Godspeed Harold

[robbo1172]

I just turned the shower off and grabbed a towel when the Mrs bashed on the door and yelled out open up. I quickly opened the door and she blurted out "Harold's dead", Harold being a somewhat elderly gentleman that had not long moved over the road, maybe 5 or 6 months ago.
We had him and his wife over once and we had been to their place to help celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary three weeks ago. Lovely people.
The wife (Mel) was in our lounge room with the kids when she heard a loud scream from over the road, his daughter had found him on the kitchen floor.  Mel ran over to help and they asked her to help put him on his back and open his mouth. As soon as she felt him she said its all too late, he's gone.
Mel had to come home to be with the kids, which is when she came to get me from the bathroom.
I went over to try and help not knowing exactly what to expect. Harold was cold, stiff and blue in the floor. I suspect he had a heart attack and as he was so cold, at least a few hours earlier. His wife , Cora asked what we should do. I told her there was nothing we could do but wait for the ambulance to come for him.
His daughter was sitting out the back on the concrete sobbing and it was cold. I let her cry for a few minutes and said I was worried about her sitting in the cold concrete and sat her on a chair and grabbed a blanket for her. She asked what she would tell her kids. Knowing they are quite religious I said that he's in heaven and he'd be with them day and night now.
Her friend showed up so I left them alone and Cora's sister was there now so I left them in peace.
I was with my mother when she passed and there is no more helpless feeling. It is gut wrenching.
I really feel for Cora, as she left him at home to go to a funeral and when she couldn't get in rang her daughter to come over with the spare keys.

Sorry for the morbid post but just sharing had helped deal with a tough day. Mel seems to have coped ok but is obviously shaken up so I will keep my eye on her got the next few days.

Thanks for listening and Godspeed Harold...

Robbo

[edz]

Doesnt hurt to have a chat Robbo, morbid no!! sad yes, its never an easy time.
It comes as a bit of a shake up dont it, and the what if it was one us question seems to slap you in the face a bit. It might help to pack your family up and head off to somewhere nice for the day at the bush or the beach, to help take their minds of whats happened a bit and be a good chance to talk with the wife and see how she's coping ..

[jayjay]

Doesnt hurt to have a chat Robbo, morbid no!! sad yes, its never an easy time.
It comes as a bit of a shake up dont it, and the what if it was one us question seems to slap you in the face a bit. It might help to pack your family up and head off to somewhere nice for the day at the bush or the beach, to help take their minds of whats happened a bit and be a good chance to talk with the wife and see how she's coping ..

Agree wholeheartedly with all of the above............. taking the day out to acknowledge and validate what your family, and in particular your wife, have just been through, is an opportunity not to be missed - an opportunity to treat yourselves kindly, and to value each other, and to acknowledge your own mortality.
As a nurse, I have seen a countless variety of end-of-life scenarios......... it comes to us all in time- and one common theme is regret over missed opportunities.
And yes, I see that a forum such as this is perfect for debriefing and talking out difficult and confronting events. Take care.

[macca]

It's good to talk about. I laid one of my best mates to rest this week after he passed away suddenly.  Hadn't seen him for a while so it hit hard,  but we celebrated  his life with plenty of good memories.  Agree with edz,  get out for the day  to take your mind off it

[achjimmy]

Tough day mate , sorry for you. As Edz said get the gear and head away for a few days.

[BaseCamp]

The dad at our neighbour's died that way.....   Massive stroke    dropped dead on the spot     found cold     sounds of the elderley wife screaming. .....     The thing I remember vividly is the wife "begging me" to take a look at him (in case he was still alive).....   but then the ambos standing behind her staring at me intently and shaking their heads   ... "nooo"

Shake&Bake BB

[robbo1172]

Thanks all. It's been a tough day today. We went to master 5's (Lucas) U/6 soccer match and he scored 4 goals (great stuff). Ended up making an official complaint against OJNL (orange jacket nazi lady) for being rude, arrogant and basically just bring an arse.
But it was good to see Lucas score 4 goals, so six for the year. They usually get well and truly towelled up but played well today. Even though they don't keep score at that age, they like to feel like they've had a win.

Thanks again