MySwag.org The Off-road Camper Trailer Forum
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: griz066 on December 29, 2012, 07:16:16 AM
-
Had the bil and sil and 2 kids stay for a few days over xmas, they are always welcome and we had a great time over a few beers a few bbq's a round of golf etc etc.
The problem is the 2 kids the boy is 4 the girl is 6, parents are early 30's.
The kids have never been smacked for doing something wrong, never even been spoken to in a raised voice and know no boundaries.
Example 1, they were given a small puppy for xmas and the boy has dragged it by the legs up onto his lap, the pup is protesting and tries to escape and is now hanging over the edge of the chair being held by the back legs yelping in pain. The father is watching doing nothing, finally the mother asks the boy to stop please, the boy does not stop, she politely asks again with please and the boy stands up tipping the pup on the ground on its head. The mother then grabs his hand and says ******* thats not nice and he starts to do that pathetic whiney baby cry [no tears] so she picks him up and cuddles him and says sorry.
Example 2, The little pup is just adorable and is a very active little thing, after a little nap on the couch it springs off the couch and is running around the lounge room as they do. The boy grabs the pup and puts it back on the couch, but before he is back seated again the pup has jumped off. So the boy once again grabs the pup and returns it to the couch this time holding onto its front leg while he gets on the couch. Just as he is seated the pup breaks free and makes a jump for it and the boy almost grabs his hind legs but misses, but it was enough to unbalance the pup and it crashes on the floor head first and topples over very awkwardly with its neck bent back under its body. The father is right there and does nothing, this time the mother grabs the boy by the arm and pulls him close [ i am thinking about bloody time this kid copped one] but nope he starts that same pathetic cry and she picks him up and says its ok ******* thats enough ******* then holds the boy upside down and says I will shake your silly's out.
In the spirit of Xmas I held my tongue, but was like WTF guys, this boy needs to know where the boundaries are, you aren't doing him any favors like this. As soon as he goes to kindy next year the other boys are gunna flog the bejeebas out of him, no one likes a spoilt little bully boy who can't take what he dishes out.
Thinking back to my childhood days I know I would have received a corrective action if I had done those things. Probably a smack for #1 and the strap for #2 because I didn't learn from #1. Neither of my parents would have thought I was silly and needed the silly's shaken out of me.
Is this normal new age parenting? If so then no wonder some kids are the way they are.
-
Thinking back to my childhood days I know I would have received a corrective action if I had done those things. Probably a smack for #1 and the strap for #2 because I didn't learn from #1. Neither of my parents would have thought I was silly and needed the silly's shaken out of me.
x2
This is going to get interesting.
-
I'm an "older" parent. We don't generally smack but I'm not in principle against it. with or without smack, our kids definitely know when they're in trouble. It's a cop out to fail to to prepare your kids to live in the real word which does not revolve around them. The "kindness" of over indulgent parenting is actually hurting them in the long run.
-
Sticks a finger in each ear and goes lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
I don't smack my kids, anymore
1. I smacked my daughter a few times when she was 3 or 4. I felt like a prick, and it didn't do anygood. All I have to do is give her the look or raise my voice and the jobs done.
2. When my son was about the same age after a smack he would try and hit back, so that didn't work. Again the look or raise my voice is enough.
I have seen people smack the crap out of their kids and it doesn't seem to get a good result for either kid or parent.
I am not judgmental, do what you think is right, but smacking just doesn't work for me.
Sounds like the dad in the OP doesn't take to being a parent to well.
Cheers Nomad.
-
Discipline and smacking are two completely different things.
You can manage your childrens behaviour without needing to smack routinely you just have to be constantly correcting inappropriate behaviour. On the odd occasion that we do smack we actually hold the childs hand in our and smack across it hitting our hand but not theirs. The effect is the same.
Kids are like border collies. They are smarter than us, can achieve just about anything with a little direction. You get no where by ignoring or belting them. You just need to engage with them constantly and lightly but consistently modify inappropriate behaviour.
Sounds like your relo's are simply lazy.
-
x2
This is going to get interesting.
lmao.. it sure is, going to make another coffee..
but on another note,,, the kid would have got my boot up his A***.!
BHG
-
We have the house rules on the wall ..and the punishments ..my kids both know and understand the rules.
In extreme events a smack is handed down as the punishment, however I explain to the kids that as a signatory to the house rules ,I am now forced to issue the smack , and it,s due to your behaviour..not because I like or want to smack you..
As soon as we put the rules and punishments on the wall it also helped me as sometimes if I was in a good mood I would let things slide and the next day the same event would result in a smack.
I quickly realised that this inconsistency was the worst thing I could be doing and I never trained dogs this way , so up went the house rules .
A smack is just another form of discipline ,but far to often it becomes the only ...
Since house rules went up 2 years ago only a few serious offences resulting in a smack and my 6 yo has learnt to self regulate his behaviour as he knows the consequences.
I,m happy to discipline with smacks ,but the child must understand that it is a consequence of their choice ...this way maybe just maybe my kids will grow up understanding the consequences of their choices in life.
This is touchy thread and I only wanted to say what I do ..not saying it,s right and am respectful of other parents choices ...unless pissed parent is flogging a kid for no real reason , then it gets very messy in the campground when the kid runs into your camper and says help me please.
Jet ;D ;D
-
Do we now smack? No.
Have we smacked? Yes, when the kids were smaller. Now we don't need to because the kids know there are consequences for doing the wrong thing. Now that they are older we discipline them through missing events/sport etc (rare).
Boy 11, Girl 8 and we can take them anywhere knowing that they re going to be good kids. They were given discipline straight up and it has paid dividends.
I had a good mate who had kids the same age as ours. Told me he didn't hit his kids. I told him I could tell :D I said, "don't think you're doing you're kids any favours by not smacking their ass for being outright little sh---s". A couple of years later I saw him again and he reminded me of my statement and said he had taken it on board. The kids were now a pleasure to be around and had tremendous respect for the parents.
Some people discipline in different ways. The key I believe is the children knowing that there will be a consequence one way or another for intentional poor behaviour.
P.S. There is a clear difference between a smack and a belting. I don't tolerate beltings and believe that any parent who flogs their children should be flogged themselves.
In regards to the original post, the kid with the puppy should have got a smack across the ass. My opinion only.
-
Give the little S#$%s a whack when needed. There are times you can talk till you're blue in the face and it means jack turd to them. >:(
Don't give me this crap about a naughty corner or taking their toys, xbox, playstaion and whatever abcdbox off them. They know that all they have to do is wait, yeah that's right and they will get it back. ;)
I have even thrown mine in the cold shower when they have tried a temper tantrum on me and smashed into a gazillion pieces a toy, after they broke something of ours' ;D
Also chased my 14yr old son (I was 52) out of the house and caught him in the yard after he was giving me attitude. Dragged him back inside and made it amply clear to him, that if, he wants to carry on like some fool adult, then I would have no problem sitting him on his arse. ;D
There comes a point when all the talk in the world will mean nothing and they know they can make your life hell, so I show them what evil looks like and that worked. >:D
Foo
-
Jetcrew, without wishing to take the thread off topic, It would be interesting to see your house rules and punishments.
-
Pretty simple in my house, if your naughty and don't listen they cop it, and if anyone ever tries to stop me they will cop it too, they are my kids not anyone else's. And if anyone ever meets my girls (and many on here have) they are 3 of the most well mannered and disciplined little girls :)
-
Pretty simple in my house, if your naughty and don't listen they cop it, and if anyone ever tries to stop me they will cop it too, they are my kids not anyone else's :)
Nothing wrong with your rules BD .
Both my kids have been smacked before .... now they dont do anything that warrants being smacked .
When they are out and about , I have had other people comment on how good our kids are .
Getting smacked never hurt us and I am sure it wont hurt them .
I will love to see in about 10-15 years time , all these beautiful little turds that haven't been smacked , see what generation of kids we have got regarding respect / discipline , when these kids start to breed .
-
Pretty simple in my house, if your naughty and don't listen they cop it, and if anyone ever tries to stop me they will cop it too, they are my kids not anyone else's. And if anyone ever meets my girls (and many on here have) they are 3 of the most well mannered and disciplined little girls :)
Same rule applies as BD. And my 2 boys are generally well behaved and the baby girl is perfect >:D
As for BD girls they are great except when they sing one direction. !
Swannie
-
I,m happy to discipline with smacks ,but the child must understand that it is a consequence of their choice ...this way maybe just maybe my kids will grow up understanding the consequences of their choices in life.
Jet ;D ;D
Boy 11, Girl 8 and we can take them anywhere knowing that they re going to be good kids. They were given discipline straight up and it has paid dividends.
You just need to engage with them constantly and lightly but consistently modify inappropriate behaviour.
That's what I am talking about, this boy knows no boundaries, you dont need to flog them but they need to know where the line is.
I know if I got smacked I didn't do whatever I did again as I knew what wold happen. As others have said we smacked out kids when they did wrong and they then knew where the line was [and rarely crossed it] now they are grown and are wonderfully well rounded productive members of society with good values and morals. I dread to think how my nephew will turn out if they keep up this style of parenting.
Sticks a finger in each ear and goes lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
I don't smack my kids, anymore
1. I smacked my daughter a few times when she was 3 or 4. I felt like a prick, and it didn't do any good. Why didn't it work?
2. When my son was about the same age after a smack he would try and hit back, so that didn't work. So your son thinks it is ok to hit back? How did you deal with that?
Cheers Nomad.
-
I will love to see in about 10-15 years time , all these beautiful little turds that haven't been smacked , see what generation of kids we have got regarding respect / discipline , when these kids start to breed .
It is already here, have you been to a shopping centre lately and witnessed the current crop of 12-16 year olds...
-
Both our children now aged 30 and 24 have told us that they are glad we smacked them when they were little. Mum used to say to them "I love you too much to let you be naughty".
I'm with Nomad, can't say I remember smacking my daughter, just had to look at her.
Now, do fathers favour daughters and mothers favour sons ? Maybe that's big enough for a thread of it's own. ;D
-
We too smacked sometimes. We have three sons and they are all different personalities, and different discipling techniques worked at different times, however sometimes a smack was given. One day, I was in the Doctors surgery with my youngest son (probably about 3 or 4 at the time) and he was touching the Doctors light over the examination bed. I asked him not to do that and gently guided him away. He went back and did it again, and I again guided him away but said pretty sternly - don't touch that again. He went straight back and touched it again - I smacked him. Then thought "Oh sxxt - this will be interesting" as the Doctor was sitting there watching. The Doctor looked at me and said (and even after all these years I can remember his words) - "I wish more parents would do that"!!!!!
-
Both our children now aged 30 and 24 have told us that they are glad we smacked them when they were little. Mum used to say to them "I love you too much to let you be naughty".
I'm with Nomad, can't say I remember smacking my daughter, just had to look at her.
Now, do fathers favour daughters and mothers favour sons ? Maybe that's big enough for a thread of it's own. ;D
Definitely never bought into daddy's little girl until I had one ;D
-
We too smacked sometimes. We have three sons and they are all different personalities, and different discipling techniques worked at different times,
Funny how they are all different.
-
Horses for courses as I found over the years with my 20 something son and daughter nowadays. Just threaten to paddle her young backside fo being naughty and it was off in a huff indignantly to her bedroom and the frosty treatment for dad at the very thought of it. With the eldest son he had a touch of the Devil in him and always liked to push the bounds and test you out.
First smack in his high chair after playing with his food and I scold him. Then he looks at me with cheesy grin and proceeds to drop spoonfuls of mush on the floor so I say don't do that, taking the spoon away, put it up on the sink and sit down to our meal agin. Wah wah holding out arm for his spoon to no effect so he stops that and then slowly but surely picks up the bowl and holds it out over the side of the high chair looking at me with that cheesy grin again. Me looking him straight in the eye with a stern- No don't do that! upon which he tips it over ever so deliberately and then dumps it on the floor with that- Whatcha gunna do about that big feller look. First smack on the back of the hand that's what and so it began. What do you do when he can walk and wants to play games pulling away from you to run on the road because it gets a reaction from the big dudes? Let him get run over? A firm smack on the legs is kinder in the long run in my book until you find yourself smacking in anger or frustration occasionally and the guilt trip so we decide we'll do the talk only thing until he claps his hands over his ears and walks away from you.
That's when hit upon the word 'disobey' and third utterance from me means an automatic smack if you ignore the first two times I call you out with it and relative peace and harmony ensue after that. ie We'll be with a bunch of families and kids are running amok and I turn to my two and say don't do that or you'll 'disobey' me and they know what that means particularly after the second magic word reminder. While you wince at some parents with that puppy nonsense other parents note how well behaved yours always are (well in public anyway).
The disobey line in the sand moves accordingly with their age and experience but there's always that young bull/old bull tension with dads and sons. Cocky boss of the wash in Grade 7 and I've told him I want his room tidy before school or else and I hear the door go and it's not done as he's off out the drive on his BMX and I'm out like a shot calling him back and all I get is the finger and up yours! I think of the old man's strap and school cane in my wild days and no way you're dismissing that upbringing sonny boy so I was waiting at the school gate with my belt in hand knowing full well Mr Cool would be some time hanging out with his other mates until the last tick. He never saw me coming with a quick flick around the back of the legs plus- And if that room isn't spotless when I get home tonite you know what to expect! It didn't have to be hard just enough to sting the pride in front of his mates and a couple of teachers, including the sports mistress who could barely control their smirks as I strode off.
Self employed with apprentice in tow, captain of the footy team with men 10 years his senior and other dads tell me what a fine young man I have on my hands but they can thank his grandfather and my grandfather for that and he'll teach his sons the same or else!
-
different disciplining techniques worked at different times,
Couldn't agree more.
This is also the case with different children, all three of ours needed to be dealt with differently. And has they grow older this changes as well, what worked last year doesn't seem to have the same effect as it use to, so we need to change our thinking and actions. Kids need boundaries.
On another note, I can see adults now that need a good smack, just to pull them into line at times. >:D Of cause, this is just my Opinion ;D
Maybe this is the result of poor disciplining when they were kids. Just saying.
:cheers:
-
Do we agree with smacking yes.
Do we smack no.
Are we strict parents try to be.
Are our girls well behaved not bad.
-
On another note, I can see adults now that need a good smack, just to pull them into line at times. >:D Of cause, this is just my Opinion ;D
Maybe this is the result of poor disciplining when they were kids. Just saying.
:cheers:
x2.....see it at work all the time.....
-
We have the house rules on the wall ..and the punishments ..my kids both know and understand the rules.
In extreme events a smack is handed down as the punishment, however I explain to the kids that as a signatory to the house rules ,I am now forced to issue the smack , and it,s due to your behaviour..not because I like or want to smack you..
As soon as we put the rules and punishments on the wall it also helped me as sometimes if I was in a good mood I would let things slide and the next day the same event would result in a smack.
I quickly realised that this inconsistency was the worst thing I could be doing and I never trained dogs this way , so up went the house rules .
A smack is just another form of discipline ,but far to often it becomes the only ...
Since house rules went up 2 years ago only a few serious offences resulting in a smack and my 6 yo has learnt to self regulate his behaviour as he knows the consequences.
I,m happy to discipline with smacks ,but the child must understand that it is a consequence of their choice ...this way maybe just maybe my kids will grow up understanding the consequences of their choices in life.
This is touchy thread and I only wanted to say what I do ..not saying it,s right and am respectful of other parents choices ...unless pissed parent is flogging a kid for no real reason , then it gets very messy in the campground when the kid runs into your camper and says help me please.
Jet ;D ;D
Totally agree. The rules are there for all parties and need to be consistency in the enforcement of the rules. But as the kids grow the rules need to be flexible to allow for boundary movements.
Yes we smacked our kids and we sat down with our kids and explained why it happened. Only needed to be done a couple of times and then the voice and look was enough for them to think about their behaviour.
As for other peoples kids that come to our place. I have a saying for them, and their parents, "My House, My Rules" My sil used to stay with us with her spoilt brats of kids. They have never been told NO and never been smacked. She like other sheep followed the Super Nanny and introduced the Naughty Mat. On the rare occasion she sent one of the brats to sit on the Naughty Mat, the cherub has picked the mat up holding it to her bottom proceeded to walk around the house. The sil thought it was so cute she couldn't do anything about it. Anyhow they used to stay with us on trips through to visit the parents in law. I used to bite my tongue to keep the peace with my bride but once they asked something and for safety reasons I said NO. Well wasn't I the ogre. I said a word they had never heard before. Anyhow they still break the journey but rather then stay with us they now pay for accommodation and visit us or ask us to come to see them.
Another thing to note with whole behavioural issue with kids. The Child Protection Policy came in in the late 90's, and since then a lot of parents have this mistaken belief they can not lawfully chastise their children and use it as an excuse for not being a parent to productively raise their children, preferring to let their children just run loose on Society and then blame society for their children's behaviour. We are already seeing a second generation of kids coming through that know nothing of our Society's values or principles.
-
Give the little S#$%s a whack when needed. There are times you can talk till you're blue in the face and it means jack turd to them. >:(
Don't give me this crap about a naughty corner or taking their toys, xbox, playstaion and whatever abcdbox off them. They know that all they have to do is wait, yeah that's right and they will get it back
:cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup:
-
Pretty simple in my house, if your naughty and don't listen they cop it, and if anyone ever tries to stop me they will cop it too, they are my kids not anyone else's. And if anyone ever meets my girls (and many on here have) they are 3 of the most well mannered and disciplined little girls :)
sounds so familiar
I'm proud to say it is a very rare occasion to get to that point anymore.
My little brother said I run a Gestapo Camp yet now my kids are little angels. He and SIL on the other hand never so "NO" and never discipline in any form. OMG the kids can be so feral! I don't stand for it. If they treat any of my stuff like they treat their own I go off and so does SWMBO. I don't care who's kids it is when it comes to hurting animals I wont stand for it.
Years ago SWMBO and I were looking after SWMBO's nephews. As we walked out of a bank in a local shopping centre the eldest head butted, kicked, scratched and pulled a hand full of hair off SWMBO because she said no. In seeing this I pulled him off her and smacked his A55. A couple passing by made a fowl mouthed protest to me for doing so. I offered them the same for their fowl mouths, they learnt...they zipped it and behaved them selves from that point ;D
I have 2 couples that have been friends of ours for 15years that swore that they were never going down the kids path, but now blame my kids for them changing their minds.
Im not saying my kids are perfect but I would say their near enough to be so proud of them. Even more so when others comment on their manners, politeness, and their behaviour. My kids spent a lot of time going back and forth from the hospital when I was being treated for "C." No it was not ideal to be taking them there but I wanted to spend every chance I could with them and it was hard to get sitters at times. There was never an issue and the nurses even commented on their manners etc. My brother and SIL cant even go to their local GP with their kids, they dive the 1hr drive to our place or mums to have them looked after.
And yes my dad would smack me when I was out of line and he to never liked it but knew it was for my own good. He also reminded me that if I felt the need to hit back one day as I got older that he goes to bed after me and is up before me....& to sleep with an eye open!!!!
One very proud dad
-
Couldn't agree more.
This is also the case with different children, all three of ours needed to be dealt with differently. And has they grow older this changes as well, what worked last year doesn't seem to have the same effect as it use to, so we need to change our thinking and actions. Kids need boundaries.
I also agree with this. We had one that you could talk till you were blue in the face and it made no difference - whereas a smack did. The next son could be reasoned with really well (still got a smack when he needed it though), and then the third son was a mixture of the other two. An example - tell them "don't touch the iron because it is hot and it will burn you" - the first one would touch it to see what would happen, the second son would think about it for a while and then never go near the iron again, and the third son - well that depended on his temper at the time (he is a red head after all)!!
We must have done something right though - they are all grown up, are nice men with lots of friends, have good jobs, seem to like to spend time with us, are kind to their friends and animals, and respect other people's belongings. They all have different likes and things they like to do, but still enjoy each other's company (well not all the time!!)
-
No Children here but up until this year I worked 15 years in childcare, I have seen the effects of no discipline in homes. Children who think everything is theirs and will belt, bite, kick yell, cry to do whatever they can to get it. I was firm but fair in childcare and most of the children I cared for respected that, they came to me with a smile and wanted to interract with me but they also knew that there were rules and sharing, most of these were toddlers and in my most recent position parents often commented on how well behaved the room I worked in were for 15 toddlers together they sat at the table to eat knew about hand washing and packing up. This was helped by the fact the 2 ladies I worked with also had similar ideas. Parents would say "how do you get them to lay still whilst you change them" but they just did.
I was smacked as a child and whilst it hurt at the time there are much worse things that can happen. And I knew right from wrong and could be taken places for meals and to the supermarket.
As for the thing with the dog I would not have been able to hold my tongue where an animal was involved it would not of mattered who's child it was I would have to speak up.
-
As for the thing with the dog I would not have been able to hold my tongue where an animal was involved it would not of mattered who's child it was I would have to speak up.
I 'd agree with that.. that dogs going to have a hideous life with that kid, adn end up defending itself one day and get put down cause after 4 yrs of constant abuse from the useless kid/parents it defended itself.
ymmv
-
23 years of Military life, I tend to be pretty firm on my two. Whilst my older girl (5 year old) doesn't really require much contact counciling (smacking) as a raised voice or stern look and she responds. Now, my 4year old son on the other hand does require a little more, no, a lot more as he is very mischievous, no, he's a turd(in the nices possible way). He does spend a fair amount of time in the naughty corner and does get his fair amount of smacks. The rule I have with smacking is, one hit, one only to the bottom but it is worthy of the effort and will be remembered. Trying to reason, negotiate with a 4 year old just doesn't work and these do gooders that tell you different have no fx$king idea. If my little man plays up in a shopping centre or public place I pinch his ear, primarily to get his attention. He does promptly stop his antics and you have not smacked him to worry about the do gooders. I was smacked(flogged) as a child and am personally not a fan of flogging a child but a firm smack is definatly in order when warranted......:-)
-
My brothers got two girls, cute as can be. Love them both to bits.
6 and 4. The 6 year old is gorgeous, and has learning difficulties. Shes slightly handicapped, but makes up for it in character.
The 4 year old is pretty switched on and is quickly overtaking the 6 year old.
The youngest is just like her father, my older brother. Shes quite a laugh and quite a bit cheeky.
I pissed myseld laughing one day when she innocently said she didnt mind going to the naughty step, (at the bottom of the stairs) as she goes up stairs and plays with her toys..... No wonder they thought she was so quiet when put to the naughty step.
I dont know how Id react as a father. I was belted, with leather belt, quite a few times and quite hard, and I would never do that.
I would like to think that with love, respect, boundaries and teachings of right and wrong, clear goals, fun and laughter and educate on what is expected and tolerated, I could raise my children properly.
Scariest thought in the world being a parent and repsonsible for the upbringing of children.
-
I 'd agree with that.. that dogs going to have a hideous life with that kid, adn end up defending itself one day and get put down cause after 4 yrs of constant abuse from the useless kid/parents it defended itself.
ymmv
And Lost I agree with your part as well dogs need raising too and if they are not looked after they most likely will defend themselves
-
Sticks a finger in each ear and goes lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
I don't smack my kids, anymore
1. I smacked my daughter a few times when she was 3 or 4. I felt like a prick, and it didn't do any good. Why didn't it work?
2. When my son was about the same age after a smack he would try and hit back, so that didn't work. So your son thinks it is ok to hit back? How did you deal with that?
Cheers Nomad.
Hey Grizz,
It didn't work for my daughter because whilst she learnt that I was upset with her for doing something wrong, she didn't really understand why, and she was very communicative at that age so I found that a stern word and an explanation of why I was unhappy was much more effective.
When my wife smacked Sam, he simply copied that behaviour, and when he was unhappy with either his sister, mum or I, he would immediately resort to the smack, you have to remember he was only about 2 1/2 to 3 years old so that behaviour was simply a copy cat scenario. We find now that a stern word or the evil eye, or threatening to take something he values, not just a toy, away from him is much more effective.
As I said in my original post I don't have a problem with anyone doing it, it just doesn't seem to work for me.
I got the belt from my father and the headmaster.....it never really achieved anything for them, but a stern word from either would have me seriously contemplating my actions. I guess my kids heads work in the same way.
Cheers Nomad.
Interesting comparison between training kids and dogs.............I have never smacked any of my dogs, and they have all been obediant and well behaved and social.
-
Very interesting comments.
As mentioned its your kids and you discipline them the way you think is best.
Another point to consider is the way we as adults act around our kids. Young kids soak up the environment they live in and will mimick parents thinking that what they do is ok. Things like swearing etc.
I am lucky my kids are teenagers now but when they were young they were smacked now and then. Now for discipline I just hide my wallet, that's the best punishment I found that works ;D
Mark
-
Give the little S#$%s a whack when needed. There are times you can talk till you're blue in the face and it means jack turd to them. >:(
Don't give me this crap about a naughty corner or taking their toys, xbox, playstaion and whatever abcdbox off them. They know that all they have to do is wait, yeah that's right and they will get it back. ;)
I have even thrown mine in the cold shower when they have tried a temper tantrum on me and smashed into a gazillion pieces a toy, after they broke something of ours' ;D
Also chased my 14yr old son (I was 52) out of the house and caught him in the yard after he was giving me attitude. Dragged him back inside and made it amply clear to him, that if, he wants to carry on like some fool adult, then I would have no problem sitting him on his arse. ;D
There comes a point when all the talk in the world will mean nothing and they know they can make your life hell, so I show them what evil looks like and that worked. >:D
Foo
Have to agree
-
Another point to consider is the way we as adults act around our kids. Young kids soak up the environment they live in and will mimick parents thinking that what they do is ok. Things like swearing etc.
Yes we're at the parrot stage with our boy, I made a 4 letter comment at a lady driver the other day, he repeated it the next day with his mother in the car ;D
-
I 'd agree with that.. that dogs going to have a hideous life with that kid, adn end up defending itself one day and get put down cause after 4 yrs of constant abuse from the useless kid/parents it defended itself.
ymmv
even more sad is the dog will get the blame and could possibly end up being put down without a look into its upbringing (when an owners found guilty they should be held accountable for they're pets actions)
Raising a child and raising a dog are not so dissimilar. I have been involved with English Staffordshire Bull Terriers and American Staffordshire Bull Terriers for a total of 20 years and before that was Dobermans, French Bulldogs and Toy Poodles. I've had plenty of people who say how powerful and dangerous they are yet they're amazed at how tame and placid they truly are. Any one of these breeds in the wrong hands could be called a pit fighting dog etc but I've also see plenty of owners of Poodles, Chihuahuas and the likes that thanks to bad upbringing (egging them on to be aggressive etc) become aggressive and only due to lesser damage by their bite they don't get mentioned. Too often a dog or a breed will get a name yet nothing is said for its up bringing.
Not meaning to get this off topic but personally as others have mentioned I agree its a combination of what you as a parent reflect onto your child, your morals and your discipline. You only have to catch a bus these days to see that a lot of kids will not get off their seat for the elderly, an adult or even a pregnant woman.
This is the curve our futures heading in...one day it will be one of us on that bus standing...well trying to stand. Personally I'm banking on a lift with one of my kids by then.
No one is saying to go to town on them. In the beginning a firm voice with a tap on the butt will do. These days if theres a problem with my 2 all SWMBO says to them is that she is calling me....they quit it therefore no longer need to smack yet they no the offer is still on the table.
-
Jetcrew, without wishing to take the thread off topic, It would be interesting to see your house rules and punishments.
Family Rules
Help eachother out
Always tell the truth
Share
Do your best
Listien to your Parents
Be thankful
Respect one another
Keep your promises
Say Please and thankyou
Be Grateful
Think of others before yourself
Use kind words
Know you are loved.
As well as some other ones that are not as serious. these are on framed poster in our family room and have been a great source of conversation for our kids , My wife bought it from some shop some time ago. And if the kids grow up with these I hope they will be ok people.
I like how it says use Kind words Instead of don't use bad words ETC all the rules are in the affirmitive not negative ..
Punishments are issued relative to the breach
Swear at mum then lie about it = level 3 instantly
not sharing = get referred to rules and then rethink your actions.
You get the picture ;D ;D ;D
Hardest part is me complying with them LOL ;D ;D ;D ;D and one time I swore at the MRS and both kids looked at me with a perplexed look and I relised me setting an good example was the best way to shape my kids. Still get reminded of it too.. 6 yo have long memories when it suits them LOL..
Jet ;D ;D
-
Yes we're at the parrot stage with our boy, I made a 4 letter comment at a lady driver the other day, he repeated it the next day with his mother in the car ;D
Monkey see monkey do and the missus is a JP teacher so she brings some priceless comments from the littleys. Which reminds about the time I've got bil and junior in his booster seat in the back and we're cruising down Glenelg on some errand and bil (who is still a crusty old bachelor) spies some really buxon wench and it's- Corrr.....great tits!-with all the expression you can imagine and with that junior parrots it exactly and when we both roar with laughter he continues on with it until I have to frown seriously at him and say that's enough!
Forgot all about it until mil bailed me up with- what have you been teaching my precious grandson?- as apparently bil had dobbed ME in when junior parrotted the 'great tits' line in front of his mum. As he said at the time- well you can't expect a bloke to disappoint his own mum now can you? Well...I sorta knew where he was coming from... but! Never work with kids or animals as they say.
-
Topical...
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/thrills-and-spills-a-rite-of-passage-for-children/story-fnet085v-1226545101888 (http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/thrills-and-spills-a-rite-of-passage-for-children/story-fnet085v-1226545101888)
"Kids need to have a level of discomfort in their life and hear the word 'no', and experience disappointment."
Dr Banks said some over-protective parents were creating children who lacked the "emotional resilience" needed to get through life.
-
^^ I agree with this statement totally! ^^ :cup:
Foo
-
the horse whip works a treat - scars disappear after about 6 months
-
Ask my wife if she agrees with smacking, and she'll demonstrate on you just to make a point, bam, ringing ears.
Years ago when water skiing, Mrs Marschy was paddling in the water holding our 1 year old daughter in her arms. My nephew (poor fool, he hadn't experienced her wrath before), was splashing her and my daughter in the face and was politely asked to stop as it was scaring our daughter. He did it a couple more times and was asked to stop again. Brother and SIL silently watching on doing SFA, and before you knew it, bam, ringing ears.
It was beautiful to watch.
-
(http://chicktech.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/REALITY_SLAP_L1.jpg)
-
the horse whip works a treat - scars disappear after about 6 months
:o :cup:
Foo
-
I'm a parent of his lordship, age 7 nearly 8, and Daddy,'s little princess age 5 going on 15.
My question to you all is......Why can't we smack stupid parents????
Lord knows the little donkeys need it. Perhaps if a parents copped a size 10 blundstone up the posterior, they might start actually parenting.
In todays society it appears rules are only there for other people.
Damn I'd love to see everyone have a choice?........... Dole for 3 months then military service or no dole.
Try telling a stern p1ssed off sergeant major you don't want get out bed.
Don't like it? Get a job.
Rant rant rant..........
-
Damn I'd love to see everyone have a choice?........... Dole for 3 months then military service or no dole.
Try telling a stern p1ssed off sergeant major you don't want get out bed.
Don't like it? Get a job.
Rant rant rant..........
I agree but the Military is just as soft as society. What you discribe, no longer happens. We are a military of hugs and warm showers......:-)
-
As an ex serviceman I shake my head in wonder that people believe that the solution to societies problems is to force the unemployed into the armed forces.
Force someone who doesn't want to work into a profession that trains them to kill people. Why do you think this a solution?
I was in the army in the early eighties whilst a good many Vietnam veterans and national service men were still in the service and most of them I spoke to expressed how conscription did nothing to improve society or conditions within the armed services.
I would go as far as saying that conscription did more to harm society and conditions in the armed services than any good that may have come out of it.
-
Because they are not that way inclined, they would opt to get a job instead.....
Lucky if they lasted a week.
-
I'm a parent of his lordship, age 7 nearly 8, and Daddy,'s little princess age 5 going on 15.
My question to you all is......Why can't we smack stupid parents????
Lord knows the little donkeys need it. Perhaps if a parents copped a size 10 blundstone up the posterior, they might start actually parenting.
In todays society it appears rules are only there for other people.
Damn I'd love to see everyone have a choice?........... Dole for 3 months then military service or no dole.
Try telling a stern p1ssed off sergeant major you don't want get out bed.
Don't like it? Get a job.
Rant rant rant..........
In the mid to late 90's the Child Protection Policy was brought into play. Via the Schools the kids were told no one including parents could smack you any more and if anyone did smack them, that person could be charged for assaulting the little cherubs. No one bothered to let the parents know what was going on so some parents opted out of their parenting responsibilities and the cherubs grew up with no behavioural control, remember they took the cane out of the schools as well.
Then the Hotline was introduced so all the other do gooders could immediately report to the Authorities is Mr or Mrs Jones was mistreating their child by enforcing lawful chastisement on their own child while out in public. Again the fear of having Mr Plod on your door more parents abandoned their parental responsibilities.
While I am against anyone mistreating, neglecting or abusing a child or anyone for that matter, no has told parents just what they can do to be good parents and raise their children with Societies values en-stilled into them to be responsible and to be respectful. To achieve this a reward system needs a punishment system as well. At present there is NO offence for a parent to lawfully chastise their child which can include a smack to the bottom.
I could go on but will leave it at that
-
Well said Al,
To add, the High School can tell my 14 year old that she doesn't have to live under my roof any more and have DOCS organize to have her move out without even consulting us.
I was speaking to my sister the other day who has been having trouble with her 14yr old, hanging with a group of kids that don't go to school. She comes home the other day to tell her mother she doesn't have to live with her anymore (http://www.hairfysh.com/images/Icons/Smileys/shocked.gif) When asked who told her that she said the School councilor told her that. So she rings the school to ask what is going on and she is told that is confidential & a personal matter between the councilor and the student.
So my sister rings a friend of hers that works for Centrelink, she rings me in tears, my sister is a great mum with a wayward teen and she is beside herself that there is very little she can do to prevent this from happening.
Ok, yes these laws are in place to prevent the abuse of child and there are parents that beat their kids, but why has it got to this point that we as parents have had the right to raise our kids in a way that we see fit taken away from us and then when the kids become a burden on society from lack of discipline we are labeled as bad parents?
All we can do as parents is hug our kids each day, tell them we love them and hang on for a bumpy ride.
Oh, And support each other, this includes other Mums & Dads cause it's not an easy gig at times.
-
............She comes home the other day to tell her mother she doesn't have to live with her anymore (http://www.hairfysh.com/images/Icons/Smileys/shocked.gif) When asked who told her that she said the School councilor told her that. So she rings the school to ask what is going on and she is told that is confidential & a personal matter between the councilor and the student.............
......belt the councilor........
-
......belt the councilor........
If only it was that easy. >:D
-
The trouble is that the ones who make the laws and usually hand out the advice to the kids, have never had kids themselves - text book experts.
-
Had the bil and sil and 2 kids stay for a few days over xmas, they are always welcome and we had a great time over a few beers a few bbq's a round of golf etc etc.
The problem is the 2 kids the boy is 4 the girl is 6, parents are early 30's.
The kids have never been smacked for doing something wrong, never even been spoken to in a raised voice and know no boundaries.
Example 1, they were given a small puppy for xmas and the boy has dragged it by the legs up onto his lap, the pup is protesting and tries to escape and is now hanging over the edge of the chair being held by the back legs yelping in pain. The father is watching doing nothing, finally the mother asks the boy to stop please, the boy does not stop, she politely asks again with please and the boy stands up tipping the pup on the ground on its head. The mother then grabs his hand and says ******* thats not nice and he starts to do that pathetic whiney baby cry [no tears] so she picks him up and cuddles him and says sorry.
Example 2, The little pup is just adorable and is a very active little thing, after a little nap on the couch it springs off the couch and is running around the lounge room as they do. The boy grabs the pup and puts it back on the couch, but before he is back seated again the pup has jumped off. So the boy once again grabs the pup and returns it to the couch this time holding onto its front leg while he gets on the couch. Just as he is seated the pup breaks free and makes a jump for it and the boy almost grabs his hind legs but misses, but it was enough to unbalance the pup and it crashes on the floor head first and topples over very awkwardly with its neck bent back under its body. The father is right there and does nothing, this time the mother grabs the boy by the arm and pulls him close [ i am thinking about bloody time this kid copped one] but nope he starts that same pathetic cry and she picks him up and says its ok ******* thats enough ******* then holds the boy upside down and says I will shake your silly's out.
In the spirit of Xmas I held my tongue, but was like WTF guys, this boy needs to know where the boundaries are, you aren't doing him any favors like this. As soon as he goes to kindy next year the other boys are gunna flog the bejeebas out of him, no one likes a spoilt little bully boy who can't take what he dishes out.
Thinking back to my childhood days I know I would have received a corrective action if I had done those things. Probably a smack for #1 and the strap for #2 because I didn't learn from #1. Neither of my parents would have thought I was silly and needed the silly's shaken out of me.
Is this normal new age parenting? If so then no wonder some kids are the way they are.
My house my rules... The kid would have been told in no uncertain terms. Now I dont have kids but I seem to have the right voice and look as most kid only need to be told once by me and they dont do what ever they are doing again. My friends have accepted that if they wont keep their kids in line in my house I will. Most of the time I will give them the 3 chance rule unless it is bad. In this case they would have got both barrels. And yes I was smacked as a child, but not many times.
-
Well said Al,
To add, the High School can tell my 14 year old that she doesn't have to live under my roof any more and have DOCS organize to have her move out without even consulting us.
I was speaking to my sister the other day who has been having trouble with her 14yr old, hanging with a group of kids that don't go to school. She comes home the other day to tell her mother she doesn't have to live with her anymore (http://www.hairfysh.com/images/Icons/Smileys/shocked.gif) When asked who told her that she said the School councilor told her that. So she rings the school to ask what is going on and she is told that is confidential & a personal matter between the councilor and the student.
So my sister rings a friend of hers that works for Centrelink, she rings me in tears, my sister is a great mum with a wayward teen and she is beside herself that there is very little she can do to prevent this from happening.
Ok, yes these laws are in place to prevent the abuse of child and there are parents that beat their kids, but why has it got to this point that we as parents have had the right to raise our kids in a way that we see fit taken away from us and then when the kids become a burden on society from lack of discipline we are labeled as bad parents?
All we can do as parents is hug our kids each day, tell them we love them and hang on for a bumpy ride.
Oh, And support each other, this includes other Mums & Dads cause it's not an easy gig at times.
Sadly this is the norm. Little Johnny or Julia can go to the counsellor tell all the stories under the sun and next thing they are gone with no or very little inquiries made as to what is happening at home to validate their story. Accommodation is provided, and allowance/pension is provided along with all the other benefits and what does the child learn from all of that. Put your hand out and someone will give you want you want. All you have to do is look sad and hard done by and you will get what you want. No need to work, no need to do anything for yourself.........
-
The trouble is that the ones who make the laws and usually hand out the advice to the kids, have never had kids themselves - text book experts.
I tend to agree Sonny.
I don't know what the solution is to help parents deal with this, I really don't.
We try and involve our three kids in everything we do, as a family and camping is a great way to do this. Yeah, sure they all have their different interests and are of different ages, but we try to get them all to participate in the experience of getting outside.
No need to work, no need to do anything for yourself.........
Yep, seems to be a common theme of governments over the past ten years or so.
-
Most of this crud started with teachers many years ago when, they started telling the kids.....these are your rights and you don't need to do, listen or live within a particular enviroment. >:( The trouble with this is.....you can't have rights without responsibility or am I missing something here? ???
Foo
-
Interesting thread.....
I don't see it as a discussion as to whther to smack or not......I see smacking as another type of consequence that can be applied when our daughter has done something wrong...thing is, I think there are far more powerful 'consequences' that can be applied that have a much more powerful effect, than smacking...hence we don't smack.
eg..if she has a horse riding camp coming up, and she does something very wrong, we will cancel her attendance at the camp. Or going to a friends place for a play..etc
That way we also can adjust the 'consequnce' to match was was done..rather than one type of consequence applied across many scenarios...
Seems to work very well.
MarkVS
-
Seems to work very well.
MarkVS
It can MarkVS but all I can report is horses for courses with my 2 growing up and chalk and cheese with the lad and the daughter.
Son came home with that crap about not having to go to school anymore when he turned 16 and the schoolteacher missus was beside herself and wanted me to tell him how he had to finish school. I told her that's not true and if we forced him he could just make trouble and get himself expelled so if he wants to get out in the big wide world like I did then he has to work for a living or there's the gate and I'll help you pack son. Choice was come to work for me for his keep or with a couple of chippy mates and naturally he chose the latter. Lasted 2 days before he wanted to go back to school with his tail between his legs. Up at 6 to be pressed and dressed for an 8 hour day is a bit of a culture shock for softcock schoolboys you'll easily discover like he did.
So when he'd finished Yr12 he got an electrical apprenticeship because I'd told him he can have 2 yrs free board and keep if he did vs paying a third of his wage if he joined a mate green keeping at the local golf course which earned better money right away but no long term. Awww... but I wouldn't be better off than on an apprentice wage then moans he. Fancy that eh? Well when the 2 yrs was up and I reminded him it was time to talk about that board contribution, would you believe it, the ungrateful sod ups and moves out with a bunch of mates!! Then I have to put up with a bunch of middle class wimps pissing in my ear all the time about how their grown up offspring are out partying and having a good time and don't seem to want to leave their free leafy burb nest. Well blow me down with a feather.
-
lmao.. it sure is, going to make another coffee..
but on another note,,, the kid would have got my boot up his A***.!
BHG
If he was yours?
If he was someone else's?
I've only started this thread and am also going to get another coffee!
-
If he was yours?
If he was someone else's?
I've only started this thread and am also going to get another coffee!
He wouldn't do it if he was mine
He would get the biggest kick up the arse! if he was yours and you where at my house
He would get a ' gentle bump ' to the back of the head if he was yours at your house and if it was challenged , i wouldn't be there much longer
Can't tolerate cruelty to animals and I am liking my dogs more then I like most people these days .
My 2 cents worth anyway
-
Now that I'm at the end of the thread ............
My kids get the odd smack. They learn what the consequences of their actions are and don't really need it anymore - a warning that it could happen is enough. I like to think I would never smack someone else's kid (and never have yet) - but the parents would definitely know the kid needed it!
The worst thing I have found is the parents that do not carry through their threats - if you're gonna warn them "this will happen if you don't stop" then FFS make sure it happens if they don't stop!
End of the line is that you can put up with it for only so long - then they don't come around or see you anymore. Harsh way to lose friends but you only get one life - live it as happily as you can.
-
If only it was that easy. >:D
At least it's a start...... >:D
-
Hey Al n Jan,
Write a book. I'll buy it.
I reckon your comments are spot on.
Cheers and happy new year,
Brian
-
I saw this bloke closed fist swung at the back of his daughters head I shook my head in disbelief, hey asked if I had a problem with him hitting his daughter I said yes but I would not stoop to his level dropping him on his arse in front of his kid, he then hit his kid harder to see if I would react. I disappeared did my shopping thing and spotted the same bloke walking to the car park a few meters in front of his wife and crying kid. I got the attention of the mother and pointed to walk in a different direction with her daughter and that was the day I discovered another purpose of the roo bar on my Prado, perfect for driving some ones nose and teeth into.
I have no problems with a child getting smacked opened hand across the back of the leg or bum, but when a child or women gets "flogged" in front of me I make sure the week mongrel that does the flogging gets his back.
-
We have no kids so can not comment, only to say there are some kids that only respond to a smack.
However, IMHO, if the dog survives long enough, it will probably deal out it's own form of retribution...pity that it will then most likely be put down for it's actions!!
-
In a conversation with a psychologist.....dangerous in its own right, but anyway.
She said that "abuse is abuse. Assault is assault. There's no grey area. You either hit them or you didn't."
What absolute excrement.
Thats like saying lighting a campfire makes you an arsonist. Lighting a fire is lighting a fire.
Killing a dog makes you a murder. Jeez vets must be bad people.
I had a nurse stab me the other day. (got a needle)
My doctor raped me. (Prostate check due to high psa count)
When does it become too much?
I kissed my daughter this morning and hugged my son. ??? ??? ???
What does that make me?
There is a dinstinct difference between discipline and abuse.
Only a fool would say otherwise.
The only difference is that some people understand the difference and some don't.
Punish the bad, dont penalise the honest.
The world has officially gone mad, but I obviously missed the email..................
-
Agree, there is a fine line between a discipline smack and abuse. Hence when mine do get a smack it's only one but one they will remember. To continually belt and belt a child is abuse. Funny thing is, children will/can push and push all your buttons to the absolute limit at times and it's during these times we make a majority of parenting mistakes(guilty as charged). No matter what anyone says, parenting is a hard gig that is getting more and more difficult with more government interference........
-
nothing wrong with a smack across the bum if a raised voice or "look"dosent work....
I used to smack my kids( and always felt like a dick when i had to)
I seen a woman in the supermarket once smacking her kid(maybe 5 years old)across the head..... I just gave her a " glare" and she stopped.. :police:
But i dont think there is any need to hit other than the bot bot with just a hand..... :cheers:
-
Hey Al n Jan,
Write a book. I'll buy it.
I reckon your comments are spot on.
Cheers and happy new year,
Brian
thanks mate, but no thanks.
I just happen to have the pleasure where work brings me into a lot of contact with people where society and the system has failed big time.
Unfortunately we have drifted away from a lot of the good values of society. In this case the old proverb of "It takes a whole village to raise a child" has been totally and utterly forgotten. Someone from outside the Village knows what is best for that villages child.
Gone are the days where if a child was found doing something wrong, you could give the child a boot up the backside (colloquially speaking) Mr Plod would give you a kick up the back side and finally when you made it home Dad would give you a kick up the backside. Nowadays, if you touched someone else child that father would be hunting you down for assaulting his precious cherub and Mr Plod finds out about it after the fact.
-
And an extra Happy New Year to all those newbie parents this morning when the tackers have naturally woken up a half hour earlier and bouncier than usual and are raring to go and what about it mum and dad? Yeah well for an extra hour or two last night the drinks were slipping down real well and mum and dad were partying just like their single days while the tackers were fast asleep and where'd all that nostalgia suddenly evaporate to now?
For the non parents out there it's like this. Disciplining kids is not a one way street and the first fascinating new toy you brought home from the maternity ward is about to begin training you for life and building resilience too and that's where your mum and dad get to have a wry smile at how you handle it all Mr and Mrs Eggspert. I'm particularly looking forward to that phase with my two. In the meantime son was having a BBQ with his lady and the gang at his place last night while uni daughter decided the dough serving a New Year function at the local surf club was too good to pass up, while mum and dad and the empty nesters had a leisurely late night with local beachside fireworks and quiet sleep in this morning. There comes a stage in life where you're superbly ready and resilient for all that and hold that thought newbie and wannabe parents.
To come back to the original puppy problem, there was only one thing missing and that was an adult presence. Parents have to be grown-ups not kindy, primary school or HS buddies and pals to their kids and to recall what it was like when they were a generation younger when it was all about me, now and 'It's not fair!' because all the other kids are allowed to stay up late, getting mobile phones, Xboxes, live at home for free when they're working, or whatever. Love that 'Black Conservative' blogger when he recalled as a kid moaning to his old man about 'It's not fair' and his dad would shoot back with- 'Who told you life was meant to be fair nigger!'
When I was a child I thought like a child but it was up to my adult parents to be the adult rocks to constantly lead me to where they were at in my own individual way.
-
I have a boy 6 & girl 7. I smack them on the ass, I think in total about 3 times last year. I work away 5 weeks on 5 weeks off so my wife tends to deal with their upbringing more then me. I'm 38 wife 37.
The one thing I belive kids need is consistency, values, discipline and a respect for all living things.
We have been approached on more than one occasion to be told by unknowns to us of how polite our children are. As I tell them people like children who are polite and well mannered. Having said that kids still need to be kids and have fun.
For me I go the look, then if that doesn't work I wheel the bin in and start throwing toys away(ps into box that can be earnt back)
If that doesn't work(rarely) then there is trouble.
One thing I always do is support my wife as she is the main reason why my children are so well behaved and I love her immensly for that.
Regards Adam
Oh by the way I would have picked the 4 yr old up by the leg and asked "how does that feel?" thats all your honour!
-
Sadly this little boy could be destined for a life as a serial killer. All serial killers abused animals when they were young. It's only going to get worse for the dog I feel certain. If he's not being instructed on how to handle the creature correctly, then they are up for some expensive vet bills before it "suddenly goes missing". I'd also keep an eye on the neighbours critters. If you see a lot of Missing Dog or Cat signs ...
Kit_e
P.S. I don't have kids so my opinion is *foot* *kids arse* *connected*
[edited by Admin]
Thank You Admin. I guess some didn't see my tongue in cheek on this one.
-
Yesterday I had my daughter taken away from me from an employee of DOCP ...
-
Sadly this little boy is destined for a life as a serial killer. It's true. All serial killers abused animals when they were young.
You have just earned yourself pride of place on my ignore list for that inappropriate comment. >:(
-
You have just earned yourself pride of place on my ignore list for that inappropriate comment. >:(
::)
-
As for BD girls they are great except when they sing one direction.
That on its own requires swift action ... if allowed to continue unabated it could result in an irreversible case of bad taste ... best to wash mouth(s) out with soap and get them to listen to music ... act swiftly time is of the essence.
-
As for BD girls they are great except when they sing one direction. !
Swannie
C'mon now, the girls can't be held responsible for that...
with BD constantly playing 1D on his itunes be it in house, camper or car the poor girls have been withdrawn from normal music...
given a choice the girls really want Powderfinger, Foo Fighters, Greenday, etc....not 1D like their dad subjects them to ;D
-
Geez,
I'm lost for words.
-
The funny thing about parenting is non of them come with a user manual, every single one of them are different and as such respond to discipline in different ways. We as parents generally are trying our best to do the best we can in raising these little sound machines. Some parents get lucky and have a child/children that are pretty easy and others not so who get the devil. I have one of each and can say, the devil child does take a lot of work and continually pushes boundaries. Parenting is about teaching/guiding a child through life to make the right choices and at the end of the day, as a parent you can only hope that your children follow this guidance. It's far from an easy gig and very challenging at times but it is our responsibility as a parent to prepare them as well as possible for the big bad outside world. This means saying, NO and teaching them consequence to poorly chosen actions. A parent cannot be there 100% of the time and does rely to some degree on the wider community when needed to pull them into line if needed. This is our failing as a community. I have no problem with other adults pulling up my children if they do wrong.
-
Well put mate :cup:
When we've had arguments, conflicts of opinions with our kids, we will try to sit down with them and explain that we know it isn't easy being a kid at times, then we explain that it isn't easy being a parent at times either. Trying let them have an insight into what it is like to be us.
Whether this will work I have no idea, it's just our way of trying to deal with our growing children.
-
Discipline with a smack and constantly belting crap out of a kid are two different things. There needs to be a point where it may need to be escalated to a smack, after explaining, timeout, removing toys etc doesnt work.
Someone once told me kids are like puppies. Watch the mother, if the pup does something wrong the mum will give it a gentle nip on the ear so it knows what is wrong.
I got belted strap wooden spoon etc when i was a kid, didn't make me stop. Just made me smarter at not getting caught.... >:D
-
The funny thing about parenting is non of them come with a user manual, every single one of them are different and as such respond to discipline in different ways. We as parents generally are trying our best to do the best we can in raising these little sound machines. Some parents get lucky and have a child/children that are pretty easy and others not so who get the devil. I have one of each and can say, the devil child does take a lot of work and continually pushes boundaries. Parenting is about teaching/guiding a child through life to make the right choices and at the end of the day, as a parent you can only hope that your children follow this guidance. It's far from an easy gig and very challenging at times but it is our responsibility as a parent to prepare them as well as possible for the big bad outside world. This means saying, NO and teaching them consequence to poorly chosen actions. A parent cannot be there 100% of the time and does rely to some degree on the wider community when needed to pull them into line if needed. This is our failing as a community. I have no problem pulling up my children if they do wrong.
amen to that.
And to add another factor, you may have a perfect child but once they become tired or over tired then no amount of reasoning or discipline will work.
-
The funny thing about parenting is non of them come with a user manual, every single one of them are different and as such respond to discipline in different ways. We as parents generally are trying our best to do the best we can in raising these little sound machines. Some parents get lucky and have a child/children that are pretty easy and others not so who get the devil. I have one of each and can say, the devil child does take a lot of work and continually pushes boundaries. Parenting is about teaching/guiding a child through life to make the right choices and at the end of the day, as a parent you can only hope that your children follow this guidance. It's far from an easy gig and very challenging at times but it is our responsibility as a parent to prepare them as well as possible for the big bad outside world. This means saying, NO and teaching them consequence to poorly chosen actions. A parent cannot be there 100% of the time and does rely to some degree on the wider community when needed to pull them into line if needed. This is our failing as a community. I have no problem with other adults pulling up my children if they do wrong.
Go on then......... ruin a perfectly stuffed up system with logic and sense.......
Seriously though I reckon, you're spot on. I try to raise my kids with the thought that the apple doesn't fall from the tree, always in the back of my mind.
Embrace it rather than seeing it as a challenge.
-
The worst thing I have found is the parents that do not carry through their threats - if you're gonna warn them "this will happen if you don't stop" then FFS make sure it happens if they don't stop!
X2 on above....hollow threats are a waste of time, be sure and follow through on what you say or don't bother saying it. learning your actions come with consequences is what lifes about.
-
With hindsight I'd say the Devil child is one who is constantly pushing the bounds and doesn't seem to want to go along with the crowd or the class rules, etc at the time. In the lad's case we'd always get shool reports like- J could be an A student if only he'd apply himself in class. Blow me down if he doesn't get glowing report cards in Yr7 and Yr12 only and later he confides with me that you only have to ace Yr7 and Yr12 report cards to get on dad, while school teacher mum rolls her eyes and shakes her head thinking about the poor teachers in between. Son's life view was the rest of the time was for cricket, footy, BMX jumping (including car and tram surfing with the mates), the beach and wave surfing, etc. We even get to go to Gummint House presentation and afternoon tea with the geeks when he gets a perfect 20 in Yr 12 for Cad and Graphics because he likes it and it's a breeze for him technically with little effort.
You need to be careful pre-judging them too as I did with J and pocket money. Give him money and it was down the shops like a flash and gone and he'd be borrowing off younger sister and you think he'll be exactly like your bil without a cracker to his name and maxed out credit cards. At 15 he gets a fast food job through a mate cooking out the back and next thing he's working nights and weekends whenever there's a spare slot and he's saving money for a car because I've already told him I won't be buying him one like other parents, especially while he's at school. Anyway you can't afford to run one at school son. Yeah, well he showed me cooking chook all hours and 2am starts with a mate preparing the local golf greens, while mum was always fretting about those school reports and wanting to leave school.
He's just bought his second unit to organise trades to do up and sell on and the bank falls over themselves to lend him any extra with over $200k in his kick while most of his peers get mum and dad to stump up deposits so they don't have to pay mortgage insurance. He's noticed that part alright, while he's been around the world a few times, owns everything outright and the brand new jetski is handy for catching the big waves and he doesn't want for much I can tell you. No shortage of young ladies wanting a slice of the wild child but the marine biologist is the first one to move in with him and I suspect she's working on the life project just fine now. Scheming with the missus how to knock the rough diamond into shape for life and it's often the wild ones that settle down for life. I have this strange feeling of deja vu for some inexplicable reason.