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Author Topic: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)  (Read 37304 times)

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Offline whitedg

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #75 on: March 13, 2012, 08:07:22 AM »
Also, be nice to your kids - they will be the ones to pick your retirement home (if they can catch me - I plan on spending most of my retirement as a grey nomad  :D)

Cheers
whitedg
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Offline austastar

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #76 on: March 13, 2012, 10:12:06 AM »
Hi,
1.  When disconnecting the vehicle battery, remember the cables are still alive if the camper is still plugged in.

2.  60A fuses are not stocked in every automotive parts store.

cheers
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Offline Victim

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #77 on: March 13, 2012, 01:01:35 PM »

Men, when having a wee ALWAYS do it down wind!!!!
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Offline HEM19X

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #78 on: March 15, 2012, 07:26:48 AM »
Never allow anybody who has petrol to try & re-start a fire - especially when you are not looking.

Never fertilize your lawn shortly before a torrential downpour.

Never try to stop a drill bit from scratching the 4by with your fingers.

The statement "I can hit the golf ball over/under/around that tree" is a BIG mistake & will cost you dearly!
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Offline Chippy76

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #79 on: March 15, 2012, 09:04:27 AM »
Quote from: Victim on March 13, 2012, 01:01:35 PM
Men, when having a wee ALWAYS do it down wind!!!!

When we went to Tasmania for our honey moon, we travelled to Stanley, and took the chairlift to the top. It was VERY windy and I was busting for a pee.  As there was no one around (no one was mad enough) I had a pee then and there ....sadly I peed INTO the wind, and copped it back on the leg of my jeans. My wife could not stop laughing at me. And I finally learnt  the meaning of my Dads saying "never p*ss into the wind"!

Cheers Chippy :D
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Offline Tommo66

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #80 on: March 15, 2012, 09:28:04 AM »
one should always be cautious of where one puts one's d!ck and one's signature.
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Offline phatassphairy

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #81 on: March 15, 2012, 03:09:07 PM »
Quote from: brickiematt on March 03, 2012, 11:34:16 AM
When the wife is searching for something to hang in the car window to keep the sun off the kids, dont suggest a pair of her undies >:D :o

blahhhhhhhhhh .

This is a bit of wisdom that my children have been raised with ...i use this is when i am at the end of my tether and i am about to brake out in full >:D mode....

Listen (childs name) when you have wiped my ass as often as i have wiped yours, then  we will do it your way ..but until then for both our sakes and safety (((what is relevant at the time of melt down))) ie ,,get in the car now!!!!

and the other tip for the kids ....that was set upon only on the eldest when she was 14 (at this stage).....
when you say to mum and dad ...it is so shame mum to have you drop me out the front of the party were everybody will see and it would be better for me if you could just drop us (her and her friends that you picked up on the way) around the corner.....that this is a far better option then having mum drive up the driveway and beep the horn, get out of the car in her uncool house clothes and yell across the car .... oh darling i am just checking did you brush your teeth tonight ...cause i can bring your toothbrush back for you if you need. ..... a moment of sweet bitter love  :cup: :cup: :cup: bless them .
« Last Edit: March 15, 2012, 03:29:25 PM by phatassphairy »
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Offline TOPNDR

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #82 on: March 15, 2012, 05:36:39 PM »
Quote from: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:02:18 PM
#2.....  (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......

I read some of the posts on this tread to Mrs T, laughing a lot, I couldn't get all the way through. 

Her response to the above comment was to suggest the following retort.

Well at least I don't look like Your mother!
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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #83 on: March 15, 2012, 07:14:59 PM »
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOPNDR is the winner  :cup: The whole idea of this was to have a laugh, even at my $$$ . some funny $hit has come out. Just remember, if you can have a laugh all is not that bad.
Another pearl....... if you plant feathers you won't grow chooks! :cheers:
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Offline Join_Em

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #84 on: March 16, 2012, 07:04:32 PM »
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer

 :cup:
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Offline Swannie

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #85 on: March 16, 2012, 07:12:52 PM »
Quote from: Join_Em on March 16, 2012, 07:04:32 PM
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer

 :cup:

 :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup
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Offline cruisindub

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #86 on: March 16, 2012, 09:09:37 PM »
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.
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Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?"
Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it....

Offline Swannie

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #87 on: March 16, 2012, 09:11:40 PM »
Quote from: cruisindub on March 16, 2012, 09:09:37 PM
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.
What happened mate?
Greg
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Offline GGV8Cruza

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #88 on: March 16, 2012, 09:21:37 PM »
Quote from: cruisindub on March 16, 2012, 09:09:37 PM
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.

 :worthles:
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Offline maurerless

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #89 on: March 16, 2012, 09:42:12 PM »
Quote from: whitedg on March 13, 2012, 08:07:22 AM
Also, be nice to your kids - they will be the ones to pick your retirement home (if they can catch me - I plan on spending most of my retirement as a grey nomad  :D)

Cheers
whitedg

When I die, I want to peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did... not screaming like the passengers in his car. ;D

Also, don't rub your eyes after cutting chilli...
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Offline Tjupurula

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #90 on: March 16, 2012, 10:28:08 PM »
Quote from: gibbo301 on March 06, 2012, 11:19:05 AM
Remember when over 50 it's dry dreams and wet farts  :'(

Have you ben talking to my grandchidren....It took me a while to understand why they kept calling me an "old fart".
Tjupurula
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Offline cruisindub

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #91 on: March 17, 2012, 05:57:01 PM »
Quote from: swannie OB on March 16, 2012, 09:11:40 PM
What happened mate?
Greg
Slipped and cut my finger on the blade, swore, cracked the Shits and spat the dummy, punched the window, cut my hand, cracked the glass, swore, cracked the Shits and spat the dummy and kicked the step stool and broke
,yep you guessed it, one of the lowlights glass.
So yeah, expensive exercise, and not to mention the extra grief from the good wife,it all went horribly wrong.
Unfortunately Cruisindub wasn't his usual cruisy self.
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Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?"
Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it....

Offline Mace

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #92 on: March 17, 2012, 06:16:25 PM »
Quote from: cruisindub on March 16, 2012, 09:09:37 PM
, with a couple of rums under your belt it all went wrong.

I think I can see something here!

 :cheers:
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Offline speewa158

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #93 on: March 17, 2012, 06:23:17 PM »
Quote from: Join_Em on March 16, 2012, 07:04:32 PM
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer
How much Beer  :cheers:
 :cup:
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Offline bullfrog

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #94 on: March 17, 2012, 06:26:13 PM »
When emptying a Porta Pottie into a hole in the ground, stand with feet well apart before pushing the air bleed button. A close stance while wearing thongs is not nice......
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Offline Swannie

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #95 on: March 17, 2012, 08:46:55 PM »
Quote from: cruisindub on March 17, 2012, 05:57:01 PM
Slipped and cut my finger on the blade, swore, cracked the ****s and spat the dummy, punched the window, cut my hand, cracked the glass, swore, cracked the ****s and spat the dummy and kicked the step stool and broke
,yep you guessed it, one of the lowlights glass.
So yeah, expensive exercise, and not to mention the extra grief from the good wife,it all went horribly wrong.
Unfortunately Cruisindub wasn't his usual cruisy self.

Cruisin Dub, where abouts are you, I may be able to help get your glass replaced?
Greg
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Offline areyonga

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #96 on: March 17, 2012, 08:52:33 PM »
NEVER, take sleeping tablets and laxettes at the same time
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Offline Tjupurula

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #97 on: March 17, 2012, 10:05:06 PM »
Quote from: areyonga on March 17, 2012, 08:52:33 PM
NEVER, take sleeping tablets and laxettes at the same time

Yep, that reminds me of one I learned the hard way.........Never use laxative chocolates to make a chocolate cake for a kids birthday party, did that only once, never again.
Tjupurula
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Offline TroyE

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Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #98 on: March 19, 2012, 08:49:27 PM »
Quote from: maurerless on March 16, 2012, 09:42:12 PM
When I die, I want to peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did... not screaming like the passengers in his car. ;D

Also, don't rub your eyes after cutting chilli...
and don't take a leek before you wash your hands (very well) yep learnt that one the hard way in my first year as an apprentice chef
troy
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Offline BigJules

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Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
« Reply #99 on: March 19, 2012, 08:55:37 PM »
Always remove the fill plug before the drain plug when changing fluids in your vehicle.
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