The other night I was invited out for a night with the "boys."
The wife was a bit nicked off too, saying how last time i came home rolling drunk at some ungodly hour, she really laid down the law.
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the drinks went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., fully loaded, I headed for home.
Just ............as I got in the door, the bloody cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing the wife would probably wake up or stir, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning, the wife asked me what time I got in, I told her "MIDNIGHT"... and she didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!
Then she said "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked her why, and she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh f*#k", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, started laughing, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table while screaming "my f*#king shin" and then farted.
Listen JC, I think you're doing this wrong mate ??? I used to try those tricks and always got caught :'( but not anymore >:D
So what's the answer ?
Simple, when I get home late I kick the dog as I come in, slam the door, drop my shoes in the hallway and strip off as I get to the bedroom, I rip the sheets back off the bed, give the cheese and kisses a slap on the arse and say "how about a bit" and ya know what,
she's sound asleep EVERY bloody time