What Would You Do

[cruiser 91]

No one on my side of the family has lived passed 70. Going by that number, Ive got 20 years left.
The women on my wife's side all live to 100. Going by that number, the wife has 50 years left.
We have no debt.
100K in super, which I won't see.
very small amount of savings.
Working in our own business just to pay bills and not knowing what each new month will bring in, but we eat well.
Free electricity and gas thanks to solar and feed in tariff.
P.S. The business is not one which you could sell but business assets could sell for maybe 20k.
Home worth around 500k but needs I think around 40k pumped into it to prepare for market.
Kids have great paying jobs 70k-120k, but one 22 year old still lives at home due to contract work year to year. They earn more than us combined.
Everything is getting more expensive, even though our cash flow has diminished for us over the last 5 years we still live ok.
I'd sell up and move country, cheaper more modest self sufficient home on acreage with few 100k left over but the missus is not keen, shes more of a white collar type. 
Feeling like I've not got much time left.......................
What would you do?

[Bird]

leave the missus, sell up and move to the country.

[Joff]

What's important to you. We could do that too but then I think what is important to me is friends and family. To move just means I'm further from those things.

Now if you had said you were going to rent your house out, buy a caravan and start travelling, well that would be different.

[Raym]

To hell with family tradition be a black sheep & live till you are 100+

In reality it is hard for a stranger on a forum to offer you valid advice without walking in your shoes.

I am approaching having to make a decision (according to the specialists) whether I stay in the family home on my own to be near to our family or sell up buy a cheaper place in the country so I can travel or the 20 other options that race through my head while at the same time trying to live a life that is as close to normal as possible.

Luckily my wife is a black sheep & just keeps on going no matter what they say. If the time comes and I don't get run over by a bus in the meantime, I will weigh up all the pros & cons then make a decision.

No one else can make that decision for me, only offer information, based on what they are feeling, to help or influence that decision.

Good luck mate & go the black sheep.

[Bookleaf]

Even if you have no firm idea what you want to do, see a financial planner.  There are things you can do NOW to maximize your income in the future and start now for financial life after work ends.  Waiting till you 'retire' may well be to your financial detriment.
Having to set out your current financial situation and lay out your possible planes to the planner can be a major stepping stone to your future, earlier( if that makes sense).


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[McTavish]

Does your doctor give you any ideas re your health risks?   Weight (BMI), cholesterol, blood pressure, mental attitude, skin cancers & family history which can be inherited (rather than lifestyle influenced)?

This might give you a starting point for the timeframe / life expectancy issue?

Then balance up current lifestyle and potential future lifestyle/budget.    You may be surprised how much you can save over the next say 10 yrs and retire at age 60? 

Ps make sure your charging the little sucker board too.

And pps don't go borrowing to invest unless you have plenty of cash flow left - that is high risk stuff.   Especially at the moment as a lot of the usual suspects (property & shares) have been doing quite well since GFC and I'm guessing some price fluctuations are headed our way.   Slow and steady can still finish the race you know...

 

[Ragman]

Even if you have no firm idea what you want to do, see a financial planner.  There are things you can do NOW to maximize your income in the future and start now for financial life after work ends.  Waiting till you 'retire' may well be to your financial detriment.
Having to set out your current financial situation and lay out your possible planes to the planner can be a major stepping stone to your future, earlier( if that makes sense).


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LOL, At least then you will die happy in the fact that the financial planner gets a great salary...

mate get out of bed everyday and enjoy every minute of life, when you are dead you're dead.
But if you spend your life worrying about sh#t you're F$%^&d

[BaseCamp]

You are facing a dilemma that many thousands of older self employed people are facing at this time....  (Evaporating real buying power, and ballooning living costs....)     (Why do you think I have been awake now for hours - typing into my phone with several posts to swaggers).... "worried too"...

But if a happy wife = a happy life (for you); and you are debt free and own your own home etc....    is the age pension anywhere near, for you?    Can you hang on to then?   You could also maybe rent out a room to a student if you are in the right area?    That may nett circa $10Kpa....   

Then have a talk with someone or your super fund etc, about that transition to retirement thing that you can start to tap from age 55,   I think...

But putting your selfless hat on for a moment. ...   if you sell up and move to the country - there's a good chance all the family's nett cash maybe gone by the time you may depart;  (70?)..   

If there's a looming housing bubble coming in the capital cities; I shudder to think what random country acreage will be (not) worth....

Your wife may be concerned about the many years she'll have left here alone, as a widow....   Financially marooned;  and aging, in some rural area; no real access to top notch medical and hospital etc...

And as the saying goes - one should never rely on their kids to "save them"...  particularly in the West....   You, (as in your wife), may only be able to depend on a couple of (surviving) good friends for that; and she knows these existing friends are city based....

Best of luck with it all...
BaseCamp

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[speewa158]

Well said Ragman . By the way Nobody gets out of this Gig Alive ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
                          Treg Up & Make Dust                                          

[edz]

Get off the treadmill !!
 That stick poking out front dangling a carrot in front of the donkey rotted and fell away long ago, but still the donkey goes round and round, till he cark's it and they drag him off for dog meat..
 Get out and enjoy what time you both have,  find a happy medium for you both,  semi rural close enough to the city area ? .. the kids will be fine they are making their own journey in life ..
As to out living the other .. that is up to your internal clock, a day, a week,  a hundred years youll never know.

[Cruiser 105Tvan]

Get off the treadmill !!
 That stick poking out front dangling a carrot in front of the donkey rotted and fell away long ago, but still the donkey goes round and round, till he cark's it and they drag him off for dog meat..
 Get out and enjoy what time you both have,  find a happy medium for you both,  semi rural close enough to the city area ? .. the kids will be fine they are making their own journey in life ..
As to out living the other .. that is up to your internal clock, a day, a week,  a hundred years youll never know.

And Never, EVER, make your partner mourn you for the rest of their life.
LET THEM get on with their own life.  Life goes on, you never know what's around the corner.

[Traveller]

I agree with Basecamp to a great extent, because as you age being in close proximity to friends and medical care is a big plus.

If you would still like to move to the bush then maybe ensure a good hospital/medical centre is not too far away, and then spend a week there to see if you really like it, or go for a few weekends. It is surprising how the shine can go off a place with time.

Unfortunately a move from city to country is usually only one way, if you (or your wife) want to move back then normally you won't have enough cash to purchase a home back in the big smoke.

Having said that, friends of ours have just moved from the SE Melbourne to northern Victoria and couldn't be happier. According to them, there is no way they will ever want to come back to our cr*ppy weather and hustle and bustle. They have picked up quite a few friends already, have a hospital in town, and life is so relaxed. Good luck to them, and to you for whatever you decide.

[wakychapmans]

kinda' in the same boat. so will be following everyones thoughts with interest.

I'm 51, and currently running a small business with a business partner. (not Muru Cycles as that's more of a fun thing the wife and I do)

Before the GFC... my other business it was valued... well... considerably more than now. (around 10 times more)

So, self employed for the last 20+ years... and never paid myself much (pumped it all back into the business didn't I), bugger all in Super. (around $70k currently) and a wife that's 13 years younger than me. (not complaining about that bit... cept' for her crap taste in music though).

Oh yeh... and renting.

No kids. can't have them. Got a dog.

Personally I can't wait to become a grey(ing) nomad.

[listo]

I'm probably not entitled to a comment on this due to my age, but my parents are retired & still scrimping & scraping to to look after us kids. I'm the youngest at 35.
Dad drives a Shitty old xh falcon ute & mum a pulsar that isn't much newer. Both on the pension caretaking a 7000 acre property for free rent and power. They also own a house in town.
Oldest brother just left a 100k & vehicle job due to stress & is living on income protection at a time that jobs are hard to get.
Middle brother, making 100k plus a year, renting (more like de-valuing) their house for $250 a week & only pays when he can. They moved out of this place during the gas boom so he could have cheap rent due to financial troubles.
Myself, I make quite a good wage with my trade. We're not rich but live comfortably.

Just incase you're wondering where I'm going with this, we're big enough & ugly enough to look after ourselves. My olds have worked hard & deserve the good times. I want them to sell the house, get a car & van & travel while their clock is still ticking.
You only get one shot at life mate & it isn't long, after that there's nothing. Enjoy your time while you have it, find happiness & follow your dreams. Life carries on for those left behind too. I understand the worry about your wife living on after also, but if I were in that situation, I'd be wanting to enjoy my time with each other as a couple while I can also. Quality of life while you have it. How many people work their whole life & die the first day of retirement?

Or you could do like McGirr is doing, you're still working but you're also living an adventure?

Maybe I'm making sense, maybe not but either way, only you can decide what's right for you. I wish you all the best for the future what ever way you go.

[stabicraft]

Creeping up on 60 but long lives are common in my family.

But I have watched people around me and have many older friends ...70-80 plus.

I belong to Marine Rescue and you know what?
There are many old people in that organisation who are still going strong, real strong.

The big killer is a feeling of worthlessness, that you are no longer relevant or needed.
Too many people retire and as they see themselves as their job, they just wither and die.
Look at the ones that live long lives, they keep busy.
They volunteer in worthwhile organisations,
They give and in that giving reap the rewards of being needed and wanted.

In this is the secret, to live you need to be active and part of something bigger than yourself.

The other secret is to do the exact opposite that you are currently doing.
Considering death is like paying interest on money you don't have.
Ignore death,
Ignore the future
Ignore life and just get on with it.

Surely you have heard of people who strive to live until they achieve a specific target and then die.
The best advice I can give you is keep setting new targets, before you achieve the last one.
Strive to live, don't think about tomorrow, think of now.

Finally, Enjoy yourself.
Live life like a samurai, make every day count as if there is no tomorrow.
When death come to you you will say to him, "Hey man, didn't expect you so soon"
Much better than saying "I have been waiting for you"

Live a full life, even if it isn't long, make every second count.

Cheers mate
Hope we meet on the road one day, in this life or the next.

[gronk]

No one on my side of the family has lived passed 70. Going by that number, Ive got 20 years left.

Break the mould !!   Are you overweight?  Fix it ! High cholesterol ? Fix it ! Common family history of why they died ? Get it looked at or fixed !

But in reality, another 10 yrs on that ...80 ...is a good innings, so don't wait till it's too late to enjoy retirement....

[McTavish]

In this is the secret, to live you need to be active and part of something bigger than yourself.

I'm going to be a little bit indulgent here - and pick on this point Stabicraft - and great post by the way!     My grandfather and grandmother both not only play golf but thrive on it.   Here is my grandfather winning the Warwick Sportsman of the Year this year at only 87yoa.

http://www.warwickdailynews.com.au/news/ken-secures-rsl-award-for-efforts-on-and-off-cours/3000114/

I have asked my Grandmother previously why they have such a good life.   She smiled and said that always goes to bed thinking of either what she has to do or who she has to help or how she's going to sort something out the next day.   Pop (featured) reckons you just need to be tough to be old and just get on with what you enjoy doing - no matter what.   They have managed their farm, health, engaged their family and friends regularly (nothing for 10-20 people to turn up every Tuesday for some morning tea at theirs).   Some may call it a positive mental attitude.  My grandparents call it enjoying your life, your family, your friends (and Pop may advocate a little whisky every now and then) and your interests and staying active...

[speewa158]

The sell the house & hit the road thing is good but ,, you could find yourself trapped on the road with no base to work from . l have met people that did just that & their world is 26ft long with a 100 series fro direction . Try it for a few years the rip in to it after you embrace it 

[shakey55]

My brother 57 and his partner 55 in similar situation (not self employed) have bitten the bullet and taking off.

I suggested and he has listened - not selling the house.

They have purchased a good van, have a good vehicle, modest superannuation, and have done the figures.

With renting house out to supplement small use of superannuation they feel they can travel now and see this vast country.

When they have had enough, or God forbid they need to cut travel short they have a home to return to.

Lots of people on here will give you their advice/opinions, but the best given so far is

SPEAK WITH A FINANCIAL ADVISOR.

Good luck in what ever you do.


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[cruiser 91]

Many thanks for all the replies 

Well its been 3 months since posting the question. A hell of a lot of soul searching has been done. I've come to a point in my life and have made the decision to start a new chapter in life, unfortunately it does not involve my partner of 17 years.

I have considered many, many things, going over and over and over everything in my mind.
i had always been fear driven...........money, what if. I have had enough and fear stops now.

I have consulted medical professionals to make sure I am of sound mind and physical body is good.

Plans have changed to move and purchase outright a property in the country. I going to take 2-3 months starting in early May and do a solo 1/2 lap, more soul searching and be happy, then see where I want to lay my head.

Again, many thanks for everyones input.

Will be posting questions soon about my up coming adventure.

 

[DannyG]

Good luck I hope everything works out well for you.

I love it when bird gives straight up advice and he is right

leave the missus, sell up and move to the country.

[rockinj]

Wow
based on this thread I feel sorry for your partner. I hope while you are off finding yourself she finds herself a great time. Good luck to her.

[tracker]

Wow
based on this thread I feel sorry for your partner. I hope while you are off finding yourself she finds herself a great time. Good luck to her.

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned........

[cruiser 91]

Wow
based on this thread I feel sorry for your partner. I hope while you are off finding yourself she finds herself a great time. Good luck to her.

I wish her the best of luck as well and truly hope she find happiness.
Cheers for the comment "based on this thread" there is always more than meets the eye which is private.
I guess getting married @ 18 years of age.............................

 

[cruiser 91]

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned........

its all good 
She made a comment based on what was posted....................might have been different if I posted the personal whole story in, but i'm not after people being sorry...................it is what it is.