My Teenage daughters don't love me anymore ;)

[dazzler]

Nah, got no kids.



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[dazzler]

Hi Hairs

I was stirring but also being blunt for a reason.  You live once.  You  have your kids once and then they are gone.  My mum died of cancer in ten days from diagnosis.  I really wish I had more good times to remember rather than unpleasantness.  I cant go back in time to get it.

What possible outcome could there be by turning off the internet.  "Oh Father, thank you so much for showing me the error of my ways.  Now lets all sit together and talk about the day?"  Seriously?

And it is bullying,  You have control they don't.  Your behaviour is designed to annoy them and annoy them is what it did.  Did it achieve what you hoped?

I am not suggesting I have the answers to raising kids.  We have been lucky with our 18yo and our 13yo is pretty good.  Maybe our 6 and 3 will give me trouble.  Antagonising them is'nt real useful IMO.






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[Hairs]

Hey Dazzler,
You might not agree with how I'm dealing with my kids, but please don't call me a bully in a public forum when you haven't walked a mile in my shoes.

 

Edit,
I don't think you realize how much time these kids(this generation) are spending in front of their phones, Ipods and computers, it is unhealthy.

[Foo]

Unless they are paying the for the computer, phone, internet or any other media, I have control over how or when they will be on them! 

Foo

[alnjan]

My take on the issue with kids and it doesn't just relate to internet usage, you have to have the ground rules set right from the start.  If that includes allotted times to use the internet then so be it.  Think about it yourself, what is the one thing that annoys you about a regular routine or work.    Change.   

Same thing applies with kids.  Without the ground rules set at the start trying to reel the barriers back in will create hardship and at times heart ache.  The older the kids more so the problem, they want and at times need a bit more space.   

Only my thoughts though.

[DannyG]

We like to tie our kids up in the laundry for most of the day, so the little bit they are let loose we are happy to let them use the internet.

[WilSurf]

Agreed with the ground rules.
But if she is breaking them every time, then action is required.

[Dion]

Rather than buy a second router just buy an access point.  It just plugs into your existing router and just provides extra WiFi.  Set that one up for your kids use.

I have a similar setup in my house (thought not because of my kids) for providing internet access for friends/family/work colleagues when they come to visit/work.  They get their own WiFi which goes straight out to the internet and can't "see" any of my computers or servers.

[WilSurf]

My router/modem is from 11/2009 so over 4 years old.
I am sure a new one will be a better investment.

[GXL4X4]

Well what great topic I live a small town of about 1100 I have a partner she has a 15 yr old son who to me is the most laziest dirtiest laziest am yeah all he dose is go to school comes home gets on the net eats chips drinks coke doesn't move I turn the net off at 9.30 pm he knows that's time to get off but dose t think I know the time so when I turn it off he slams the mouse down on the table but mums doesn't say or do any thing I hate when weekends and holidays come he gets out of bed a around 11 than walks out and straight on the laptop and thTs where he sits for the hole day like I might have 3 acres of lawns to mow doesn't offer to help if I ask him to do some thing it's like done in 3 sec and rushes back to the laptop and he sits on till I turn the net off at midnight I said to his mum why dose he have to stay on the net till midnight  what if I won't to go to bed early she said tell him to get off and when I do he cracks the Shits and she doesn't say any thing I said to her who is boss in this house him or us.

Chris


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[fishfinder]

Well what great topic I live a small town of about 1100 I have a partner she has a 15 yr old son who to me is the most laziest dirtiest laziest am yeah all he dose is go to school comes home gets on the net eats chips drinks coke doesn't move I turn the net off at 9.30 pm he knows that's time to get off but dose t think I know the time so when I turn it off he slams the mouse down on the table but mums doesn't say or do any thing I hate when weekends and holidays come he gets out of bed a around 11 than walks out and straight on the laptop and thTs where he sits for the hole day like I might have 3 acres of lawns to mow doesn't offer to help if I ask him to do some thing it's like done in 3 sec and rushes back to the laptop and he sits on till I turn the net off at midnight I said to his mum why dose he have to stay on the net till midnight  what if I won't to go to bed early she said tell him to get off and when I do he cracks the ****s and she doesn't say any thing I said to her who is boss in this house him or us.

Chris


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I think your other half is doing the rite thing giving you the opportunity in discipline this kid - seen so many situations where the mother takes sides of their kids and the step fathers hands are tied.

[Symon]

Nah, got no kids.

Some time ago I made the decision to never criticise how someone raises their kids until I had kids of my own. 

As long as the child isn't being abused, they are raised in whatever manner their parents want them to be.

[dazzler]

Hey Dazzler,
You might not agree with how I'm dealing with my kids, but please don't call me a bully in a public forum when you haven't walked a mile in my shoes.

 

Edit,
I don't think you realize how much time these kids(this generation) are spending in front of their phones, Ipods and computers, it is unhealthy.

Well then dont bloody post if you cant take criticism. You brought it in the public arena - you own it. You gloated over how you treated them not me.
Your behaviour was bullying.  Whether or not you see that or agree with that is an issue for you. Did I call you a bully?  NO.  I called the behaviour bullying.

In closing, if you want to take my post as a personal attack that is a choice for you.  It was not intended that way as it was aimed at all the posts giggling about how they torment their kids.




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[jaycamrie]

Mr seven year old gets home from school

says dad i am going to mates place , they play out on the street riding there scooters ,bikes ,swimming in neighbours pool ,shoot i even seen them playing cricket yesterday we dont own xboxs and the like  and he does not come home untill its dark or he,s starving  as he puts it is this normal behaviour

Miss twelve year old gets home from school

Well thats a whole differant story on comes the laptop and thats where she stays ,i ask why dont you be like your brother and go play with your friends Dad she says they are all home on there computer , i just unplug the modem every night a pain i know but you cannot trust the little buggers

Maybe its the age who knows but they all seem to have the gadgets 12 year old has no phone and she reckons she is the odd one out we reckon when she is 14 and gets a part time job and pays for her own credit she can have one Man i hope i can put up with the tantrums for that long

cheers

[Hairs]

G'day jaycamrie,
Our 11yr boy comes home from school riding his bike, comes in the door, says g'day(while looking at me), unpacks his bag, gets out of his school clothes, grabs something to drink and eat, says he'll be back in an hour and off he goes on his bike to catch up with his mates, Just like I did as a kid.
It must be a girl thing, the girls come home, phone/ipod in their hands, don't look up said 'Hi' and straight into their rooms,
they have to be hunted out.
Since starting this thread, I have received member messages of support and ideas on how to try and deal with this and it has surprised me how many parents struggle with this. BTW, thanks for the ideas too.
This isn't just a couple of parents that have to deal with this, most parents are struggling to deal with their teenagers addiction to having to have their phone in their hand or in front of a screen, it is common and especially with teenage girls.
As I mentioned it is unhealthy and there are studies that are showing the social problems that kids are facing with this.
 

[WilSurf]

It is fine during the day.
The same thing happens at our place, if they have time as they do dancing, synchro swimming etc.
It is when they are going to bed when this all happens.

[axle]

Hi Hairs,

I have been a teacher of IT for years and from my experience you are doing the right thing. I have had students leave Year 11 and 12 as a result of online gaming addiction.

People who allow their kids to use the internet on any device in their closed bedroom really concern me.  If you wouldn't let your child wonder around the streets of Kings Cross (or equivalent) at night why would you let them loose on the internet without supervision? Ask them what really happens on Snapchat.......

Thankfully my kids are only 5 and 6 but they still have boundaries for computer usage (ie playing games etc).

Everyone has their own take on parenting and its a bit like politics and religion when it comes to emotive topics, but why not listen to the advice of those who have walked that path already?

Good work mate and keep up your standards, they will one day hopefully respect you for it and perhaps be better parents themselves one day as a result.

Goodluck

[jaycamrie]

G'day jaycamrie,
As I mentioned it is unhealthy and there are studies that are showing the social problems that kids are facing with this.
 

Its funny you say that  when i tell little miss its time to get off she says i am interfereing in her social life ,i try to explain that i think she is anti social and is anti social behaviour she does not understand just differant times and really hard to control, people who think they have control are kidding themselves in my opinion , all you can hope for is to keep showing them the way and hope they come out the other end OK


cheers

[alnjan]

Just out of shear curiosity, how many here actually sat down as a family group and discussed with their children the concenrs they have about the children being on the internet or other devices before just pulling the plug. 

[briann532]

We like to tie our kids up in the laundry for most of the day, so the little bit they are let loose we are happy to let them use the internet.

PMSL......................

[Foo]

Just out of shear curiosity, how many here actually sat down as a family group and discussed with their children the concenrs they have about the children being on the internet or other devices before just pulling the plug.

Been done here, especially after my daughter and her best friend disappeared at school to meet someone, that had hacked the school system and chatted them up.    (they were 13yrs)

She is now a very switched on young woman about these things. 

Foo

[Socks]

Just out of shear curiosity, how many here actually sat down as a family group and discussed with their children the concenrs they have about the children being on the internet or other devices before just pulling the plug.

Can't say we've sat as a family group but I talk o my kids all the time about the amount of time on devices. My daughter isn't too bad but starts high school next year so that's likely to change. My son 10 is a problem already so I am strict with his time limits and its the first thing he looses when in trouble


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[jaycamrie]

Just out of shear curiosity, how many here actually sat down as a family group and discussed with their children the concenrs they have about the children being on the internet or other devices before just pulling the plug.

Every friggin day ,,

[Hairs]

Many times Al,   

[Bird]

Many times Al,   

x eleventybilliondailyteen