Change of scenery

[listo]

I've just put in for a job at Moranbah. If I get it, it means more money, Jahna can drop back to three days a week work to finish her teaching degree in half the time, we are closer to where we want to be (Sarina) with friends & there is a lot more there on offer for the kids. This move will most likely set us up, if I were to get the job.
I told my parents today & they're pretty upset. In a Shitty family, it feels like we are the only ones that do stuff for them for love, not profit.
The way way I see it, they're retired & can come up as much as they want, it's not very far, we'll even pay their fuel.
I feel like an arsehole since telling them & I don't even have the job.
Hyperthetically, what would you guys do?

[Cruiser 105Tvan]

It's been said before Lotsa times.

Just do it!!!

Parents will get used to it.

They'll try to guilt you out any way they can but it's your future not theirs.

[Paddler Ed]

Since 2013 I've seen my folks twice - once for 3 weeks when I went back to the UK to get married, and again in 2016 when they came out for Graduation. Seen my in-laws 3 times in that time - they came out in 2013 and 2014.

I think for my parents it's been hard as I'm here and so is my brother, and my brother's got a little lad out here... so they're doing the grandparent by Skype. We had a visit from my brother the other day, and we doubt our parents will do another trip out - in-laws however, will probably be out again.

My parents have been supportive of me being over here, they can see the opportunities here for us compared to back in the UK - and they know how happy we are here. I grew up at least an hours drive from my next nearest family, which is unusual in the UK, but I've come from a family where it's normal to move for work.

My view? Grab it, if you don't, you don't know what you're going to miss out on in both lifestyle and opportunities. As you say, parents can up and move, or come and visit.

[speewa158]

Treg up & make Dust . Your not going to Mars are you   

[krisandkev]

Yes, the politics of families.

listo you need to look after your immediate family!  That is the most important thing.  Go for it...    Kevin

[lloydus67]

Moranbah is a pretty good town for a mining town, but it's bugger all drive from Sarina.
Take the job, earn some better money, live in a camp for 3-6 months and make sure you can do/ like the work before relocating your family.
You earn good money because of the hours you work not the rate. You still won't see much of your family on work days when work and travel are 12-14 hour days
You still have days off in Sarina and can move the family later


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[tryagain]

We announced we were moving to the GC from Sydney just after announcing to my outlaw's that we were expecting their first grandchild. I think it burned up most brownie points earnt upto that point. Both of our parents now come and visit a 2-3 times a year for a week or two, throw in a visit or two by us and I'd be pretty sure we spend more cumalitive time with them per year than those who live local.

You need to make the right decision for your family, but pointing out that it's not quite as bad as they probably think and highlighting the fact that they will likely spend just as much, if not more time with you and the grandkids made it alot more palatable for my wife's parents.

[chester ver2.0]

I've just put in for a job at Moranbah. If I get it, it means more money, Jahna can drop back to three days a week work to finish her teaching degree in half the time, we are closer to where we want to be (Sarina) with friends & there is a lot more there on offer for the kids. This move will most likely set us up, if I were to get the job.
I told my parents today & they're pretty upset. In a Shitty family, it feels like we are the only ones that do stuff for them for love, not profit.
The way way I see it, they're retired & can come up as much as they want, it's not very far, we'll even pay their fuel.
I feel like an arsehole since telling them & I don't even have the job.
Hyperthetically, what would you guys do?

Mate just go parents can be as stubborn as old cattle dogs
We move to Perth every one moans we are so far away etc etc the usual guild crap
We move back to east coast same parents now moan that they dont have free accommodation for the great holidays they had in Perth
Cant win

[Fizzie]

Listo, can only agree with all the others - do what you think is right for you & your immediate family - once you're all settled, extended family can be worked out by holidays, them moving or whatever.

& it's not if your moving to the other side of the World! My BiL's 2 boys are currently in Canada & Germany! They both came home earlier this year for a funeral , but that was the first time in 4 years that all 4 of them had been together. A day's travel away - hardly compares.

[Steffo1]

Your original post has the answer, Listo! 

" Better for Missus & kids"

All else takes a distant back seat. Good luck with the position.
Steve

[rotare]

We use to live 5 minutes from our families, but still rarely got a visit unless there was a specific reason for it.

We moved 40 minutes away and most in the extended family moaned it was too far for them to travel.  It was implied we were being selfish and more than once we were asked  "did you think how this would effect us?".

It's funny how family members expect you to consult them and get approval about decisions that effect your life, but on the flip side the same level of approval is not expected when they make life decisions....

If I've learnt anything in life is do want you want to do, and what you think is best for you immediate family.  Bugger everyone else.   

[Bird]

It's funny how family members expect you to consult them and get approval about decisions that effect your life, but on the flip side the same level of approval is not expected when they make life decisions....

Mate of mine went through that - his dad sold up their house in Sydney and moved to Port Macquarie... His mum didn't even have much say in the move. They moved due to the 3rd runway at the Sydney airport flying directly over their house and to be closer to mates sister and her family.. Rich only found out the house was up forsale when he visited his olds... at that point I think it was already under contract!

If I've learnt anything in life is do want you want to do, and what you think is best for you immediate family.  Bugger everyone else.   

x eleventy

[Rodt]

Mate I have moved a few times for work and every time it appears to get further away but that was entirely unintentional. I can now support the wife and kids the way they should be (still seem broke though ).

I have had cousins, brother, uncles and aunties live at Moranbah over the years and their kids have / are gotten on pretty well there.

If the job is the right one it is amazing how everything else falls into place. I would counsel though against moving there purely because it is close to Sarina (doesn't sound like you are).

Good luck with the move

[Memem284]

Go for it!
My daughter is looking at moving to QLD (she's currently in NSW) for hubby's job and I say go for it, if it gets them closer to their dreams and comfort. They will be taking our only grandchild :-(  My hubby doesn't work due to a medical condition and I've dropped my hours so I think it's up to us as parents (and grandparents) to allow our children to spread their wings without guilt - we can go and visit when we can.
Of course I wished they lived next door, but we want the best for them and their happiness. Don't let your parents make you feel guilty.

[rags]

Liston, great topic for swaggers to offer their opinion and thoughs on.

I would say do what is best for your family.
A move to a community like you suggest can be a great family thing as you can grow in the community as your kids grow.

We did something similar when we were newly wed, moving into a rural community in the Blue Mts NSW. I set up a plumbing business, we had kids who went to a 100 kid school, joined the RFS, all these and more allowed us to become part of a community. It was an affordable opportunity that as lower cost of real estate allowed us to have opportunities to have the 4wd , camper, boat etc and travel without the burdon of huge debt.
My family was 1.5 to 2 hours away so a good distance to visit. Eventually both my sister and brother made a similar move to the same district based on our lifestyle.
My wife's family were in SEQ so distance was involved but allowed for travel in both directions.
Eventually the time came for us to move some 30 years later  which was incredibly difficult but was also about a new time and challenge in our life. We moved to Brisbane so wife could be near her family and also our 2 daughters had moved here to go to uni and there own life adventures so it was a happy wife is a happy life!
It is interesting doing the move in our time of life (52) as it is so much harder to make new relationships. This in part being as result of Brisbane being a city rather than a small town community and to some extent the neighbourhood I live in on small acres where people escape behind their front fences with electric gates never to be seen. With young kids it is so much easier to do become part of a community.
It's a big decision but I would live in another rural urban type town easily again.
Good luck

[listo]

Thanks for the replies everyone.
My oldies aren't making us feel guilty, I think it's us doing that. Combined with seeing the hurt on their faces, they are ageing & they are far from being as healthy as they used to be, and as bad as this sounds, I am finding myself wondering how long they have left more often. In recent months, it's hit me just how old they're looking.

As for the job, it's not a mining job, but it would be a promotion with my mob if I got it. There's still a lot of questions to as yet to make sure it's the right job for us, but so far the positives far outweigh the negatives. And, like I said, I may not even get it... I just feel like a bastard at the moment

[rags]

Thanks for the replies everyone.
My oldies aren't making us feel guilty, I think it's us doing that. Combined with seeing the hurt on their faces, they are ageing & they are far from being as healthy as they used to be, and as bad as this sounds, I am finding myself wondering how long they have left more often. In recent months, it's hit me just how old they're looking.

As for the job, it's not a mining job, but it would be a promotion with my mob if I got it. There's still a lot of questions to as yet to make sure it's the right job for us, but so far the positives far outweigh the negatives. And, like I said, I may not even get it... I just feel like a bastard at the moment

Liston I share your guilt in moving from ageing parents. We moved to be near my ageing mother-inlaw , but in doing so moved from my aging mother. Luckily my sisters could care for my mum. Unfortunately my mother passed 2 weeks ago so emotions are still raw. I struggled with guilt each time I kissed mum goodbye after visiting, when we placed her in aged care earlier this year.
I was fortunate that I made it back to Sydney to sit beside mum in her last day.
Tough decisions ahead. Good luck.

[Jillsy]

Mate you might see a bit of Brett if you get (and take) the job - he works in Moranbah and stays in a camp 

[briann532]

Who's life are you living?

You only get one, so do it your way.
Seems like you've made a choice using logic not emotion. I'd go for it.
Hoping you get the job and live your life to the fullest.
Best wishes,
Brian

[Hairs]

Hyperthetically, what would you guys do?

I know you are looking for a bit of guidance, ideas, thoughts.
Mate,
Only you can make the choice, listo.
You and your family come first, you do what you feel best.
Happy & safe Travels.
 

[nab]

Just do it!!! We did similar and the olds got a bit upset at first but it was the best adventure for us!

[listo]

Liston I share your guilt in moving from ageing parents. We moved to be near my ageing mother-inlaw , but in doing so moved from my aging mother. Luckily my sisters could care for my mum. Unfortunately my mother passed 2 weeks ago so emotions are still raw. I struggled with guilt each time I kissed mum goodbye after visiting, when we placed her in aged care earlier this year.
I was fortunate that I made it back to Sydney to sit beside mum in her last day.
Tough decisions ahead. Good luck.

G'day Rags,
Sorry to here about your mum mate, I hope all' swell for you guys.
This is one of the reasons I've been fighting with myself. We've still got to get the job yet though, so there's plenty of time to consider things. Although it's pretty much all that's rattling around in that black hole between my ears lately.
Thanks for all the replies everyone, it's good to get an insight on what others would do or have done.

Is that a dry camp Jillsy? 

[trinityalyce]

I moved to the other side of the country to both my parents when I was 18.

Best thing I ever did. 

In all seriousness it was. I still saw a lot of my parents, still see a lot of my mum (dad's not around anymore). No regrets. They got over it.

[Jillsy]

Is that a dry camp Jillsy? 

Crikies no! The man wouldn't have survived 11 years out there otherwise 

[carlyle]

Go for it listo, best for you, Jahna & the kids says it all.