Hey mate,
4.5kg bottles do vary slightly between manufacturers but often it is not significant enough to cause you issues as the cylinder ring can usually accommodate a reasonable variation in bottle size.
All the same, I think it would be a good idea to measure across your cylinder ring to make sure that the diameter is similar enough.
In regards to the gas bottles in an accident. Definitely, carrying gas does add an extra element of danger to an accident. Though it's fairly unusual for a accident to include flames (despite the movies). They are also very well secured. Not to mention, more than likely your car will take the brunt of any accident. Ontop of this they are usually outside, or very well ventilated so there should be no explosions, more just large flames if for some reason the gas bottles were to somehow catch on fire.
What is more scary, is how many people mount gas bottles onto their roofrack. I hope they've got them well secured, it'd be nasty to be in a crash with them and end up with a gas bottle in your lap.
Cheers,
Jon