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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:02:18 PM

Title: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:02:18 PM
Righto you lot, I reckon the place needs a bit of a lighten up. What with all the Political BS, doom & gloom sayers etc., I say it's time for a giggle. Keep it "on track" & we won't have to worry about getting stomped on by the Mods ( good folk that they are).
Now I'm sure  you all have learnt/ done things the hard (funny to others) way, so come on , spill it !!
I'll kick off.
#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!
#2..... I brought home a few crates of my late Fathers home brew, been sitting aging for a while as he couldn't drink grog towards the end. So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......
#3..... NEVER trust a fart....... :-[
 :cheers: Now it;s your turn
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: JCOJ on March 02, 2012, 09:15:17 PM
Unplug your electical cord before folding the hard top over - otherwise you will just have to do it all again!!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: jk on March 02, 2012, 09:17:48 PM
#3..... NEVER trust a fart.......That's Gold  :cup: ...........I love your wisdom old friend  :cheers:

Allan Jones once said, "criticism is only as valid as those who give it", .................now that's wisdom if ever I heard it  ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: MarkGU on March 02, 2012, 09:23:29 PM
Righto you lot, I reckon the place needs a bit of a lighten up. What with all the Political BS, doom & gloom sayers etc., I say it's time for a giggle. Keep it "on track" & we won't have to worry about getting stomped on by the Mods ( good folk that they are).
Now I'm sure  you all have learnt/ done things the hard (funny to others) way, so come on , spill it !!
I'll kick off.
#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!
#2..... I brought home a few crates of my late Fathers home brew, been sitting aging for a while as he couldn't drink grog towards the end. So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......
#3..... NEVER trust a fart....... :-[
 :cheers: Now it;s your turn
"#1... DON'T let the cook & #1 pack up the camper while you talk to another Swagger UNTIL you have checked that everything is out of the tent area before being folded up & ready to tow. "Where's the keys"??? "You just packed the f#@!$%ng thing & it's MY fault the keys are inside!!!!"................and get home b4 someone else does and put it on a camping site 4 all to see  :-*
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:25:01 PM
Johnno, (JK)if it put a smile on ya dial on a Friday night, what more can a Frog ask for??
I foresee many great gems coming forward from those who have done it the hard way. I tend to think a few may not have trusted too much a couple of Sundays back.... :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 02, 2012, 09:28:47 PM
So I knocked off a few long necks of this high octane  juice. The boss (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......


(http://www.smileyhut.com/laughing/roll2.gif) (http://www.smileyhut.com)

Sounds like the time I referred to SHMBO and her three sisters (all in the same place, same time) to a mate as:

Look, the 4 ugly sisters, which one is cinderella?  That was 15 years ago, we're still married - 25 years now!!



Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:30:41 PM
An old mate used to call tadpole, her mother & her aunty "lemon, lime & bitters". I think I was a bit slow on the pick up  ??? :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: MarkGU on March 02, 2012, 09:30:56 PM
The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but then, neither does milk.

Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 02, 2012, 09:37:41 PM

The Way It Goes Sometimes... Murphy's Laws
Murphy's Original Law
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.  (Electical Threads)

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse (Some Myswag Threads)

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:38:14 PM
GROG- Invented to make dumb blokes smart & ugly women lucky........
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Black Diamond on March 02, 2012, 09:40:56 PM
#3..... NEVER trust a fart.......That's Gold  :cup: ...........I love your wisdom old friend  :cheers:
;D
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/23267_124865400874491_3365_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 02, 2012, 09:45:42 PM
When you are straining a fence wire  using wire strainers and have put a figure 8 join in nearby, when the pressure around your fingers gets really tight:

DONT KEEP CRANKING THE WIRE STRAINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 02, 2012, 09:51:01 PM
Sounds like the old standard for bolt tension.... strip it , then back 1/2 a turn. :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: gunna on March 02, 2012, 10:01:43 PM
Before filling up make sure u got the right Bowser & dont put 80lts of unleaded in your diesel like i did  :-[
 :cheers: sheeds
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: POD on March 02, 2012, 11:34:48 PM
'Tis better to undo your your fly at that point than to push on through the pain . . . . .
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: POD on March 02, 2012, 11:51:27 PM
No matter how quiet you think you are . . . . . her father will ALWAYS hear you.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: POD on March 02, 2012, 11:52:47 PM
Testicles and soldering irons are natural enemies.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Willow Girl on March 03, 2012, 02:54:58 AM
A lesson learned by my then 14yr old brother ......never pee on an electric fence!  Luckily no permanent damage. He now has 3 boys.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 03, 2012, 05:28:59 AM
Machines always tell you in their own way where not to put your fingers  ;D
Barbed wire has its own way of telling , you  " you did it wrong " ;D
Trees always grow 1m further away than the end of your winch cable   >:D
Who ever said " Things can only get better " wasnt on my last trip   >:D
Just cause it on the Internet it not true   ;D
Stop looking when you find what your looking for   ;D
 :cheers: is not the answer but it helps you forget the question  :cheers:   8)
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Robertsons on March 03, 2012, 07:16:39 AM
Never trust a fart.
Cracks me up  ???
Title: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: BigJules on March 03, 2012, 07:22:51 AM
There are some nuggets in here already.

If you're wondering if you hitched the camper/trailer on properly, you probably didn't.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: gibbo301 on March 03, 2012, 07:31:48 AM
When doing a oil change make sure you have put the sump plug in before refilling the oil  :-[ :-[
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: brickiematt on March 03, 2012, 11:34:16 AM
When the wife is searching for something to hang in the car window to keep the sun off the kids, dont suggest a pair of her undies >:D :o
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: macca on March 03, 2012, 11:42:58 AM
When doing a oil change make sure you have put the sump plug in before refilling the oil  :-[ :-[

thats one every mechanic learns very early in his career :cheers:

cure the cause, not the effect

sh#t does'nt happen, its caused by @rseh#les
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 03, 2012, 11:58:42 AM
Number 1
- Do not leave keys in ignition when 2 children in car while taking groceries inside. Said 2 year old  decided to unstrap belt, climb in drivers seat, start ignition, put in reverse, drive through brick letter boz. across the road and into front neibours fence. Cost $5k

Number 2
- same said child, put wheat bag into microwave on high | microwave exploded out of wall cavity anf proceeded to blow toxic smoke through brand new 3 month house built.. All curtains, furniture etc that was porous needed to be replaced as did heating ducts and unit.. 1 month in motel. Cost $60k
Child bouncing in motel bed saying "daddy this is so much fun"

AAMI wanted to use him for a commercial

I have more but this is to we your appetites

Greg

PS all the above is the truth
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: GGV8Cruza on March 03, 2012, 01:29:42 PM
HID lights have a lot of punch, do not touch the terminals when turned on

GG
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 03, 2012, 02:28:51 PM
There are some nuggets in here already.

If you're wondering if you hitched the camper/trailer on properly, you probably didn't.

Same goes for "did I lock  that rear tailgate?"
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: brickiematt on March 03, 2012, 02:43:42 PM
Number 1
- Do not leave keys in ignition when 2 children in car while taking groceries inside. Said 2 year old  decided to unstrap belt, climb in drivers seat, start ignition, put in reverse, drive through brick letter boz. across the road and into front neibours fence. Cost $5k

Number 2
- same said child, put wheat bag into microwave on high | microwave exploded out of wall cavity anf proceeded to blow toxic smoke through brand new 3 month house built.. All curtains, furniture etc that was porous needed to be replaced as did heating ducts and unit.. 1 month in motel. Cost $60k
Child bouncing in motel bed saying "daddy this is so much fun"

AAMI wanted to use him for a commercial

I have more but this is to we your appetites

Greg

PS all the above is the truth

Strewth Greg. I wouldn't let that particular child anywhere near your CT if i were you!! ;D Is that letterbox fixed, cos i know a good brickie!! :D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 03, 2012, 02:49:14 PM
Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room  ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: brickiematt on March 03, 2012, 03:32:56 PM
Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room  ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :cup: ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: heath74 on March 03, 2012, 04:17:09 PM
When up a ladder, using an 18v DeWalt with a 100mm hole saw to cut a hole in fascia for bathroom exhaust....

Be careful, the hole saw can bite, torque produced will spin the cordless around, wrench your arm and the base of the drill will hit you in the head.  It will hurt, you will see stars and fall form the ladder.

Just a tip for young players...

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 03, 2012, 04:34:20 PM
Matt letterbox fixed but might get you over to brick him into his room  ;D

Are you taking this child camping??

How much did AAMI offer?


 :cup:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 03, 2012, 04:39:41 PM
Are you taking this child camping??

How much did AAMI offer?


 :cup:

Like father like son Mace.. unfortunately I kept my parents busy when I was young  ;D. 
 he's now nearly 10 and right into the cub scouts so forever away camping, doing knots all the stuff we loved doing.  The family are up doing the realy for life (cancer fundraiser as I type away ) he's doing a big part himself.. I'm on the graveyard shift walking through tonight.
When we catch up at melbourne cup weekend I'm sure he will tell you all about it!
His 21st will be a long event  ;D
Greg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: taipan on March 04, 2012, 12:27:43 AM
After hurting yourself on any piece of mechanical apparatus, do not kick said piece of mechanical apparatus wearing steel capped boots. The resulting pain and laughter from so called work mates is not worth it.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: fishfinder on March 04, 2012, 08:41:44 AM
DO NOT Propose to the other half whilst your pissed and prove that your serious by placing it in writing - I woke up in the morning and saw the note I left on the table and still wondering how could have I drank so much
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 04, 2012, 08:46:04 AM
DO NOT Propose to the other half whilst your pissed and prove that your serious by placing it in writing - I woke up in the morning and saw the note I left on the table and still wondering how could have I drank so much

Priceless :cup:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: xcvator on March 04, 2012, 04:19:05 PM
When retrieving old fashioned steel rabbit traps and the pin is stuck in really hard DO NOT stand with your feet on either side of the pin while pulling ??? coz when it finally comes out it can reeeeeeaaaaaly  huuuuurrrrrrrtttttt  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: LJs GU on March 04, 2012, 05:29:29 PM
1. Dome tents without the outer fly DO NOT stop shadows being cast during 'nocturnal tent activities'.
2. If your camping neighbours grin at you the next morning, don't assume it's just because they're on holiday and happy.
LJ
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: austastar on March 04, 2012, 05:31:44 PM
Hi,
   Apparently it is not ok to use the Mrs' new digital scales to measure out fibre glass resin, even if you wrap them in a plastic bag.

I would have thought that was quite reasonable.

But not so!

cheers
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: NewcastleKnight on March 04, 2012, 05:42:32 PM
The Way It Goes Sometimes... Murphy's Laws
Murphy's Original Law
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.  (Electical Threads)

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse (Some Myswag Threads)

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

The politically correct Murphys Law,

Murphy was a little unfortunate and it would not be fair to stigmatize him as such Murphy's Law is now known as An Unfortuate Event.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: NewcastleKnight on March 04, 2012, 05:50:33 PM
Some may remember my tread concerning the emptying of portable toilets.

NEVER, that's right ever try and do the right thing and offer to empty someone's portaloo, in fact the said item is now banned in our camp! :laugh: :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Hairs on March 04, 2012, 06:29:47 PM
My late father taught me three things in life, many years ago.
1) Don't gamble what your can't afford to loose out of your back pocket.

2) Don't sell what you can't afford to buy.

3) It's the second hole front the back of the neck.
 8)
I'm doing alright  ;D

Also, It's the 50/50/90 rule.
When you have a 50 -50 choice, 90% of the time you will choose wrong.
 :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: HEM19X on March 05, 2012, 10:38:14 AM
She SWMBO says "Just go ahead & do it" the correct action is DON"T DO IT......even if you really really want to.

When working on the 4by any tool/bolt/nut dropped in the engine bay will not fall to the ground but will lodge in the most inaccessable spot known to man...If the engine is hot, this will be very close to the exhaust.

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mallory Black on March 05, 2012, 12:34:35 PM
Learning a trade & in a trade
If you are not sure of someting ask 3 other more "qualified" guys what they think
If you get all 3 with the same answer then there must be something in it
if you get all 3 with different answers, keep looking for better guys to mentor you!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: morcon on March 05, 2012, 05:51:27 PM
Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 05, 2012, 06:20:53 PM
Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.

HOLY Sh*t!!!!!!!!!!

Greg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: OzJeeper on March 05, 2012, 07:44:10 PM
If I may refer to an earlier post and sort of do a correction.....to an "over 60's" joke....It's Never waste an erection and never trust a fart.

Well, that's how I heard it when I got my seniors card... ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 06, 2012, 03:23:38 AM
When up a ladder, using an 18v DeWalt with a 100mm hole saw to cut a hole in fascia for bathroom exhaust....

Be careful, the hole saw can bite, torque produced will spin the cordless around, wrench your arm and the base of the drill will hit you in the head.  It will hurt, you will see stars and fall form the ladder.

Just a tip for young players...
Sooo is there a lesson here ,,,,, get somebody eles to do it  :cheers: & watch
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: macca on March 06, 2012, 06:53:43 AM
Don't let your mate leave an uncovered battery in the back of a trailer. And if you do, definitely don't let him pack the battery under the billy can, next to the firewood and behind the gas cylinder.


That reminds me of another quote
"With friends like this, who needs enemies"

macca
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: toad on March 06, 2012, 08:40:33 AM
 5 rules to remember in life
 1/ Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle
2/ Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name
3/ Help someone when they are in trouble and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again
4/ Always tell the truth, there's less to remember
5/ Reforming a Labor voter is like trying to pick up a turd by its clean end
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mrs smith on March 06, 2012, 08:49:47 AM
Be nice to your mum,
she walks quietly and carries a big stick......
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: gibbo301 on March 06, 2012, 11:19:05 AM
Remember when over 50 it's dry dreams and wet farts  :'(
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: fishfinder on March 06, 2012, 08:41:28 PM
DO NOT Propose to the other half whilst your pissed and prove that your serious by placing it in writing - I woke up in the morning and saw the note I left on the table and still wondering how could have I drank so much
dont leave this forum open for the wife to read your posts  :'(
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bobnrob on March 07, 2012, 05:16:09 AM
If we ever have fuel rationing again, remember to re-connect vehicles filler hose before re-fueling...or at least make sure the boot of said vehicle is water tight so newly aquired fuel doesn't run all through the vehicle!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Pipeliner on March 07, 2012, 08:01:22 AM
Remember to disconnect the mains lead for the battery charger before driving off - it's embarrassing to be flagged down on the road to be told you're trailing 15m of extension lead.

If your trailer has a kitchen that slides out from the side, make sure it is firmly latched before going round tight corners at speed (luckily it was the maker who hadn't latched it properly after a service, so he footed the repair bill!).

If you have a DO35 coupling, don't forget to slide the latch across as otherwise the trailer can bounce off the hitch.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: cancan on March 07, 2012, 12:21:01 PM
if you see the light at the end of the tunnel get out of its way, chances are its a train
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 08, 2012, 08:52:16 PM
Funny bones are NOT funny when you hit them.......
It's always funnier when some one else chucks mud / follows through / craps themselves etc. Not that I've done that mind you :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: singo-26 on March 08, 2012, 08:59:28 PM
When you think "I'm going to hurt myself doing this", you are always right but you never stop.
For example: loosening a bolt you can always see where your hand is going to hit.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TroyE on March 08, 2012, 09:36:20 PM
if I ever get my hands on that bloody murphy he's a dead man. ;D

troy
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 08, 2012, 09:38:20 PM
You're not wrong Singo ;D
Everything falls just out of reach when working...... :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: singo-26 on March 08, 2012, 09:43:21 PM
A small child can make an easy job hard and at least 3 times longer.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: mcm72 on March 08, 2012, 10:52:43 PM
A small child can make an easy job hard and at least 3 times longer.

But a whole lot more fun ! :)
Title: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: @fnq4now on March 11, 2012, 07:18:52 PM
When drilling through your toolbox for your 12v install, Remember, your CT spare tyre is on the other side ????
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 12, 2012, 05:09:47 AM
Dont tell the bloke at the tyre shop how it happened , some can be very rude indeed  >:D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TrevJel on March 12, 2012, 08:35:25 AM
An old fella was dating my wife's mother and said to her how can someone so ugly produce 4 beautiful daughters?. They have not dated since. I crack up every time I think of it
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 12, 2012, 11:13:33 AM
Don't drive an hour as I did this morning to take a bushwalk and take some photo's with new camera.. Only to realise that left the camera battery on the charger at home :(

Greg
Title: Re: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: taipan on March 12, 2012, 11:56:06 AM
Don't drive an hour as I did this morning to take a bushwalk and take some photo's with new camera.. Only to realise that left the camera battery on the charger at home :(

Greg

At least you got some exercise ;)

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 12, 2012, 06:02:48 PM
No matter how urgent the need, ALWAYS check there is enough "ammo" on the dunny roll BEFORE "engaging the enemy".....
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: MarkGU on March 12, 2012, 06:20:37 PM
No matter how urgent the need, ALWAYS check there is enough "ammo" on the dunny roll BEFORE "engaging the enemy".....
now that would be enough to give ya the Shlits  (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-toilet09.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: jnik on March 12, 2012, 08:55:16 PM
When retrieving old fashioned steel rabbit traps and the pin is stuck in really hard DO NOT stand with your feet on either side of the pin while pulling ??? coz when it finally comes out it can reeeeeeaaaaaly  huuuuurrrrrrrtttttt  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Reminds me of cleaning up previous owner's junk pile down on the farm when I was a kid. My brother came across an old rabbit trap that had been added to the junk pile because it had lost its spring (so it's completely harmless) ... seeing an opportunity for a practical joke, he places it over his hand and runs inside screaming.

My poor mother (that was one of the kinder things he did).
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TroyE on March 12, 2012, 09:00:10 PM
Reminds me of cleaning up previous owner's junk pile down on the farm when I was a kid. My brother came across an old rabbit trap that had been added to the junk pile because it had lost its spring (so it's completely harmless) ... seeing an opportunity for a practical joke, he places it over his hand and runs inside screaming.

My poor mother (that was one of the kinder things he did).

rotflmfao :laugh:

troy
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: jetcrew on March 12, 2012, 09:01:24 PM
1.When the mower won't start check the fuel before pulling half the bloody thing apart ;D
2. when the car won't start check the battery before removing alternator
3. when the boat won't start ..hope you packed paddles.

When your fresh out of options don't try and make choices !

JET :D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: singo-26 on March 12, 2012, 09:13:01 PM
1.When the mower won't start check the fuel before pulling half the bloody thing apart ;D
2. when the car won't start check the battery before removing alternator
3. when the boat won't start ..hope you packed paddles.

When your fresh out of options don't try and make choices !

JET :D

When your solar wont charge, Who you gunna call.   ^^^^^^^^^^.    ;D ;D ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 12, 2012, 09:26:06 PM
When in the bush, and needing to use a shovel for an ablution, stay away from spinifex....when you fall in a hole in the ground and go over, it is painful.  Lesson learned by experience, painful memories of wife picking spnifex out of rear end for nearly an hour.
Regards
Tjupurula
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TOPNDR on March 13, 2012, 07:11:40 AM
Many mentions of Murphy's law but not one mention of O'Toole's Law.

O'Toole's Law says Murphy was an optimist!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: whitedg on March 13, 2012, 08:07:22 AM
Also, be nice to your kids - they will be the ones to pick your retirement home (if they can catch me - I plan on spending most of my retirement as a grey nomad  :D)

Cheers
whitedg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: austastar on March 13, 2012, 10:12:06 AM
Hi,
1.  When disconnecting the vehicle battery, remember the cables are still alive if the camper is still plugged in.

2.  60A fuses are not stocked in every automotive parts store.

cheers
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Victim on March 13, 2012, 01:01:35 PM

Men, when having a wee ALWAYS do it down wind!!!!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: HEM19X on March 15, 2012, 07:26:48 AM
Never allow anybody who has petrol to try & re-start a fire - especially when you are not looking.

Never fertilize your lawn shortly before a torrential downpour.

Never try to stop a drill bit from scratching the 4by with your fingers.

The statement "I can hit the golf ball over/under/around that tree" is a BIG mistake & will cost you dearly!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Chippy76 on March 15, 2012, 09:04:27 AM
Men, when having a wee ALWAYS do it down wind!!!!

When we went to Tasmania for our honey moon, we travelled to Stanley, and took the chairlift to the top. It was VERY windy and I was busting for a pee.  As there was no one around (no one was mad enough) I had a pee then and there ....sadly I peed INTO the wind, and copped it back on the leg of my jeans. My wife could not stop laughing at me. And I finally learnt  the meaning of my Dads saying "never p*ss into the wind"!

Cheers Chippy :D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tommo66 on March 15, 2012, 09:28:04 AM
one should always be cautious of where one puts one's d!ck and one's signature.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: phatassphairy on March 15, 2012, 03:09:07 PM
When the wife is searching for something to hang in the car window to keep the sun off the kids, dont suggest a pair of her undies >:D :o

blahhhhhhhhhh .

This is a bit of wisdom that my children have been raised with ...i use this is when i am at the end of my tether and i am about to brake out in full >:D mode....

Listen (childs name) when you have wiped my ass as often as i have wiped yours, then  we will do it your way ..but until then for both our sakes and safety (((what is relevant at the time of melt down))) ie ,,get in the car now!!!!

and the other tip for the kids ....that was set upon only on the eldest when she was 14 (at this stage).....
when you say to mum and dad ...it is so shame mum to have you drop me out the front of the party were everybody will see and it would be better for me if you could just drop us (her and her friends that you picked up on the way) around the corner.....that this is a far better option then having mum drive up the driveway and beep the horn, get out of the car in her uncool house clothes and yell across the car .... oh darling i am just checking did you brush your teeth tonight ...cause i can bring your toothbrush back for you if you need. ..... a moment of sweet bitter love  :cup: :cup: :cup: bless them .
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TOPNDR on March 15, 2012, 05:36:39 PM
#2.....  (Tadpole) asks' 'How many of them have you had'. Apparently, "Not enough, you still look like your Mother" was the WRONG answer, dunno why.......

I read some of the posts on this tread to Mrs T, laughing a lot, I couldn't get all the way through. 

Her response to the above comment was to suggest the following retort.

Well at least I don't look like Your mother!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 15, 2012, 07:14:59 PM
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOPNDR is the winner  :cup: The whole idea of this was to have a laugh, even at my $$$ . some funny $hit has come out. Just remember, if you can have a laugh all is not that bad.
Another pearl....... if you plant feathers you won't grow chooks! :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Join_Em on March 16, 2012, 07:04:32 PM
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer

 :cup:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 16, 2012, 07:12:52 PM
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer

 :cup:

 :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup: :cup
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: cruisindub on March 16, 2012, 09:09:37 PM
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 16, 2012, 09:11:40 PM
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.
What happened mate?
Greg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: GGV8Cruza on March 16, 2012, 09:21:37 PM
Do not, I repeat,...do not!!
Attempt to take my swaggers advice on how to remove 30 year old window tint on a Friday afternoon, after a long hard working week, with a couple of rums under your belt and little patience to actually do it after the missus nags you enough,......
it all goes horribly wrong, and turns into an expensive experience.
it all went wrong.

 :worthles:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: maurerless on March 16, 2012, 09:42:12 PM
Also, be nice to your kids - they will be the ones to pick your retirement home (if they can catch me - I plan on spending most of my retirement as a grey nomad  :D)

Cheers
whitedg

When I die, I want to peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did... not screaming like the passengers in his car. ;D

Also, don't rub your eyes after cutting chilli...
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 16, 2012, 10:28:08 PM
Remember when over 50 it's dry dreams and wet farts  :'(

Have you ben talking to my grandchidren....It took me a while to understand why they kept calling me an "old fart".
Tjupurula
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: cruisindub on March 17, 2012, 05:57:01 PM
What happened mate?
Greg
Slipped and cut my finger on the blade, swore, cracked the Shits and spat the dummy, punched the window, cut my hand, cracked the glass, swore, cracked the Shits and spat the dummy and kicked the step stool and broke
,yep you guessed it, one of the lowlights glass.
So yeah, expensive exercise, and not to mention the extra grief from the good wife,it all went horribly wrong.
Unfortunately Cruisindub wasn't his usual cruisy self.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mace on March 17, 2012, 06:16:25 PM
, with a couple of rums under your belt it all went wrong.

I think I can see something here!

 :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 17, 2012, 06:23:17 PM
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN:
Love her
Die for her
Take her to Dinner
Miss the game for her
Buy her Jewelry
HOW TO PLEASE A MAN:
Show up Naked
Bring Beer
How much Beer  :cheers:
 :cup:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bullfrog on March 17, 2012, 06:26:13 PM
When emptying a Porta Pottie into a hole in the ground, stand with feet well apart before pushing the air bleed button. A close stance while wearing thongs is not nice......
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 17, 2012, 08:46:55 PM
Slipped and cut my finger on the blade, swore, cracked the ****s and spat the dummy, punched the window, cut my hand, cracked the glass, swore, cracked the ****s and spat the dummy and kicked the step stool and broke
,yep you guessed it, one of the lowlights glass.
So yeah, expensive exercise, and not to mention the extra grief from the good wife,it all went horribly wrong.
Unfortunately Cruisindub wasn't his usual cruisy self.

Cruisin Dub, where abouts are you, I may be able to help get your glass replaced?
Greg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: areyonga on March 17, 2012, 08:52:33 PM
NEVER, take sleeping tablets and laxettes at the same time
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 17, 2012, 10:05:06 PM
NEVER, take sleeping tablets and laxettes at the same time

Yep, that reminds me of one I learned the hard way.........Never use laxative chocolates to make a chocolate cake for a kids birthday party, did that only once, never again.
Tjupurula
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TroyE on March 19, 2012, 08:49:27 PM
When I die, I want to peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did... not screaming like the passengers in his car. ;D

Also, don't rub your eyes after cutting chilli...
and don't take a leek before you wash your hands (very well) yep learnt that one the hard way in my first year as an apprentice chef
troy
Title: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: BigJules on March 19, 2012, 08:55:37 PM
Always remove the fill plug before the drain plug when changing fluids in your vehicle.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: cancan on March 19, 2012, 09:46:42 PM
and don't take a leek before you wash your hands (very well) yep learnt that one the hard way in my first year as an apprentice chef
troy
When your young playing rugby you learn quickly to have a leek before applying deep heat
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TroyE on March 19, 2012, 10:10:24 PM
When your young playing rugby you learn quickly to have a leek before applying deep heat
;) yep
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: johnyd on March 19, 2012, 10:25:09 PM
Don't take a bet about throwing rocks across rivers while in Northern NSW (Walgett), unless of course you brought an appropriate sized rock with you that is, or the other person is the one claiming they can throw it >:)

Also make sure said river isn't flooded at the time.  Mate had heard about it, and bet me in town (thinking it was the first time I'd been out there as well), he pulled out his rock when we got back in the ute and bounced it from hand to hand the entire way out of town.  We got the the "river" which had well and truly broken it's banks.  I got accused of cheating him :O
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: cruisindub on March 19, 2012, 11:19:36 PM
Cruisin Dub, where abouts are you, I may be able to help get your glass replaced?
Greg
South West WA, a bit far away from you Greg, though Many Thanks anyway.
Dont know anything about rendering, brick paving, painting, new kitchens,  new bathrooms, new laundrys, landscaping etc etc,

Yep, house refurb and its a pain in the ass,
Rather be drinking, rather be relaxing, all be worth it in the end. Patience is my virtue, hence the broken window........

Cheers for your offer,
you'll find me here everyday from sun up till when ever my patience runs out....
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Swannie on March 20, 2012, 06:08:46 AM
South West WA, a bit far away from you Greg, though Many Thanks anyway.
Dont know anything about rendering, brick paving, painting, new kitchens,  new bathrooms, new laundrys, landscaping etc etc,

Yep, house refurb and its a pain in the ass,
Rather be drinking, rather be relaxing, all be worth it in the end. Patience is my virtue, hence the broken window........

Cheers for your offer,
you'll find me here everyday from sun up till when ever my patience runs out....

Cheers mate, I actually have collegues over WA, so if you ever need glass just ask

Greg
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: singo-26 on March 20, 2012, 08:50:35 AM
When your young playing rugby you learn quickly to have a leek before applying deep heat

And don't scratch after either.
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: bushrat on March 24, 2012, 04:33:22 PM

When ones wife comes home form work in a not so good of a mood and you ask her how her day was
and she replies "I've worked my butt off today." DON'T, I mean really DON'T reply as she is walking past
"A little longer at work wouldn't of hurt."
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 24, 2012, 04:50:24 PM
Wsa just doing the preparations for tonights stir fry, and just finished cutting the chillies.  The phone rang so I answered it, and after a few minutes chatting, hung up and went to the littlest room in the house.  Quickly realised that I did not wash my hands first, only one appropriate word.....OUCH !
Tjupurula
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 24, 2012, 06:34:23 PM
Wsa just doing the preparations for tonights stir fry, and just finished cutting the chillies.  The phone rang so I answered it, and after a few minutes chatting, hung up and went to the littlest room in the house.  Quickly realised that I did not wash my hands first, only one appropriate word.....OUCH !
Tjupurula



You catch on quick ,,,,,,nop,,,,, >:D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 24, 2012, 06:49:55 PM


You catch on quick ,,,,,,nop,,,,, >:D

Not nice Speewa, I made a mistake and suffered the consequences.  Keep that up and I won't hold the stubbies, I will make it cans instead.
Tjupurula
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Crockett on March 24, 2012, 07:04:38 PM


If brut force and ignorance don't work,,,, get a bigger hammer
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: speewa158 on March 24, 2012, 07:47:48 PM
Not nice Speewa, I made a mistake and suffered the consequences.  Keep that up and I won't hold the stubbies, I will make it cans instead.
Tjupurula





 You can can me anytime ,  ;D ;D ;D    :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: singo-26 on March 24, 2012, 08:18:23 PM
Not nice Speewa, I made a mistake and suffered the consequences.  Keep that up and I won't hold the stubbies, I will make it cans instead.
Tjupurula

And wipe his chilli covered hands over the top of the can. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Campfire on March 24, 2012, 08:53:54 PM
OK this relates to careers and professional development.

You can have 1 year worth of experience 20 times over or you can have 20 years of experience.


Secondly:  I've found education opens many doors and exciting opportunities.

This is something which I am reinforcing with kids as they go through high school.

A job / career with good conditions means $$$$ for a nice flashy camper trailer.

Cheers

Campfire
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: TOPNDR on March 25, 2012, 12:47:07 AM
Wsa just doing the preparations for tonights stir fry, and just finished cutting the chillies.  The phone rang so I answered it, and after a few minutes chatting, hung up and went to the littlest room in the house.  Quickly realised that I did not wash my hands first, only one appropriate word.....OUCH !
Tjupurula

Many moons ago, a friend was cutting chillies for a curry. His significant other (SWMBO) walked naked through the kitchen on her way to the shower.  He gave her a little Tweak as she passed. 

Almost instantaneously, she realised she'd need to sit in the bath, rather than have a shower!
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Tjupurula on March 25, 2012, 01:23:31 AM
Many moons ago, a friend was cutting chillies for a curry. His significant other (SWMBO) walked naked through the kitchen on her way to the shower.  He gave her a little Tweak as she passed. 

Almost instantaneously, she realised she'd need to sit in the bath, rather than have a shower!

Um, let me guess, he didn't do that a second time.
Title: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: BigJules on March 25, 2012, 10:14:52 AM
Not did she :(
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: xcvator on April 04, 2012, 01:47:14 PM
It's best not to bend over quickly just after inserting a suppository  ;) they turn into really slippery little tackers very quickly  :-[
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: outback jack on April 04, 2012, 01:51:17 PM
It's best not to bend over quickly just after inserting a suppository

a doctor gave me some suppositories once and for all the good they were i may as well have shoved them up my ar5e
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: xcvator on April 04, 2012, 02:37:37 PM
a doctor gave me some suppositories once and for all the good they were i may as well have shoved them up my ar5e
spose you put em in your back passage ?  ;D
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: outback jack on April 04, 2012, 04:14:18 PM
spose you put em in your back passage ?  ;D

no i swallowed them (just joking)  :cheers:
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Mojo on August 31, 2014, 07:15:22 PM
Just back from our first trip in our new CT and I have learnt 2 valuable lessons....well one for me and one for the wife...

1, when the Kid wants something at 2 am it may be prudent for the missus to use the step up option rather than just get out of bed.....5ft is a long step..

2, when the wife steps / falls out of bed NEVER EVER LAUGH! her pain soon becomes yours, even at 2am....

Mojo.....still tending my bruises. :'( :'(
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Shelbyright on August 31, 2014, 09:46:27 PM
Never have a conversation with a wotkmate while you mobile phone is in your pocket. It may accidentally speed dial home and leave a very long message on the answering machine. Which your very angry wife will play to you over and over when you get home, while you bable and blunder your way into a deeper abyss.

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Bill on September 01, 2014, 06:16:08 AM
1- Empty metal jerry cans make a lot of noise in the holder when your getting frisky with the Misses at night.
2- On a nice peaceful night the sound of metal banging on metal carries all through the camping area.
Bill
Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: Garfish on September 02, 2014, 07:17:43 PM

Just back from our first trip in our new CT and I have learnt 2 valuable lessons....well one for me and one for the wife...

1, when the Kid wants something at 2 am it may be prudent for the missus to use the step up option rather than just get out of bed.....5ft is a long step..


Mojo.....still tending my bruises. :'( :'(

That's what kids safety rails are for

Title: Re: Pearls of Wisdom.. (or what I learnt the hard way)
Post by: PAC1977 on September 02, 2014, 07:35:30 PM
When Master 6yr old loses his first tooth do not do the dishes without checking the cups on the kitchen bench....worst dad in the world

Oh and Beer is the cause and solution to all of the worlds problems....