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Well, what a night..... :D
At the club, i gave $5.00 to play on the pokies, so she was really happy with her dinner out, and she showed it. :cup:
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Jeepers, you are d man. BUT, I hope you have the top level of hospital cover. I haven't seen any female replies to this thread yet.
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Jeepers, you are d man. BUT, I hope you have the top level of hospital cover. I haven't seen any female replies to this thread yet.
They are discussing with JCs wife what to do.
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Well, what a night..... :D
At the club, i gave $5.00 to play on the pokies, so she was really happy with her dinner out, and she showed it. :cup:
Way to much that's just making it hard for all us blokes ;D
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... --- ... ... --- ... ... --- ... ... --- ...
Kit_e ;D
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;D
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;D
Tee Hee (I had to Google it.)
Lima Oscar Lima.
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"If she's a really good girl, there might be some loving between the sheets later on too."
Quite possibly yes, but it won't involve you. :laugh:
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"If she's a really good girl, there might be some loving between the sheets later on too."
Quite possibly yes, but it won't involve you. :laugh:
So did you get any or do you have to wait untill your birthday
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Well, what a night..... :D
At the club, i gave $5.00 to play on the pokies, so she was really happy with her dinner out, and she showed it. :cup:
Did you win a meat tray?
Nice course.
Rod
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This thread is getting worse. Hate to think what the end result is going to be.
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;D
Huh??
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(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b5/International_Morse_Code.svg/450px-International_Morse_Code.svg.png)
Kit_e
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My head hurts, whats it say
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My head hurts, whats it say
It's in Patr80l's reply...... ;D
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Oh yeah.
I'm looking at Lima Oscar Limo thinking, what the hell and then one of the little timber gears in my big block head fell off its little axle and i worked it out.
And i'm the smart one in the family.
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And i'm the smart one in the family.
Now we KNOW SWMBO does not rad the forum :D
Bunyip
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Yep.
But don't worry, we'll catch up at some time at big swag do and you can all dob me in when ya meet her.
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JC,
What happens in the forum, stays in the forum :D
Bunyip
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Beware the wife who *smiles*, *chuckles*, *politely nods* and secretly plots paybacks...
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Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em...
I dunno D4D. Just one mouse click away if I take your sig right ;D
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It is sometimes nice to be partly deaf. Sorry dear I didn't hear you (selective hearing).
And more you give them, the more they want.
Bert
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My head hurts, whats it say
I think for Hauler it's meant to be ... --- ... because the stoopid earthling can't comprehend Venusian space travellers. You've just got to learn how to decipher their alien space rays among other less pressing matters-
http://www.myswag.org/index.php?topic=25432.0 (http://www.myswag.org/index.php?topic=25432.0)
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Bought a book for the girlie the other day about he footy team which she reveres and I had to prompt her to say thanks. Sheesh!
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JC,
What happens in the forum, stays in the forum :D
Bunyip
But if the missus, Julia, Tania, Penny and Jenny ever find out, just remember it's all Tony Abbott's fault! :angel:
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And the quintessential earthling reference for deciphering alien space rays is-
http://cgibin.rcn.com/fillmore.dnai/communication.html (http://cgibin.rcn.com/fillmore.dnai/communication.html)
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And the quintessential earthling reference for deciphering alien space rays is-
http://cgibin.rcn.com/fillmore.dnai/communication.html (http://cgibin.rcn.com/fillmore.dnai/communication.html)
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Kit_e
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Gee this thread could be locked ;D
Mark
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Well done JC, it was ours on the 3rd (20yrs up, should be out on good behavior I reckon ;D ;D). I let the old bear follow me around in BCF & Fishing Tackle Aus >:D >:D, had to get some return for being in a bloody resort for 2 nights ( went to a mates hanging, errr, I mean wedding....) :cheers:
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Geez, the ol girls in a bit of trouble today.
She ended up with really bad burns on her back.
You see, she went in for her monthly back waxing (otherwise, she ends up looking like a yowie) and the young girl said, in stead of waxing, why don't we just laser the hair off your back.
Well, it went ok for a little while, but then the poor buggers back burst into flames. They reckon you could've toasted marshmellows at the peak of it.
I'm just so glad it didn't happen when they were doing around her lamington, otherwise sex would be off the menu for a day or two.
I'm hoping she heals quick too, otherwise i'm gunna have to go to fraser on my own.
OH SH1T, who will fetch me my beer, cook and clean.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
She better bloody get well then, thats all i can say.
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Is it cruel if I PMSL ;D ;D
Hope she's ok mate.
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Poor Mrs Jeepers! :o I'm kinda glad it wasn't her "lamington" either! Guess it's looking a bit like this at the moment and should for a little while to come? O0 I doubt she'll be up for lasering of that area any time soon.
I do hope you are keeping her in Cups Of Tea for the duration of her recovery.
Kit_e
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Bwahahahahahahahaha lamington.... Bwahahahahahaha
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l have not & will not contribute to this thread in any way shape or form ,,,,, but l an going to hide under the CT just in case this goes peared shaped . Something about Hell Hath No Fury etc etc . l might take the engal with a full load of cans as this could turn to S@#$ at a million miles an hour . Or not ,,,,,,,, DIVE DIVE ALL DIVE :'( :'( :'(
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Or not ,,,,,,,, DIVE DIVE ALL DIVE :'( :'( :'(
I'm with you Speewa.............................. nothing better than going down 8)
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I cooked dinner tonight, so it was a BBQ chook from the IGA.
I asked for one that had a good suntan...... ;D
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You're a baaaaaaaaaaad lad JC, :cup:
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Stuff me sideways, i wish women would leave things alone for once.
Got home today and wantrd to dress the blades on the big ride-on mower, so grab the angle grinder with the flap disc on it and yep, you guessed it, its worn out and rooted. >:(
Seems Mrs. Creepers been doing her toe nails with it again, which i don't mind, but don't put it back with a buggered disc.
Do ya toenails, fit a new flap disc and then, and only then, put the angle grinder away.
The upside is, her toe nails do look nice now, she slapped a bit of house paint on 'ém and she looks kinder sexy now.
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My head hurts, whats it say
http://morsecode.scphillips.com/jtranslator.html (http://morsecode.scphillips.com/jtranslator.html)
Copy, Paste, Play...
;D
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Stuff me sideways, i wish women would leave things alone for once.
Got home today and wantrd to dress the blades on the big ride-on mower, so grab the angle grinder with the flap disc on it and yep, you guessed it, its worn out and rooted. >:(
Seems Mrs. Creepers been doing her toe nails with it again, which i don't mind, but don't put it back with a buggered disc.
Do ya toenails, fit a new flap disc and then, and only then, put the angle grinder away.
The upside is, her toe nails do look nice now, she slapped a bit of house paint on 'ém and she looks kinder sexy now.
Starting to sound like Ruthy now Jeepers! :D
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The ol girl went to the doctor yesterday about her eye.
She's got a lazy eye, but now its spread to her whole body.
The lazy eye makes it fun to talk to her though, one eye looks at your while the other one spins around like a little dodgem car on steroids.
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Your just an old romantic JC! Make it dam hard for us average blokes! :cheers: Phil
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Bloody women......
Just got yelled at for putting a petrol soaked rag through the washing machine.
How else are you supposed to get the f*@+ing thing clean..... and she had the hide to call me a dickhead....how rude.
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My wife calls both my stepson and me dickhead, we never know who she is calling.
Why is it things never work both ways with women?
Bert
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started…
ahhh I dunno.....
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started…
ahhh I dunno.....
Dem dair is fightin words :):)
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Just got yelled at for putting a petrol soaked rag through the washing machine.
And then she goes and uses your best tenon saw to prune some tree branches??
"Why didn't you use the bush saw?"
"Its got big, nasty teeth!"
Grrrr!
Gota love'em though.
cheers
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I'd reckon this thread is the reason I am still single (as such) and live alone. Too much nit picking for me. ;D
Some advise from my mother: Don't sweat the small stuff ... don't hold a grudge ... remember only the times of joy ... and you'll have a successful relationship. She should know ... they've been married 43 years.
Kit_e
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I've been married for 24 years..... Just not all to the same person.... BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Oh bugger, just wet myself..... :-[
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I have been married 37 years next month and I still have not worked them out. When you think you are getting there they just shift the goal posts, so you have to start again. ???
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I'll say it again, "If it has Tits or Wheels it will give you trouble" :cheers:
BD
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Actually I am the luckiest person in the world. I have the most wonderful wife and I just worship the ground she walks on. Just love her so much.
Yes, she does read what I post..... ;D
Kevin
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Actually I am the luckiest person in the world. I have the most wonderful wife and I just worship the ground she walks on. Just love her so much.
Yes, she does read what I post..... >:D
Kevin
You suckjob >:D
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Actually I am the luckiest person in the world. I have the most wonderful wife and I just worship the ground she walks on. Just love her so much.
Yes, she does read what I post..... ;D
Kevin
Lucky Woman! I'm certainly jealous.
Kit_e
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have been watching this thread, and meer male page from the womens weekly years ago comes to mind, but have a grin from ear to ear, gosh it is good to see the love...... :)
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...
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I'll say it again, "If it has Tits or Wheels it will give you trouble" :cheers:
BD
I had a girlfriend once who had massive tits, she would constantly complain that a talked behind her back I said "honey but your in a wheel chair" :cheers:
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Actually I am the luckiest person in the world. I have the most wonderful wife and I just worship the ground she walks on. Just love her so much.
Yes, she does read what I post..... ;D
Kevin
Are you sure she hasn't hijacked your login ;D
Kevin is that really you. Kevin.. Kevin.........
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l am not going to read any of this as l can get into troble all by meself . hard to belive but true :cheers:
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The wife says today, seeing as the weathers turned to crap as far as boating goes, i'll do what ever you want to cheer you up.
So now she's cleaning the BBQ for me, and i might add, she's doing a pretty good job of it too. :cup:
Hope she doesn't take too long though, i'd love a good coffee before i road test some lime fusion beer she bought yesterday and the beers aren't going to get in a stubbie holder all by themselves.
I don't know why anyone puts lime in beer, seems a bit strange to me.
Oh well, looks like i'm gunna have to make my own coffee at this rate..... bloody women....
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gee jeepers... you are game....
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Jeepers now I know there is another the same as me, always in the shat with the wife.
Just did it again, Don't know what it was though.
Bert
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So now she's cleaning the BBQ for me, and i might add, she's doing a pretty good job of it too. :cup:
As I recall, the Blokes Hand Book states that BBQ's are Men's Business ... you slacking off again Jeepers?
Kit_e
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As I recall, the Blokes Hand Book states that BBQ's are Men's Business ... you slacking off again Jeepers?
Kit_e
Don't do today, work that can be done tomorrow or done by the wife.
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It is sometimes nice to be partly deaf. Sorry dear I didn't hear you (selective hearing).
And more you give them, the more they want.
Bert
And when she raises her voice saying are you listening too ME!!!!
standard answer is yes dear , just not remembering, Then duck and roll for cover ;D ;D ;D
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To top off a good day yesterday, what with the BBQ clean etc etc, i even i got to throw a leg over last night. :cheers:
Yeah, i know, :worthles: but i don't have a wide angle lenns big enough.
She's on a diet at the moment, started it on Saturday just just gone. The big lump balloned out to 57 kilos and i said, back to 50 kilos or ya not going to Fraser........
Oh don't panic, she's lost a kilo already and i'd take her anyway, because stuffed if i'm digging the jeep out if we bog it again.
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Under 60 kilos?
In Tin Can?
She is older than 14 isn't she?
Rod
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Yeah.... nearly 51 at the moment.... PMSL... ;D
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Calvin: Do you like being a girl?"
Susie: "Its gotta be better than the alternative."
Calvin: "Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
Susie: "Like a WHAT?"
Calvin: "I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."
(last caption of Calvin upside down against wall with stars buzzing around head)
Calvinist philosophy-
I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!
"I'm a simple man, Hobbes."
"You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!"
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what. (well he is only six)
"Hello Susie, this is Calvin. I lost our homework assignment. Can you tell me what we were supposed to read for tomorrow?"
"Are you sure you're not calling for some other reason?"
"Why else would I call you?"
"Maybe you missed the melodious sound of my voice?"
"WHAT? Are you crazy? All I want is the STUPID assignment!"
"First say you missed the melodious sound of my voice."
"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!"
(you'll learn Calvin)
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Hey JC, is there anything in particular that you would like to have inscribed on your headstone?? Just in case us My Swagers need to make a contribution to the stonemason after your inevitable departure.. ;D
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Got the songs for the eulogy picked out already for him Robbo ..
Johnny cashes "Big bad John "and "Burning Ring of Fire " ..LOL.
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Geez, ya say that like i've done sumfin wrong you two. :angel:
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Geez, ya say that like i've done sumfin wrong you two. :angel:
LOL... You're a brave man JC, however i would pay good money for a ringside seat when your missus gets to read this thread... ;D
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Any way JC arnt you supposed to be packing to go to Fraser tomorrow ?
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I'M JUST NOT HAPPY. >:(
Kit_e
No one has put me in their suitcase destined for Fraser yet ...
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Me to Kitty.
My tastes are to simple, camping,fishing and relaxing.
Her's involve never ending working with the occassional trip to Sydney or Brisbane. What makes it really bad is she has convinced the kids that their life should be the same.
Bert
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Any way JC arnt you supposed to be packing to go to Fraser tomorrow ?
Maaaaate, everything is ready to roll. All i have to do is put the beer in the esky first thing tomorrow.
Jeeps packed, with a power lead running the fridge on 240v, ct is all done, even ran a spanner over the u-bolts on it, checked the wheel bearings and gave 'em a nip up.
We is ready to roll brother. :cheers:
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Good on ya JC. Have a great trip try not to wind her in doors up too much and you should have a good time otherwise Fraser will never be the same again. :D
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Your lucky JC.
Bert
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Happy trax JC.
May your truck n trailer float over the soft Inskip sand to the barge of the green n gold,...a short ride to the Island of sand to get bags of fish to hold ...sit back with a beer in hand and just enjoy that fine Fraser sand ...
Yeah I know, as a poet I suck.... but it seemed to go together .
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Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, took me 5 hours to get her off the big wheel.
And she's back on the warpath again..... she was up for making a home movie last night. All I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
ahhhh I dunno, women..... She sat on my glasses last week and broke them. But it was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
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I'm female and I'm happy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've got 3 days off next weekend and going camping !!!! Maybe Eucumbene, maybe Blowering, maybe Burrinjuck. :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
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You fellas are just all heart, reminds me of this song lol
http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=81896989&ac=now (http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=81896989&ac=now)
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I'm very happy today. It's Friday. Boss is buying me a chinese banquet dinner for christmas. I'm going camping tomorrow. It's only 12 days till I'm on holidays.
This day is Good! ;D
Kit_e ;D
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My wife is p!ssed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night
and swapped her tampon for a party popper.
She has no sense of humour. ;D
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Bloody hell Jeepers, GONE and spat beer all over my keyboard now, mongrel !!!
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Ohh and by the way, should I ask ?? How was Fraser ???
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Ohh and by the way, should I ask ?? How was Fraser ???
See my trip report, if ya game... :D
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My wife is p!ssed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night
and swapped her tampon for a party popper.
She has no sense of humour. ;D
Pop goes the weasel
Smoko
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My husband and I have an agreement...he doesn't complain about my cooking or cleaning skills and I don't complain when he photographs nude International Playboy models ::)
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My husband and I have an agreement...he doesn't complain about my cooking or cleaning skills and I don't complain when he photographs nude International Playboy models ::)
Does he need an offsider, I'd be happy to measure the distance from the camera to the subjects of lust er desire um,er,um, I think I'll just have a quick cold shower :angel:
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I believe the official term for his offsider is a 'Fluffer'. I'll put in a good word for you ;)
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I believe the official term for his offsider is a 'Fluffer'. I'll put in a good word for you ;)
I can fluff pretty good, i might have to look into this. Does it matter if they really really stink?
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Gclan you no the Rule :worthles: happy for you to personal inbox me just would like to see the quality of the shots
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I don't think I'd be allowed to post these photos on here. It is a PG forum after all :angel:
What are the rules on linking to the website? ;D
JC - is there a wrong way to fluff ???
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Yeah, but we won't go there during the childrens timeslot.
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OK...The site still needs some tweaking and photo resizing, but here it is:
Owen James Fine Arts Photography
http://www.owenjames.com.au/ (http://www.owenjames.com.au/)
# WARNING: make sure the kids aren't around and the boss isn't looking over your shoulder.
It is a 'NUDE' Fine Arts Photography website, and I take no responsibility if you get into strife with the boss of the household either :angel:
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:cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup:
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Owen James :cup: I even watched the video :cheers: some great shots :angel:
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Well that's it I'm no use to anyone after that
Smoko
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I am so darn happy!
Tomorrow I'm on leave ... *Insert YAY emoticon here* ... and it's me birdie *Insert planning to get drunk emoticon here* So what we'll probably do is hitch up and disappear for awhile.
Kit_e
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Good for you Kit-e! :cheers:
I actually recon there are heaps more happy sheilas in the world than some blokes on here like to make out.
IME it ain't actually hard to keep a woman that matters to you happy, and it is actually enjoyable as well.
Of course, just as with kids and puppy dogs, we need to be consistent in our approach, no good being hard to live with most of the time then hoping to get in the good books with the occasional 'grand gesture'.
Of course, if this doesn't ring true over time, maybe the couple in question just aren't cut out for each other.
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I am so darn happy!
Tomorrow I'm on leave ... *Insert YAY emoticon here* ... and it's me birdie *Insert planning to get drunk emoticon here* So what we'll probably do is hitch up and disappear for awhile.
Kit_e
Hi kit-e have you got room for Barry1956 ;D
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Hi kit-e have you got room for Barry1956 ;D
Absolutely ... I reckon he's got Dealing With Women down pat.
Love your attitude Barry1956!
Kit_e
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Hi kit-e have you got room for Barry1956 ;D
Tassie Devils,
I'm afraid I would have to decline, part of the secret of keeping a woman happy is to be absolutely clear that it isn't possible to keep more than ONE happy - not including mother / M.I.L. / daughters - otherwise: *EPIC FAIL* >:D
Absolutely ... I reckon he's got Dealing With Women down pat.
Love your attitude Barry1956!
Kit_e
Thanks Kit_e,
You are right, it isnt 'rocket surgery'.
Likewise, from what I've read of your posts, you seem to have 'Dealing with Blokes' sorted as well.
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Around here I wear the pants me missus chooses for me orright!
Seems to work so far although I never quite worked out how the racing motorbikes and gear gave way to all superfluous soft furnishings and stuff.
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OK...The site still needs some tweaking and photo resizing, but here it is:
Owen James Fine Arts Photography
http://www.owenjames.com.au/ (http://www.owenjames.com.au/)
# WARNING: make sure the kids aren't around and the boss isn't looking over your shoulder.
It is a 'NUDE' Fine Arts Photography website, and I take no responsibility if you get into strife with the boss of the household either :angel:
The use of the bush background is great :cup: the girls got in the way :D
Mark
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The use of the bush background is great :cup: the girls got in the way :D
Mark
What background ????
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Hey, the ol girl knocked out some creamy garlic prawns and rice for dinner last night.
For a woman who has put more people in hospital than traffic accidents with her cooking, it was pretty damm good.
Geez, now i can't wait now for the Xmas eve roast pork we are having.
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Your wife sounds like such a lucky lady ;D
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Yeah, she's pretty lucky to have me, thats for sure.
I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me..............
My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable.
It seemed to take an age, but eventually there she was, standing beside me.
I gave her a loving smile and said,
"Get that trolley over here love. They're doing 3 cartons of Carlton Dry, for the price of 2."