A few years ago I got stuck on a desert island after my boat sank, it was a pretty lonely existance there for a while but I kept myself alive and fed.
Eventually a gorgeous woman who was doing some scuba diving came ashore, I hadn't seen or heard the boat arrive. You can imagine my excitement, she walked up the beach and I thought I was dreaming. She stopped in front of me and looked me up and down, when she spoke it was with a sultry voice that made me shiver. She said "you must have been here for a while", I told her that I had been alone for months with nothing to do but try to stay alive.
She asked if there was anything I really wanted and I said I would love a scotch or a rum, she unzipped a compartment on her wetsuit and pulled out a little flask and I knew I was in heaven. After I had a long hard drink, she asked if there was anything else I'd really like, I told her I was hanging out for a smoke and low and behold, she opened another zipper and pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter.
As I puffed away, she asked if that was all I wanted or would I like to play a round - she started pulling down the zip from her neck line, I screamed with delight -
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"don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too"