A thought I'd give this a bit of an update.
We have looked at a few places now. Some are very upfront about how prices work, and some ........ well, they have to be poked to get answers, even then, there is little specifics.
There seems to be a few common ways of doing this self contained retirement living thing.
eg 1.
A place near me wants just over $400,000 and that is it. There is a rent on the land your dwelling you own sits upon which is like a body corp fee. This fee goes to the grounds and service maintenance costs. Because there is a rent for the land, dad can get rent assistance on his pension, this reduces the cost by a 3rd. The place is a 5 star resort, and 5 star it certainly is. Dad was well impressed. Other costs are your own building and contents insurance, electricity and what ever. No rates as your not strata title.
eg. 2
Another place offers a similar dwelling but less then half the price to purchase, the monthly fee is reduced compared to the other place but is strata titled so you pay rates as well as the fees for the grounds etc. When selling, there is a large fee, a slice of capital gains, and other costs which must be paid to the owners. A lot of folk like it this way as they keep a large sum of money in thier pocket to live with and the dept are..... well, someone elses problem. This place must be renovated on sale, to the standards set by the grounds management.
I also found another place which has a different variation on the above, they rent you the land but you pay them big fees when leaving.
The 1 gent I spoke with who had trouble giving clear answers, I just told him that his outfit may be ligit, but his answers are dodgy so we are not interested.
My dad is preferring the first option, as he's the sort of bloke who is old school and rather pay for things now.