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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: UTE 701 on December 08, 2011, 03:13:28 PM

Title: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 08, 2011, 03:13:28 PM
I thought if you were like me and would rather send a Christmas email with a funny pic rather than put a card in the mail , then we should be able to help each other out by putting up things here we can use .... ( and show the kids )

I'll start with my favourite Christmas Message ...

Christmas Disclaimer:
I wanted to send some sort of seasonal greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following :

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year !!!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Regards (without prejudice)

Name withheld (Privacy Act).




.
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: areyonga on December 08, 2011, 04:13:05 PM
Get the ball rolling
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Bushman on December 08, 2011, 05:47:01 PM
Aussie Jingle Bells



Aussie Jingle Bells (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv3m8HIorP8#)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: speewa158 on December 08, 2011, 05:47:33 PM
Baaaa Humbug  :-* :-* :-*                                                             :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Bill on December 08, 2011, 06:35:49 PM
(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a281/safetyman_1/christmas.jpg)
Bill and Morag
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: speewa158 on December 08, 2011, 06:39:46 PM
Aussie Jingle Bells



Aussie Jingle Bells (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv3m8HIorP8#)
[/quote
Well done Bushman . To you & all Swaggers & all theres    Have a Good & Safe Xmas  :cheers:
Fax me to New Years Eve    :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: hargs on December 08, 2011, 06:41:23 PM
Baaaa Humbug  :-* :-* :-*                                                             :cheers:

x 2
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: speewa158 on December 08, 2011, 06:44:42 PM
hargs  is it snowing in Tumit  ??? ??? White Xmass , BaaaaHumbug   :cheers:
To you & yours  :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: DANBRI on December 08, 2011, 06:56:13 PM
(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/2/12/945499ae-c5f9-4150-8258-c1bdfbd230cd.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Kit_e_kat9 on December 08, 2011, 07:56:35 PM

Merry Xmas to all My Swaggers!!  Bring it on!

Kit_e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfvLx3EVdNo&feature=related (http://Aussie12DaysOfXmas)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FdVXca9hys&feature=related (http://SixWhiteBoomers)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 08, 2011, 08:41:23 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/safety_santaCopy.jpg)

.
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: hargs on December 08, 2011, 08:44:20 PM
hargs  is it snowing in Tumit  ??? ??? White Xmass , BaaaaHumbug   :cheers:
To you & yours  :cheers:

Tumit..............whats Tumit ???

Tumut you Mexican !!!  No snow here, just rain again. Nice but camping for New Year so hope it eases up by then,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 BaaaaHumbug   :cheers:
To you & yours too :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: POD on December 08, 2011, 09:05:07 PM
Tumit..............whats Tumit ???

Tumut you Mexican !!!  No snow here, just rain again. Nice but camping for New Year so hope it eases up by then,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 BaaaaHumbug   :cheers:
To you & yours too :cheers:

If THAT is the worst of Speewa's spelling issues tonight then we are doing well, Hargs! (In unrelated news: Carlton and United Breweries shares have just taken a massive dive!!)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 10, 2011, 06:32:32 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/funny-christmas-card-3.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/Pr112604santajet.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/santascooter.jpg)

Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: time on December 10, 2011, 07:22:59 PM
(http://www.toonsup.com/users/m/mark/mcdonalds_100404_0443.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 11, 2011, 11:20:15 AM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc5.gif)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/fatboy.gif)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 12, 2011, 10:23:44 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc1.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc6.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc7.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 16, 2011, 02:08:49 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/Santacopy.gif)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 17, 2011, 04:50:18 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Misc/christmas_fail_.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 21, 2011, 02:54:21 PM
Any Revheads out there ??

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc2.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc4.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc3.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc10.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/mtc9.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: maurerless on December 21, 2011, 09:45:40 PM
Merry Government Christmas

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.

It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, DOCS has been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Merry Government Christmas!
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: qlddsl on December 22, 2011, 05:23:09 AM
^^^^^ ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 22, 2011, 01:43:19 PM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/Xmascartoon1.jpg)


(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/Xmascartoon2.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Bird on December 23, 2011, 09:04:46 AM
(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/merryhappy.png)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 23, 2011, 09:37:40 AM
(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/X1icicle.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/funny-beach-.jpg)

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/funny_golf_christmas.gif)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Bird on December 23, 2011, 11:08:23 AM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_schtd5RphwI/TSTlyau82UI/AAAAAAAAC3w/dm9aVTzPtTw/s1600/Final_WT_family_2.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: POD on December 23, 2011, 12:36:33 PM
Got the whole family over for Christmas, Lost?
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 23, 2011, 01:31:15 PM
Here's a Christmas Card , I'm guessing quite a few will like .....

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/BundyBear.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Hairs on December 23, 2011, 03:49:15 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Bird on December 23, 2011, 08:07:30 PM
White Trash Christmas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u_c1oyaClU#)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: gunna on December 24, 2011, 09:54:20 AM
Merry Xmas
 :cheers: sheeds
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 24, 2011, 03:18:15 PM
Hey Billy Bob , ya'll wanna see a picher of our tree ? 

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/redneckchristmas-12.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Mace on December 24, 2011, 03:26:59 PM
Hey Billy Bob , ya'll wanna see a picher of our tree ? 

(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/redneckchristmas-12.jpg)


Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

 :cheers: mate.

Mace
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: Hal Harvey on December 24, 2011, 08:20:02 PM
(http://i1028.photobucket.com/albums/y341/OKA4WD/Unrelated%20stuff/JoeMary.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: speewa158 on December 25, 2011, 06:59:38 AM
Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

 :cheers: mate.

Mace
Might be a bit HiTeck for him , I could be the Teck advisop for the right amount of cans ofcourse  :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: OzJeeper on December 25, 2011, 05:08:19 PM
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.

Instructions were studied and we were inspired, in hope we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:

A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot and, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat...Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete.

Too late for last-minute returns or replacement; if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement

When what to my worrying eyes should appear, but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,

With each part numbered and every slot named, so if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out, All over the carpet they were scattered about.

"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there, slide on the seats, and staple the stair!

Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand. "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact. That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact

To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night. With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work, till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin, before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest, we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out, "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring, and not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went, though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...

I'd forgotten that batteries are never ever included!
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: outback jack on December 25, 2011, 05:13:47 PM
Is that out the front of Black Diamonds Shop?

 :cheers: mate.

Mace

don't think so, i can't see any empty jd cans on the ground  :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: speewa158 on December 25, 2011, 06:52:23 PM
don't think so, i can't see any empty jd cans on the ground  :cheers:
Jack dont be rude his highly trained staff collected then to get the Xmas bonus for cash a can , I hear they did very well indeed  :cheers:
Title: Re: Christmas Funnies ( G rated please )
Post by: UTE 701 on December 27, 2011, 12:35:32 PM
I think this will be my last Christmas Funny Photo ...

I hope you all got a few laughs ..... Let's do it again next year :


(http://i962.photobucket.com/albums/ae110/shootnrun_photos/Christmas/funny-christmas-tree-set-up-house-light.jpg)