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Offline McGirr

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I would not wish this on anyone.
« on: July 03, 2019, 02:28:51 PM »
Both Penny and I have spent the last 5 months caring for my parents especially for my father, who has cancer.

Unfortunately the cancer has taken hold and he is now in his last days. With family members sitting around his bedside 24hrs a day waiting for him to pass.

He is medicated to keep him from any pain but to just sit around and wait until he draws his last breath is so cruel to a human being. My heart and sympathy go out to families who have endured this. I would not wish this on any one.

Mark
« Last Edit: July 03, 2019, 02:32:30 PM by McGirr »
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Offline alnjan

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2019, 02:47:47 PM »
Sad in deed.  I watched my Mum die under similar conditions.   Took a heavy toll on my Dad.  That was back in 1996. 

Now I am all for euthanasia.   By the time Mum was diagnosed the cancer was too far along to do much and Mum refused any treatments.  While it all happened pretty quick, there would have been time for her to die with dignity.  Diagnosed Valentines Day, died Good Friday. 


Take care Mark, at least there is family with you all.   
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Offline Desert lover

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2019, 02:50:42 PM »
Hi Mark and Penny.  I feel for you.  We have had a similar experience a few years ago with my partners Mum.  Not an easy time but we do know that even though she was out of it for the last few days she would rally a little - enough to just peek through slitted eyes and to try to express her appreciation for our continuing presence..... expecially the times when we were just thinking 'enough!'  So I am of the opinion that even though they may be drugged up and appear out of it that they aren't really and do know you are there.  In the last hours, all I could do was love her even though our relationship had been fairly rocky over the years....

Hang in there, hold their hand or just put a hand on them... it certainly helped the mother in law in our case and us too probably.

Kind Regards and thinking of you at this time.
Sue
 
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Offline chester ver2.0

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2019, 02:59:07 PM »
i feel very sorry for you both

I have been there and after going through that; if someone told me here is a red pill take it and you will run around fully healthy until you are 75 then it just ends i would have it down my throat before the sentence was finished
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Offline Jeepers Creepers

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2019, 03:28:21 PM »
 :'(
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Offline Pottsy

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2019, 04:09:22 PM »
My thoughts are with you and your family, it is one of the toughest things to do. We did the beside vigil with my dad twelve months ago, thankfully he passed peacefully within a few hours.

Great believer in the need for euthanasia to be legalised and people being allowed to die with dignity.

For those who object to euthanasia, don't prevent others from having the option because of your beliefs is all I ask.
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Offline paceman

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2019, 04:14:06 PM »
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family, McGirr...

I hope everyone can find peace.
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Offline edz

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2019, 05:32:34 PM »
Thoughts  and sympathies to you,  your families and friends Mark,  Its never an  easy or nice time, For us the end was only 3 days from being admitted to paliative care..
Been a long time  supporter  for Euthanasia, My dad wanted it too to end his suffering on his terms but had to endure through, after they stopped treating his cancer, till it came naturaly  just on 3 years later
Take care guys ..    :'(
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Offline Raym

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2019, 07:01:33 PM »

My thoughts are with you Mark & Penny.

Ray
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Offline plusnq

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #9 on: July 03, 2019, 07:07:59 PM »
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I had a similar path nursing my mother till her death from cancer a few years ago.
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Offline weeds

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2019, 08:54:18 PM »
Three weeks ago my old man passed from cancer..the medical staff have a tough gig getting it right at the end, a couple of really tough days but they got it right in the end. Probably my old man being a pain in the arse (he could no longer communicate).

Rest easy old mate.


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Offline Cammo

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2019, 08:56:44 PM »
I feel for you. In January we lost my father-in-law who was also my good friend and former work colleague. To see such a man of dignity reduced to his condition over his last 6 months was cruel and sole destroying.
regards
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Offline brickiematt

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2019, 05:31:37 AM »
Very sorry to hear Mark, my thoughts are with you and the family.
Having gone through the same thing only a few months ago with my Mum, it is heartbreaking to watch.
I am a big advocate of Euthanasia, we put down sick pets, so why can't we ease the pain and suffering of our loved ones?
Just on a side note, I'd like to commend the nurses and staff at the palliative care facility mum was in. These people are angels, nothing was too much for them. To see them do their job day in day out under emotionally trying circumstances gave me a huge respect for them.

It's no consolation,  but know that he will be at peace soon.

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Offline Kegs1972

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2019, 08:52:33 AM »
So very sorry to hear, i have also been thru this, it's just terrible :(

great that you have family around, take care x
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Offline monbeg

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2019, 10:35:18 AM »
Sorry to hear this, I know what it feels like.
My wife passed away 12 months ago last January on her 51st birthday from a brain tumour.

Six weeks later my young sister passed away from MS.

Can be a tough world sometimes, hang in there Mark.
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Offline Bird

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #15 on: July 04, 2019, 11:39:12 AM »
Like others...
I watched my mum die, 3am i decided to run home (1klm away) and get few hrs sleep... Got a call to get down here now... I rushed down, but I missed her final moments by minutes... Still kills me today to wonder if she sat up and looked around, and saw nobody there... Nursing care at this hospital was absolutely outstanding. I cannot rate them highly enough for care and empathy towards the sick patients - no matter how understaffed they were. You cannot pay nurses enough money in my eyes.

Then dad went similar way in a horrible nursing home that has been under investigation.. the care was miserable and most of the staff were from overseas, didnt give a Shit.. were rude, were obnoxious, -my dad was blind and deaf towards the end - the staff would come in and drop his dinner off and walk away. 1/2 the time he never know his dinner as there until they came to take it away,
Xmas time, they came in, dropped his dinner off an pissed off to the party in the common area.. Dad said eh could hear lots of noise in the distance, btu had no idea what it was. Nobody helped him, he buzzed for 30 minutes the report said, and finally someone turned up abusing him 'what do you want, why are you buzzing'.. He said wheres my dinner.. (**** I wish I was there at the time), so now it was cold and rubbery, they microwaved his dinner, salad and all then dropped it off and walked away again - no ****s given at all...
The issue was dad didnt want me to complain as he thought he was 'at their mercy'.. complain, get them in trouble, then if he needed assistance for the dunny, or anything else - they'd ignore him.

There was one Australian lady there that dad really liked, and I never saw a bad tone out of her mouth... You could see she REALLY cared for the sick and frail.


Mark - hope all goes better for your extended family there.
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Offline rockrat

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #16 on: July 04, 2019, 07:04:56 PM »
Plenty of opinions here on MySwag but I think we would all agree that seeing a loved one suffer is one of the hardest things we will ever do. And it goes both ways - my dad died from brain cancer and was upset about the hurt he would cause his family much more than the thought of dying himself.

 My regards to you and your family Mark.


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Offline achjimmy

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2019, 07:10:42 PM »
Hey Mark it’s the pits , feel for you pal . My mum is in a simalar situation. Got the call this afternoon as I was about to drive out the door for the weekend . Only advanced dementia not cancer. 
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Offline akd

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2019, 09:47:40 AM »
Thinking of you both.Ann
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Offline Jeepers Creepers

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2019, 06:20:26 AM »
Quote from: achjimmy on July 04, 2019, 07:10:42 PM
Hey Mark it’s the pits , feel for you pal . My mum is in a simalar situation. Got the call this afternoon as I was about to drive out the door for the weekend . Only advanced dementia not cancer.

M-I-L had that...... there's times it will give you a smile, other times breaks ya heart.
Its a rollercoaster ride of emotions for all concerned.
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Offline McGirr

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2019, 09:43:03 AM »
He is finally at rest.
Passed away at 4.30am this morning

Mark
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Offline edz

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2019, 11:58:30 AM »
Sincere condolences Mark,  Penny and extended families .. 
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Offline Cruiser 105Tvan

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2019, 12:02:03 PM »
Condolences from me as well.
He's gone on to the next great adventure.
Resume your lives and remember the good times.
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Offline Pottsy

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2019, 12:34:37 PM »
Condolences to you both and your extended families. To be surrounded by family would have been a comfort to him, now it is time to remember the man and all the good times and memories will flood back.
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Offline Rumpig

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Re: I would not wish this on anyone.
« Reply #24 on: July 06, 2019, 03:34:12 PM »
My condolences to you Mark and Penny and your family..... as Pottsy wrote, think of the good times you had with him to help get through the sad days and weeks ahead.
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