Calvin: Do you like being a girl?"
Susie: "Its gotta be better than the alternative."
Calvin: "Whats it like? Is it like being a bug?"
Susie: "Like a WHAT?"
Calvin: "I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it."
(last caption of Calvin upside down against wall with stars buzzing around head)
Calvinist philosophy-
I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!
"I'm a simple man, Hobbes."
"You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!"
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what. (well he is only six)
"Hello Susie, this is Calvin. I lost our homework assignment. Can you tell me what we were supposed to read for tomorrow?"
"Are you sure you're not calling for some other reason?"
"Why else would I call you?"
"Maybe you missed the melodious sound of my voice?"
"WHAT? Are you crazy? All I want is the STUPID assignment!"
"First say you missed the melodious sound of my voice."
"THIS IS BLACKMAIL!"
(you'll learn Calvin)