Embarrassing incidents, yours or someone else's?

[sandman]

I mate was helping me paint a wall on the outside of a house I renovated anout a decade ago. He was using a 5" grinder witha  wire brush to remove all the flaky paint before painting. He lowered the grinder for a second to check what he was doing and unaware the brush hit his crotch and got tangled in his stubbies. It was one with the toggle switch on the back end and he was struggling to turn it off while keeping the spinny end away from his danglies. Anyway fortunately I noticed and was able to pull the plug from the wall.

When all my mate sat down to regain his composure he checked and there was scuff marks from the grinder on his jocks. He came blisteringly close to never having kids that day!

[Jeepers Creepers]

Way back in about 86 or 87, i use to be a mechanic, who specialised in Rolls Royce, Jags, Fiats and Mercs. True thing huh.

Anyway, we had an apprentice there who would get honours in the tech side of things, but wasn't great with the  hands on thing.

We also had a spotless workshop as well, with 20 litre oil drums converted to rubbish bins placed around, so everything went in the correct spot.

Well, good ol Graham the apprentice, is hammering away at something in the vice and in this workshop, that didn't happen very often, as we had all the correct pullers, presses etc for doing the artsie fartsie stuff.

So, i've stopped what i'm doing and said to Graham from across the worshop, "what are you bashing the crap out of?"

All i can hear, is whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, splat.....

The idiot has bashed his thumb a cracker, so he drops the hammer and holding his "bashed thumb hand" with his good one, he's running around like a chook minus its noggin.

He was making many references to God, about fornicating, his thumb, the fact it hurt and he wasn't happy.

Me being me, was pissing myself laughing, because it wasn't my thumb. 

Now, running around like a f*ckwit looking at your thumb in a workshop, isn't good.
The idiot runs strainght into a front wheel of a car up on the lift/hoist and has bashed his nose and forehead.
He hit it hard too, as he stumbled back, he tripped backwards over a 20 litre rubbish bin falling arse over elbow onto the floor.

Geez, now i ran over to see if he was ok and he had tears in his eyes, as the start of a nosebleed was trickling down his face and he had a small gash on his forehead.

He got an early mark that day, as he was gunna be usless anyway.

His Mum rang up later that day to complain to the boss i was laughing at him.

[Lori]

Casually glanced out the window last week and happened to see my husband reversing the camper into the driveway. He was doing very well, shame about the wheely bins he ran over the top of though! 

And no, the bins weren't laying on their side until he hit them. Before that they were the regular type just waiting innocently by thee roadside for collection.

[speewa158]

Wondered into a chemist shop & inquired if they had any big bandaids , told No . Lass inquired what l needed them for  As l had just cut the top off my thumb when l was supposed to be purning roses . Wraped it in paper napkin & grffer tape as you do 1 1/2 hour later it stoped bleeding & my thumd was inside its own cast of napkin & blood . This time it seemed to heal faster than the time before but lets not go there 

[evolution]

What is it with you "lawnies" and causing yourself serious bodily harm? Im starting to wonder if 2 stroke fumes should be made illegal! 

Cheers
Evo

[MR MAC GU]

Thanks Mal...


Sent from Behind you...BOO

[Rumpig]

Thanks Mal...

anytime mate... anytime 

[Rob C]

Moral of the story is don,t try and take a Bee,s dick off a small piece of timber with a very large and fast electric planer.

Ouch!!

[tagman]

Many years ago, I was working maintenance at a slaughter house.

There was a Shit pump in the cattle yards and the discharge pipe (2inch poly) had blocked.

We found the heavy part of the pipe were we thought the block was, and me and another guy were into it with a hacksaw. We knew what would happen.....but had little choice.

As soon as the saw pierced the pipe it tore open, and off I ran.
It did not matter how fast I ran, how much I dodged or weaved, that 2 inches of Shit followed me.

It hit me first in the ankle and finally blew the hard hat off my head!

The other guy working with me had bareley moved from the spot and did not have a drop on him.

Even at the time it was bloody funny and still is.

[fishfinder]

A few years back matter of fact about a decade ago, it was school holidays and at the time the other half and myself was camping at Shark Bay went into Denham for a quick fish off the jetty, and every first time fisher dads and their boys were trying for squid. So Mr fishfinder asked one of these dads what was they after he said squid but has had no luck, so I dropped my squid jig in  seconds later ink on the jetty. This fisher dad turned to me and said he thought the squid was sea weed and he told his boy not to place the jig near it, any way I just smiled and placed this squid on a live bait rig, the fisher dad asked what was I doing I said I was after a snapper or bluebone, he looked at his son and said this man knows what he is doing you watch fisher son he will have a big fish in no time, so I winked at the boy cocky as and said your fisher dad is right watch this I let out this mighty cast as I said it and yep I let go of the lot rod and all. 

[ozbogwam]

Not sure if this embarrassing or awesome, depends on which one you are.


Many years back there used to be a lot of shark fishing off the Tathra Wharf. We knew quite a few of them. One night we were out there checking how they were going. In addition to the shark fisherman at the top of the wharf, we're lots of dads with their kids.

Well our mate who was fishing for bait suddenly yells "got one" gives a big heave and a kid nearby suddenly flies off the wharf into the water 18 feet below. Then in goes dad to get his son and then 4 of the shark fisherman to help them out.